Oct 042004
 
four reels

Riddick (Vin Diesel), a fugitive and murderer, is brought to the planet Helion Prime to fulfill a prophecy that one of his race will stop the cult of the Necromongers from destroying society.聽 Once there, he learns that the young girl he abandoned five years earlier is locked away in the system’s most unpleasant prison.聽 Now he has to save her and deal with the cult leader who is responsible for the destruction of Riddick’s own world.

The Chronicles of Riddick is a sequel to the low budget, horror-SciFi thriller Pitch Black.聽 The characters of Riddick, Imam the holy man, and Jack (re-named Kyra and now played by the sexy and athletic Alexa Davalos) all return from the first film, but otherwise, there is little connection between the two.聽 These are very different types of films and both work better when the other is ignored.聽 The Chronicles of Riddick poses as a SciFi film, but it isn’t.聽 This is an epic fantasy, far closer to the 1982 Conan the Barbarian than to its own prequel.聽 In fact, the Conan connection is too close to be coincidental.聽 Like Conan, Riddick’s people were wiped out by a warrior who later becomes the head of a religious army that he must face.聽 Both are trained for warfare and held prisoner, and become amoral rogues.聽 There are other similarities, particularly the ending, which is a straight steal, but I don’t want to give away too much.

This is probably too big of a picture and could have been split into two: The Chronicles of Riddick: The Rescue of Kyra and The Chronicles of Riddick: The Defeat of the Necromongers.聽 The science is also nonsense.聽 But those are minor complaints.聽 This is a great big shiny picture.聽 It is fast paced, with stunning sets and original art design.聽 It just looks good.聽 And sounds good as well with music that adds to the tension while emphasizing the heroic nature of the story.聽 It all adds up to a great popcorn movie.聽 As long as your expectations are set for a visually dazzling Conan in Space you should have a good time.

 Reviews, Space Opera Tagged with:
Oct 042004
 
two reels

Four children, Evan, Andrea, Lenny, and Tommy, have a horrendous childhood filled with murder, molestation, mental breakdowns, and general cruelty.聽 Evan (Ashton Kutcher) blacks out during many of the worst moments.聽 As a college student, he finds that he can go back in time to the blacked out periods, and “fix” the past, but each change has horrible consequences.

Ray Bradbury’s A Sound of Thunder covered this story; in his version, a time traveler accidentally kills a butterfly, changing the world in unforeseen ways.聽 The Butterfly Effect adds very little conceptually, but while A Sound of Thunder is a short story, this is close to two hours long (I’m not commenting here on the new feature based on Bradbury’s story except to say that it is obviously too long).聽 The added time is filled with repeating things I already knew or could deduce, and emotional development of the characters, which it covered far too slowly.

The Butterfly Effect is also filled with plot holes and inconsistencies.聽 Try working out why on one occasion when Evan changes reality, another person notices, but all other times, no one does.聽 Or why some blackout periods are different from others.聽 Better yet, don’t try.聽 It will just make your head hurt.

Surprisingly, Kutcher does a fine job (nothing special, but acceptable) as the lead.聽 He was unjustly savaged by critics who apparently are opposed to him dating an attractive older woman and being a sitcom star.聽 Hey, Ashton Kutcher has a nice life right now;聽 deal with it.

The direction and cinematography are solid, the characters believable, and the story emotional.聽 Early on, it is too emotional as it is a black hole of despair until Evan gets to college, with only the mystery of the blackouts to distract from the tragedies heaped on tragedies.

The Butterfly Effect is one of those “almost” films.聽 It is a smart movie, made for a smarter than average audience, but then dumbed down in an attempt to make it understandable and accessible to people who will never like it.聽 Chop out an hour, don’t repeat what is already clear, and this could be one hell of a movie.

While I’m referring to the theatrical cut, there is a director’s cut which is longer (that’s not a good thing) but also a little darker where it should be.

 Reviews, Time Travel Tagged with:
Oct 042004
 
one reel

Having made a deal with a demon, the owner of a toy company plans to have millions of possessed toys wake up on Christmas morning and slaughter children.聽 Only a doll repairman (Corey Feldman), his daughter, and four living puppets can stop her.

Quick Review: So, Corey Feldman plays the aging intellectual father of a late teen girl.聽 Hmmm.聽 Do I need to say anything else to make you avoid this mess?聽 Feldman’s miscasting is on par with the mistakes made in the script, the directing, and the FX.聽 The original Puppet Master was made fifteen years ago, and the puppets looked better than.聽 Shouldn’t effects improve in fifteen years?聽 I like a good B-movie, and Full Moon Entertainment made some of the best, but the company has fallen apart and the rights to the Puppet Master series ended up in the hands of the SciFi channel.聽 So, they made a film without gore, without scares, and without humor.聽 Who is this suppose to appeal to?

Oct 032004
 
three reels

Van Helsing (Hugh Jackman) travels to Transylvania to defeat Dracula (Richard Roxburgh).聽 He joins up with Anna Valerious (Kate Beckinsale), whose family has fought Dracula for centuries, and they find themselves surrounded by vampires, werewolves, the Frankenstein Monster (Shuler Hensley), and assorted other evils.

What do you get when you combine exceptionally skilled filmmakers, a lot of money, and a complete lack of artistry?聽 Yes, it’s Van Helsing, one of the most beautifully filmed bits of drivel you’re likely to come upon.聽 This is filmmaking under the command of an excited ten-year-old.

“Yeah, yeah, lots of monster together.聽 So cool!聽 How about Hugh Jackman, he’s cool.聽 He’ll be cool with a hat.聽 What’s his character?聽 He’s a guy with a cool hat!聽 And that girl in vinyl from Underworld, she’s purrrdy.聽 If we put her in, she can wear corsets so we can see the tops of her boobies.聽 Acting?聽 We’re talking about her boobies here!聽 Back to the monsters, let’s have Dracula.聽 He’s great!聽 So the guy we’ve got to play him sounds like The Count on Sesame Street with more whining, but he’s got a cape, so it’s all OK.聽 We’ll put in Frankenstein.聽 Yeah, the monster, though we can toss in the doctor too.聽 And whenever the monster is on screen, he can yell his lines and lumber about.聽 So cool!聽 And I love Saturday morning cartoons, so let’s toss in some cartoon werewolves.聽 It will be so cool!聽 Plot?聽 Plot?聽 Hey, we’ve got all these monsters and they can meet up a bunch with the guy with the hat and the boobies girl.聽 What more plot do you want?”

So, why do I give Van Helsing ?聽 It has wooden acting and over-acting, plot holes far larger than the plot, characters behaving in moronic ways, and no theme.聽 So why?聽 Because there’s a bit of that ten-year-old in me, who still thinks it’s cool to have Dracula and Frankenstein and the Wolf Man together, and loves to see the running and fighting,聽 and who wants to see the cleavage of Ms. Beckinsale’s boobies.

Back to VampiresBack to WerewolvesBack to Mad Scientists

Oct 032004
 
one reel

With a portal now permanently open between Halloweentown and Earth, Marnie “Cromwell” Piper (Kimberly J. Brown), with the help of her mother (Judith Hoag) and grandmother (Debbie Reynolds), hosts a group of monster exchange students to a human high school.聽 However, the students are put in danger by unknown individuals who want to steal the Cromwell’s magic and seal the portal.

The third visit to the universe of Halloweentown (following聽Halloweentown and Halloweentown II: Kalabar’s Revenge) is less irritating than its predecessors, but also less like a movie.聽 What you’ve got here is an episode of a TV series.聽 It’s written like it, acted like it, and shot like it.聽 And I’m not talking about a high concept TV series, nor a complicated one.聽 This isn’t CSI with weird though compelling camera tricks.聽 No, we’re talking a run-of-the-mill sitcom made for the lowest common denominator.聽 Since a majority of sitcoms have been a little touch of Hell here on Earth (and not in a cool, goth way), you know the level of this production.

The same actors are back portraying the same characters (though younger sister Sophie is hard to find).聽 If you liked them in the previous films (then what’s wrong with you?), it’s more of the same.聽 If you didn’t like them…well, as I said, it’s more of the same.聽 And if you didn’t watch the first two films, what are you doing starting with this one?聽 None of the actors are memorable, with the exception of Debbie Reynolds, and this is not her finest hour.

No one put much effort into this outing, so any grand statements I might feel compelled to make about it ripping off Harry Potter are too strong.聽 Theft takes some work.聽 This flick just is, sitting there on the screen, passing by.聽 After an hour and a half, its over, and I can’t imagine that anyone in your household will care that it was ever on.

After watching three Halloweentown movies in three days, I just feel tired.聽 Children deserve better than this, and God knows, so do film critics.

 Halloween, Reviews, Witches Tagged with:
Oct 022004
 
two reels

In this third entry in the series, Blade (Wesley Snipes) joins up with a vampire hunting band (Jessica Biel, Ryan Reynolds) to stop Dracula (Dominic Purcell) and perhaps to end the vampire race forever.

With big, shiny, action films, it’s easy to ignore the skill level of the director.聽This isn’t Shakespeare after all, so anyone ought to be able to pull it off.聽But of course they can’t and Blade Trinity is the new poster child for poor directing.聽It’s hard to say what made David Goyer, the screen writer for all three Blade films, think he could take over the reins, last held by Guillermo del Toro.聽 Goyer can’t pry a performance from his actors with Wesley Snipes, Dominic Purcell, and Kris Kristofferson finding new degrees of stiffness while lead villainess Parker Posey just repeats her character from Josie and the Pussycats. Ah, but this is an action film, so perhaps the exciting fights make up for the uninspired performances. Sadly not. Here’s a tip for Mr. Goyer: Slow motion should be used sparingly.聽Yes, yes, if you must give us a slow-mo kick, fine.聽 And we all expected a slow-mo jump.聽But did we need slow motion walking?聽Slow motion dressing?聽For God’s sake, set the camera on normal speed!聽 The jerking editing doesn’t help either.

I would have thought that Goyer could have given us a better script, since he does have experience there.聽 Perhaps with more competent directing, the script would have worked better.聽As is, there just wasn’t much excitement.聽The villains are pale reflections of those from the first two films.聽Dracula is strangely limp.聽Shouldn’t the first vampire be…tough?聽 Shouldn’t he have some sort of plan other than running away?聽 Shouldn’t he have some reason for being on screen?聽Its not that the action and acting is all bad; it just isn’t good, and I seldom search out mediocre.

There are some high points, mainly in humor.聽This is the funniest Blade movie, with the badass himself getting in some good one-liners.聽But it’s wisecracking Hannibal King (Reynolds), one of the new sidekicks, who gets most of the laughs. He alone makes me want to catch the film a second time.聽Well, him and the Pomeranian…

Jessica Biel fulfills her role of “hot fighting babe” but that’s all she’s given to do. She wears sexy outfits (obviously chosen only for that purpose), and poses with a bow鈥攖hat’s her character.聽The out-of-left-field shower scene is particularly embarrassing.聽Look, if you decide to toss a shower scene into a film so the audience can ogle the chick (which is the point here as there is no Kris Kristofferson shower scene), then show the chick!聽Have her spend time making sure her breasts are clean.聽If you aren’t just going to go for it, then keep the poor girl dry. Apparently, I was supposed to be excited by the mere thought of water falling on her head, no matter that I could see more of her flesh when she was practicing archery.

The audience at the pre-release screening was pretty quiet except for Reynold’s induced laugher.聽They cheered a few times early on, but that faded, and they were gone as soon as the lights went up.聽Like me, they expected more. Big time Blade fans might want to catch this at a matinee.聽For anyone else, wait for it to appear on free cable.

The previous films are Blade and Blade II.

 Reviews, Superhero, Vampires Tagged with:
Oct 022004
 
three reels

Several years after Major Motoko Kusanagi (voice: Atsuko Tanaka) vanished into the computer network, the highly cybornetic Bat么 (voice: Akio 脭tsuka), with his new partner Togusa (K么ichi Yamadera), are assigned to investigate a string of murders committed by “gynoids” upon their masters.聽 Clues suggest that the huge Locus Lolus corporation is somehow responsible.聽But more than just the case, the head of the secretive Section 9 is concerned with Bat么’s attitude, and that he is beginning to act the same way that the Major did before she disappeared.

A sequel to Mamoru Osh卯’s influential, animated treatise on identity and existence, Ghost in the Shell, Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence is much like its predecessor.聽Osh卯’s has returned nine years later with the same philosophy, but with a lot more experience and some new animation programs.聽 Everything that was good in the original is better.聽And that should tell you much of what you need to know because this is only for those who have seen the first.聽 There’s no attempt to get the viewer caught up.聽As I’ve seen the first, I found that refreshing.聽You should also be familiar with Cyberpunk, anime, and Japanese doll veneration.聽If any of those make you scratch you head, you’ll find Ghost in the Shell 2 a confusing mess.

Like in the first film, the future-Noir setting is filled with cyborgs, androids, advanced weaponry, criminal gangs, corrupt corporations, and an ever-present Internet.聽But it is expanded, with greater detail and complexity.聽And it is displayed with exquisite computer animation.聽While the major characters were created with traditional 2-D drawings, everything else has been constructed in computers (quite fitting for the subject matter).聽It is impressive work.聽Even those who dislike the film will still be dazzled by the look of it.聽 You could be entertained by ignoring the story and just studying the backgrounds.

Of course the extraordinary quality of the computer animation makes the hand-drawn Bat么 and Togusa appear bland and out of place.聽That may have been intentional, but if so, it was a poor decision. It is more distracting than meaningful.聽However, Bat么’s pet basset hound (who represents the innocence in the title) still looks great. It is obvious that a great deal more effort was put into cell animating the dog than his master.

The central mystery of the movie is interesting, even if the characters don’t think so.聽Bat么 and Togusa are much more concerned with their debates over the nature of man than they are with who is killing whom and why.聽 But it is an engaging riddle nonetheless.

The pace is a bit quicker than in the first, with a gun battle or android assault happening when things get too slow.聽 And those action scenes should please anyone looking for carnage.聽No, the entire city doesn’t go up in flames (which tends to happen in low quality anime), but there’s plenty of machinegun fire, bombs, and swordplay.聽Add a dramatic score by Kenji Kawai (Ringu) to give the movie emotional resonance, and this is Osh卯’s best film.

However, while he has improved upon his strengths, he has done little to diminish his weaknesses.聽 As was all too apparent in the first Ghost in the Shell and his live-action Avalon, Osh卯 is incapable of making his points within the story he is telling.聽 Instead, he has his characters constantly talking about the human condition.聽 Sometimes it is relevant to what they are doing, but more often, it isn’t.聽Walking, driving, or sitting in the office, it is a non-stop philosophy 101 class.聽What’s worse, it rarely comes to anything.聽 Instead of arguments, they toss about one-liners on the soul or the fate of humanity, and then quote The Bible or Milton.聽The quotes, always out of context, have no depth, but we’re supposed to feel they do.

In order to fit in all the navel gazing of our heroes, the story ends up being overly simplistic.聽It could have been covered in thirty minutes.聽Figuring ten minutes of the film is focused on showing off how pretty it is (and I’m not saying that as a complaint; those are a worthwhile ten minutes), and that leaves close to an hour of these guys talking and talking and talking.聽I’d love for Osh卯 to make a point about what it means to be alive, and I’d love it even more if he did it by having something happen, and then leave it to us to work out the point without a character declaring it.聽But that’s not what happens here.

Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence is an astonishing piece of animation. No one will be bored by looking at it, but most people will by listening to it.

A note on the DVD: It is not dubbed into English, and many copies do not have English subtitles. Instead, they have English captions for the hearing impaired.聽So, not only do we get the dialog, but also text telling us there are crowd sounds or gun shots.聽 Since this is such a visual film, any additional distractions on the screen are a real problem.聽 Apparently a new pressing has been given proper subtitles, but I haven’t seen that yet.

 Cyberpunk, Reviews Tagged with:
Oct 012004
 
two reels

In ancient times, a war between the forces of light and darkness ended in a truce.聽The Night Watch was given authority to keep evil in its place (and the Day Watch polices “good”).聽Anton (Konstantin Khabensky) is an “other,” a person with supernatural powers.聽After meeting with a witch in order to harm the fetus of his cheating wife, he was introduced to the watches and chose the side of light.聽Now, twelve years later, he tracks a pair of vampires who are hunting a boy who may be “the Great Other” of a prophecy who will determine the outcome of the unfinished war.聽At the same time, the Night Watch must stop a curse which has caused a vortex of evil to ravage Moscow.

Word that Russia’s blockbuster, fantasy epic would make it to U.S. screens had cult movie fans drooling.聽They’ve had to keep generating that saliva for a long time as its release was delayed.聽But now (mid-February, 2005) it is finally going to appear, though in a limited number of theaters.聽And what is all the fuss about?聽 Well, it’s a modern-day action horror fantasy that borrows heavily from the likes of Blade, Neverwhere, Underworld, Constantine, and Nightbreed, but it’s in Russian, so it must be better.

The basic setup has a haunting charm to it, even if we’ve seen it many times before (note the previously mentioned films).聽Magic, witches, clairvoyants, shape changers, wizards, and vampires are all around us; we just don’t know it.聽The heroes try to retain the status quo.聽Considering how worn, dirty, and bug-infested Moscow appears, it might not be a bad idea if evil shook things up.聽 Anton is a renegade hero (aren’t they always?) who doesn’t take orders well.聽 He also looks and acts like he’s dealing poorly with heroin withdrawal.聽He’s not a happy guy.

With all the monsters and enchantments, this is a very busy film.聽People are constantly running here and there to deal with…well, here it gets a bit trickier.聽Most of the time, there’s no way to tell what the hell they are dealing with.聽It all makes sense in the end (even if what few rules we’ve been given have been violated), but most of it is a mystery when it takes place.聽 The film is half over before it finally becomes clear who the Others are (why they exist is not touched on), and it is even later when I finally realized that the two narrative threads have nothing to do with each other.聽Basic information is withheld and major plot points are barely mentioned, apparently to add suspense.聽The story (well, stories) turns out to be quite simple, but is told in the most confusing fashion possible.

More troubling than the lack of story development is the lack of character development.聽The film never bothers to give more than the most basic of personality traits to anyone, and most are given absolutely nothing.聽There is no opportunity to learn about these people, so it is hard to empathize with their problems.

For a low-budget film (somewhere in the 5 million range), it looks amazingly good.聽The effects could have come from a film costing four or five times more.聽Walking dolls, a woman transforming into a cat, an owl becoming human, and vampires sliding in and out of visibility, are spot on.聽 Still, when really big, Matrix-style flash is attempted, the lack of money is noticeable.聽And the filmmakers were a bit too proud of their computer creations, stuffing in an entire CSI season’s worth of shots into two hours.

Combat is notoriously expensive, and director Timur Bekmambetov shows little talent for doing it on the cheap.聽 Instead, when violence is called for, he just wobbles the camera and focuses on a shadow, leaving us to wonder what the guy holding a fluorescent tube is doing with it.聽Note to all warriors: choose a gun or sword for your dirty work; do not choose a fluorescent light bulb.

Night Watch reminds me of a fantasy role-playing game (or to a lesser extent, a computer game).聽It would be more fun to play than watch.聽There’s a lot on the screen, but it means very little.聽Perhaps the sequels (two have been announced, though the publication of a forth source novel implies there may be even more movies) will give some depth to the series.

The version I watched was the one shown in Russian (with added, hard-to-read English subtitles).聽There is a second, edited version, where the subtitles transition in and out and are colored to fit the mood of the character.聽Strangely, this gimmick has been warmly received.

Back to Vampires Back to Werewolves Back to Fantasy

Sep 302004
 
Directed & Written by: C. J. Roy.聽 16 min/20 min

This critique contains spoilers – if you have not seen the film yet, go to the Best Shorts page.

Roadside Attraction (2004)

C.J. Roy is young.聽 Young in a way that’s irritating to those of us who aren’t young anymore.聽 It means he has time.聽 And in time, he will be discovered by the suited figures who have loads of cash, and they will invite him to join the Hollywood community.聽 He has talent, and I wanted to announce my prediction for his future before anyone else so he will somehow feel indebted to me.聽 I like it when rich Hollywood directors are indebted to me (sure, but does Spielberg call any more?).聽 Until the suits discover him, you can with his short films Roadside Attractions and Human.

The basics of filmmaking are a given with any of Roy’s films.聽 So often, festival short films are made by people who have learned to operate a camera, but aren’t quite sure where to point it.聽 Roy has down lighting, camera angles, and framing.聽 That’s the easy stuff, but it’s nice to see a professional job after watching hours of other directors’ glamorized home movies.

Roadside Attractions is a horror film.聽 You can call it horror-comedy, but that is unnecessary as the best horror is funny.聽 During long sections of Dawn of the Dead, the laughs far outweigh the frights.聽 Even Macbeth has its clowns.聽 Roadside Attractions has the two Mullets.聽 While they are there for comedy, Walter, the geeky if oversized protagonist, is played relatively straight, even if I can’t help but laugh at his weak, nasal “hey”.聽 He sits in the diner, sipping his coffee and looking miserable.聽 The Mullets’ tormenting of poor Walter is a bit over the top, contrived for the audience to hate them, but in a sixteen minute short there isn’t time for subtle character development so I’ll bow to the expediency of the scene.聽 They are the villains and the clowns, and it is the second Mullet’s snorting of sweetener that keeps the film going in what would otherwise be a slow moment.

A dolly shot in the restroom and a scene in the car trunk鈥攚here the camera passes through the back seat鈥攁re the touches that put Roadside Attractions above its festival competition.聽 But for all that, for the first fourteen minutes, it is聽just a psycho-revenge film.聽 Nicely shot.聽 Well cast.聽 But nothing special.聽 That changes at the end as the sun rises.聽 Roy has captured the kind of scene that stays locked in my brain.聽 Even after a single viewing, I could recall it vividly: from Walter’s smile, to a few globes, to looking over the field from behind Walter.聽 I already knew Walter was a serial killer (mass murderer would probably be more accurate, but “murder” implies there is something wrong with what he is doing, and I’m firmly on Walter’s side), so the final scene doesn’t give me any new information, though it widens the scope a bit.聽 It wasn’t what it was conveying to me, but how.聽 It didn’t tell me what he’d done, it showed me in a way I could feel, and that makes it art.

I can’t leave Roadside Attractions without mentioning the final song, which I assume from the credits must be the oddly titled Elephant, Perfect in the Sun聽by Carvel Bass.聽 Besides being a catchy tune (I spent a whole day with it repeating in my mind which is particularly impressive since I can’t make out most of the words), it alters the atmosphere of the last scene.聽 It gives the situation a feeling of inevitability, and strangely, peace.


Human (2003)

Human is a more meaningful film than Roadside Attractions, with plenty to start up discussions on the nature of human existence, personal identity, and dominance, but as a whole, it is less successful.聽 That still makes it better than 99% of the shorts making the festival circuit.聽 If you are reading this, you should know the story, but for clarity: James Anne Farrell plays an android, part wife, part slave;聽she slowly shows signs of life, overcomes the devices that keep her enslaved, and leaves to create her own existence.

Human is a silent film, the kind I always wonder why they didn’t make eighty years ago.聽 No one speaks because there is never a reason to.聽 What would the AI and the owner have to talk about?聽 The visuals鈥攖he sterile suburban home, the roses, the AI’s expressions鈥攖ell everything.聽 In particular it is Ms Farrell, in a superb performance, that reveals the story.聽 She combines innocence, boredom, curiosity, sexuality, and longing into a surprisingly complex character for a 20 minute, dialog-free short.

Much of the film’s world is left implied.聽 Is the AI the only one or are there millions of slave androids?聽 The owner appears to be a businessman, not a scientist, so it’s reasonable to assume this is a slave state where the wealthy can buy servants and companions at the local Robots R Us.聽 Do other androids show signs of self-motivation?聽 Again nothing says, but it raises far fewer questions if humans just don’t care what the androids feel.聽 Since the owner shows no indication of love or devotion for the android, but cries over a picture of her, she must have been made in the image of a lost wife (dead or just departed).聽 This gives us a sad view of the flaws in human nature.聽 The owner wanted a replacement for his loved one, but can’t treat that replacement with love as if it were his missing wife, nor can he give it respect as its own being.聽 I could teach a senior level philosophy class from the issues raised in Human and it could probably supply the content for a sophomore level psychology class.

So, in a film so thought provoking, what doesn’t work?聽 Well, it is a very serious work.聽 I can’t imagine where a joke or two could have been added, but I’ve never seen a film where a bit of humor didn’t help, and there’s not much to be found here.聽 As Human was destined to stay laugh-free, it is a little too long.聽 There aren’t easy cuts to be made, but in the best films, good moments are sacrificed for the sake of the whole.

Also, one scene is a bit troubling.聽 The AI is mounted on the owner in a sex act that takes her toward violence while he reacts initially as if she’s a sex toy used for masturbation.聽 It’s a very important scene.聽 There is less nudity than I would have liked, and less than the scene really needs (with annoying glare used to hide flesh), but that’s to be expected in the slightly prudish world of indie films.聽 The problem is a switch in point of view.聽 As the AI loses control, I was suddenly looking through the eyes of the owner.聽 This is jarring, and not in a good way.聽 It is the AI’s feelings that are important, not the owners.聽 Seeing from her point of view, or continuing to act as a voyeur, would keep the focus on her.聽 Worse still, those insert shots are awkward, something I don’t expect from Roy.聽 Looking up at the AI, I don’t see hunger and mania, rather I see the need for a different camera lens.

Then there is the music.聽 It is excellent.聽 Slow, with few changes, it drives home the emptiness of the AI’s situation, letting me feel why she wants more.聽 It is excellent, that is, for awhile.聽 For three minutes, it’s great.聽 For five minutes, it’s good.聽 But at the end of twenty minutes, I wanted to gnaw a foot off, preferably the composers.聽 The same notes repeat over and over and over.

I recently spoke to C.J. Roy.聽 He plans to re-edit Human and alter the music.聽 That sounds promising and I look forward to the new version鈥攚ith only minor trepidation.聽 For now, Human is a good film that could have been great.

Sep 302004
 

Directed by: Robi Michael.聽 Written by: Winston Engle (based on a short story by A.E. van Vogt).聽 Produced by: Thomas Sammon.聽 Visual effects supervision by: Thomas Marinello.聽 25 min

“Unhappy paint is dead paint.”

The ’40s and ’50s were an unimpressive time for cinematic science fiction.聽 Space opera serials, mad doctors, and a few red-scare-induced alien invasions were pretty much it, and few of those were intended for thinking adults.聽 But in the literary world, this was the golden age (or so it has been labeled).聽 Magazines were filled with the stories of genre masters: Robert A. Heinlein, Isaac Asimov, Leigh Brackett, Ray Bradbury, Arthur C. Clarke, and Philip K. Dick.

Add one more to that list: A.E. van Vogt, a masterful author who made a career of stories where a character would run into something alien (a device, life-form, ruin) and then have to determine how it functioned in order to survive.聽 The character didn’t have to understand everything, which is good as the situation would be beyond understanding human understanding; he just needed to figure out that one important thing.聽 A Can of Paint is van Vogt’s best story of this type.

Kilgour (Aaron Robson), an interstellar junk dealer, stumbles upon an abandoned ship.聽 A bit of raiding and he ends up with some odds and ends, including an unlabeled can.聽 A forceful scan causes it to open explosively, splattering just the smallest dab of its contents, paint, on his hand.聽 Unfortunately, the aliens who made it had a different vision of paint than Kilgour has, and this stuff begins to grow, covering his body.聽 If he doesn’t find a way to get it off in a few hours, he’ll be dead.聽 And when his first idea causes his engines to fail, things start to look grim.

With a story so filled with inner monologues, it isn’t obvious that this is the stuff of a great film, but Winston Engle improves on a good thing, remaining faithful to the concept of the short story while adding witty dialog.聽 The new character of the ship’s computer (voice: Jean Franzblau) gives Kilgour a target for his ideas and sarcasm.聽 Remarkably, Engle’s smooth and easy skill with language allows a single onscreen actor to convey a huge amount of information to an off-screen voice without it ever feeling like an exposition聽dump.聽 Everything seems natural, at least for a guy in space slowly being enveloped by smart paint.

The production values match the script.聽 Two spaceship exteriors, expanding paint, a spacewalk where Kilgour removes a solar panel as the sun rises, and various futuristic-junk-ship interiors all look great, and never distract from the central story.聽 Nothing gives away that this isn’t a big-budget Hollywood flick.

Robson brings charm to a difficult part.聽 He cares the film on his shoulders, and he’s got plenty of personality to make it work.聽 His unusual dialect of English (which I took as Australian, but is actually from somewhere around London) added the proper touch to make Kilgour seem like a man from another place and time; it also occasionally made it difficult for those of us who are accent-impaired to understand every word.

A Can of Paint presents a great mystery, told with a sense of humor and astoundingly high production values.聽 No film brings the feeling of the golden age of science fiction literature to the screen better.

Sep 292004
 
toxic

In the Deep South, outlandish Professor G.H. Dorr (Tom Hanks) rents a room from formidable, Bible-thumping Marva Munson (Irma P. Hall). Using the cover of being an early Renaissance band, Dorr and his gang: explosives “expert” Garth Pancake (J.K. Simmons), tunnel man The General (Tzi Ma), muscleman Lump Hudson (Ryan Hurst), and street punk Gawain MacSam (Marlon Wayans), tunnel from the basement of the house into the vault of a local casino.聽However, when things go wrong, the criminals must find a way of dealing with the tough old lady.

For God’s sake why?聽Why would anyone think it was a good idea to remake the 1955聽classic?聽Why did the astute Coen brothers, makers of Fargo and The Hudsucker Proxy, take on this project?聽Why did Academy award winner Tom Hanks, who has his choice of roles, sign on?

But there are even bigger questions, such as: Did no one involved understand why the original was funny?聽And why, oh God why, in what is essentially a dark, G-rated comedy, was Marlon Wayans hired to play a foul-mouthed stereotype suitable only for a raunchy, teen comedy?

To catch up anyone not familiar with Post-War British Comedies, the original The Ladykillers is a signature film of the era.聽Quick moving, with a skewed view of the world, the film pits hardened criminals against a sweet, little old lady.聽While the thugs can handle anything the law can throw at them, they have no ability to deal with the utterly innocent woman.聽The laughs, and there are many, come from this woman who exists in a gentler time鈥攁 time that never existed, but is the rose-colored view some had of pre-WWII England鈥攁nd her defeat of the gang, without her understanding what is happening around her.聽Alec Guinness played the bizarre criminal mastermind and is backed by an unbeatable supporting cast, including Herbert Lom and a pre-star Peter Sellers.

The new version loosely follows the original story, though it changes the robbery, removing the old lady’s importance.聽But it is massively different in tone and pace. This is a slow film.聽Each member of the gang is introduced in painstaking and humorless detail.聽For the depth each is given (outside of Dorr, everything you need to know about them could be written on your thumb), having them walk into the room would have been sufficient.

Hank’s character (and performance) is even stranger than聽Guinness’, and while interesting, it isn’t funny, and that’s an insurmountable problem in a comedy.聽Hank’s main bit is to purr out extremely convoluted lines that display the writers’ ability to use a thesaurus.聽His recitations take forever.聽Add in a gospel number, which stops the story dead in its tracks, and you’ve got a movie that’s glacial.

As the old lady of the film is anything but little (scary is a better term), there is no comic dynamic at work.聽 There’s no question that this woman can and will defeat the crooks. She could just beat them to death.聽The switch in character not only removes any humorous potential from the interaction of the SOL (Scary Old Lady) and the tough guys, but makes the ending nonsensical.聽Yup, the Coens port over the final gag from the ’50s film, but, like so many other elements, it doesn’t fit.

So, if all the old humor is gone, is there anything funny added? No.聽There are attempts.聽There’s Dorr’s long winded speeches and MacSam’s swearing.聽But is the repeated use of “fuck” really funny?聽I hear the word every day and rarely giggle.聽Besides that, we’re given a character with irritable bowel syndrome. I suppose if someone needing to rush to a restroom is your idea of humor, then there’s something here for you.聽I was bored.

I guess we are supposed to think that middle-aged black women, in flowered dresses and hats, going to church, is funny.聽 It’s not, but the filmmakers must have thought so as there’s no other reason for it to be in the film.聽There’s also a direct steal from The Blues Brothers.聽There, it was a nun swatting the brothers for swearing; here it is the Baptist lady slapping the hip hop guy for swearing.聽The closest thing to a joke that works is the black woman sending donations to racist Bob Jones University.聽It’s not very funny, but I smiled.

On the positive side, there is no fear of this movie supplanting the 1955 version in film history.聽That one will continue to be loved for years to come while this will be justly forgotten.

Sep 292004
 
one reel

A businessman (Steven Weber) must re-live Christmas Eve twelve times to learn the true meaning of the season.

Quick Review: Was there a need to combine It’s a Wonderful Life with Groundhog Day?聽 The first has been copied far too many times and the second pretty much covered the reliving-a-day genre.聽 This isn’t an artistic creation, but a cynical construct.聽 Hey, Miracle on 34th Street is a classic and Titanic made a lot of money, so let’s make a film where Santa is tried by the captain of a doomed ocean liner.聽 I can’t see that any more consideration was put into green-lighting this project.聽 As I knew exactly what was going to happen after watching the trailer, I had to rely on the execution to make 12 Days of Christmas worth watching.聽 But the dialog is sit-com stuff and the details are bland.聽 I did appreciate the foolish businessman repeating President George W. Bush’s bizarre misstatement “Fool me once, shame on me; fool me twice, won’t get fooled again.”聽 Bush couldn’t manage the correct quote as that would require him to say he could, theoretically, be wrong.聽 In this case, it’s the producer of this unnecessary picture that needs to repeat the correct version of the end of the quote.

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