In the Deep South, outlandish Professor G.H. Dorr (Tom Hanks) rents a room from formidable, Bible-thumping Marva Munson (Irma P. Hall). Using the cover of being an early Renaissance band, Dorr and his gang: explosives “expert” Garth Pancake (J.K. Simmons), tunnel man The General (Tzi Ma), muscleman Lump Hudson (Ryan Hurst), and street punk Gawain MacSam (Marlon Wayans), tunnel from the basement of the house into the vault of a local casino. However, when things go wrong, the criminals must find a way of dealing with the tough old lady.
For God’s sake why? Why would anyone think it was a good idea to remake the 1955 classic? Why did the astute Coen brothers, makers of Fargo and The Hudsucker Proxy, take on this project? Why did Academy award winner Tom Hanks, who has his choice of roles, sign on?
But there are even bigger questions, such as: Did no one involved understand why the original was funny? And why, oh God why, in what is essentially a dark, G-rated comedy, was Marlon Wayans hired to play a foul-mouthed stereotype suitable only for a raunchy, teen comedy?
To catch up anyone not familiar with Post-War British Comedies, the original The Ladykillers is a signature film of the era. Quick moving, with a skewed view of the world, the film pits hardened criminals against a sweet, little old lady. While the thugs can handle anything the law can throw at them, they have no ability to deal with the utterly innocent woman. The laughs, and there are many, come from this woman who exists in a gentler time—a time that never existed, but is the rose-colored view some had of pre-WWII England—and her defeat of the gang, without her understanding what is happening around her. Alec Guinness played the bizarre criminal mastermind and is backed by an unbeatable supporting cast, including Herbert Lom and a pre-star Peter Sellers.
The new version loosely follows the original story, though it changes the robbery, removing the old lady’s importance. But it is massively different in tone and pace. This is a slow film. Each member of the gang is introduced in painstaking and humorless detail. For the depth each is given (outside of Dorr, everything you need to know about them could be written on your thumb), having them walk into the room would have been sufficient.
Hank’s character (and performance) is even stranger than Guinness’, and while interesting, it isn’t funny, and that’s an insurmountable problem in a comedy. Hank’s main bit is to purr out extremely convoluted lines that display the writers’ ability to use a thesaurus. His recitations take forever. Add in a gospel number, which stops the story dead in its tracks, and you’ve got a movie that’s glacial.
As the old lady of the film is anything but little (scary is a better term), there is no comic dynamic at work. There’s no question that this woman can and will defeat the crooks. She could just beat them to death. The switch in character not only removes any humorous potential from the interaction of the SOL (Scary Old Lady) and the tough guys, but makes the ending nonsensical. Yup, the Coens port over the final gag from the ’50s film, but, like so many other elements, it doesn’t fit.
So, if all the old humor is gone, is there anything funny added? No. There are attempts. There’s Dorr’s long winded speeches and MacSam’s swearing. But is the repeated use of “fuck” really funny? I hear the word every day and rarely giggle. Besides that, we’re given a character with irritable bowel syndrome. I suppose if someone needing to rush to a restroom is your idea of humor, then there’s something here for you. I was bored.
I guess we are supposed to think that middle-aged black women, in flowered dresses and hats, going to church, is funny. It’s not, but the filmmakers must have thought so as there’s no other reason for it to be in the film. There’s also a direct steal from The Blues Brothers. There, it was a nun swatting the brothers for swearing; here it is the Baptist lady slapping the hip hop guy for swearing. The closest thing to a joke that works is the black woman sending donations to racist Bob Jones University. It’s not very funny, but I smiled.
On the positive side, there is no fear of this movie supplanting the 1955 version in film history. That one will continue to be loved for years to come while this will be justly forgotten.