Foster on Film

Duke and Chester (Bing Crosby, Bob Hope) find themselves in snow-covered Alaska, disguised as killers and innocently carrying a stolen treasure map.  The real owner of the map, Skagway Sal (Dorothy Lamour), attempts to seduce the map from them.  The local gangster, Ace Larson (Douglass Dumbrille), and the killers, Sperry and McGurk, also want the

Years after becoming Santa Claus, Scott Calvin  (Tim Allen) discovers that his now teenaged son is on the “naughty list” and that he must find a wife before Christmas or cease being Santa. Quick Review: The 1998 The Santa Clause was a surprisingly delightful, simple, Christmas film, playing with the traditional view of Santa by adding

Martians come to Earth to kidnap Santa Claus because their children are morose.  They plan to set him up in a toy shop on Mars, but one Martian rebels, and it is up to Santa Claus and some children to put things right. Quick Review: I first saw Santa Claus Conquers the Martians at the

The first feature-length, talkie, version of Dickens’ story in which Ebenezer Scrooge (Sir Seymour Hicks) learns the meaning of Christmas from three spirits. Quick Review: Yes, 1935 was a long time ago and many film techniques were not yet invented, but that is no excuse for dull acting and non-existent camera work. Nor does saying

In this comedy take on A Christmas Carol, the three spirits of Christmas (David Johansen, Carol Kane, Chaz Conner) visit TV network president Francis Cross (Bill Murray) who is producing a live version of the Dickens’s tale. I can imagine Murray and director Richard Donner talking about how wild, how edgy their new film was

It’s time for Santa to retire, and Nick Jr. (Steve Guttenberg) to become the new Santa.  But first he has to find a wife, and he’s got to do it by Christmas.  Earnest (Armin Shimerman), the overly proper elf, has made up a list of possible candidates, but Nick falls for Beth (Crystal Bernard), a

Ichabod Crane (Johnny Depp) is sent to Sleepy Hollow to investigate a series of murders.  There he discovers secret plots, a beautiful girl (Christina Ricci), and stories of a headless horseman (Christopher Walken).  But the horseman isn’t a legend, but a ghost, and he has more heads to chop off before he’s done. Quick Review:

Stan Marsh (voice: Trey Parker), Kyle Broflovski  (voice: Matt Stone), Kenny McCormick  (voice: Matt Stone), and Eric Cartman (voice: Trey Parker) take a trip to Nebraska to visit Eric’s relatives at Christmastime.  Eric’s jailed uncle chooses this time to escape along with Charles Manson.  When none of the other adults will take the boys to

Mr. Garrison’s overly religious Christmas play draws the ire of Kyle’s mom.  She protests that it is insensitive to Jews.  Soon, everyone in South Park is arguing and all symbols of Christmas, religious and secular, are removed.  When the mayor asks for a new holiday symbol, Kyle (voice: Matt Stone) suggests Mr. Hankey the Christmas

A plotless, all singing episode of South Park, where the boys, their parents, school teachers, and even Satan, sing about the joy of the Christmas season.  22 min. Yet another South Park Christmas episode, and creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker have hit a dry spell.  There’s a few clever ideas mixed in with some

With the whole of South Park lacking in Christmas spirit, Stan Marsh (voice: Trey Parker), Kyle Broflovski  (voice: Matt Stone), Kenny McCormick  (voice: Matt Stone), and Eric Cartman (voice: Trey Parker) go down in the sewers to find Mr. Hankey.  He has gotten married to a drunk and had three children, so hasn’t had time

Series Christmas Episode: Stan Marsh (Trey Parker-voice), out walking in the forest, comes upon the woodland critters preparing for Christmas.  They ask his help in putting a star on the top of their tree.  Later, the critters turn up at Stan’s house asking for more help.  It seems that lady porcupine, a virgin, is pregnant