Dude. Dude. No dude, listen. OK, OK. Dude. This is soooo cool. You see, pollution…is bad. It really sucks dude. And it grows into a monster after this hot chick sings a go-go tune. She is soooo hot. Huh? Oh yeah, the monster dude, he like attacks some city and then starts toking up on some smokestacks. Toke on monster dude. There’s this little dude, like a dudette, except he’s not a chick. I think he’s not a chick. He’s wearing these really tight hot pants all the time, so maybe he wants to be a chick. Whoe. That like, changes the whole thing, you know. Well, the little chick dude, he can read the mind of a big gray lizard. So he knows the lizard hates pollution too. Righteous lizard dude! So the monster’s start fighting, and then there’s some cartoons. Really dude, cartoons. And some dancers have fish heads. Dude. It rocks. I really need a hit.
After a series of abysmal Godzilla films, it was time to do something different. But were trippy dancing, psychedelic backgrounds, and a pollution monster too different? Certainly for a serious monster film, but there hadn’t been anything serious about the Godzilla franchise for years. Nor had there been much that was fun. And Godzilla vs. Hedorah (Godzilla vs. The Smog Monster in the U.S.) does bring back the fun, just not the same kind of fun. It is background for a stoner’s afternoon.
On the downside, even if your humming Incense and Peppermint, is the ridicules look of Hedorah. He’s a glob of plastic in the form of a garbage pile with plush animal eyes glued on. You can’t smoke enough to make that work. The Godzilla suit is pretty silly as well, but next to Hedorah, the big lizard is sculpted by Michelangelo. There’s also the matter of Kenny. Many of the worst Japanese monster flicks have a Kenny. He’s a young boy who wears bizarrely tight short-shorts and has an unexplained link with the heroic monster. Here, the kid is actually named Ken, and you’ll need a lot of good weed to get his adoration of Godzilla out of your mind.
If you are properly high, you’ll be able to sit back and enjoy the hallucinogenic dance, with an undulating singer clad in a tan body suit and paint, where everyone suddenly has the head of a fish. You’ll be able to dig the multiple animated clips as well as Godzilla flying using his atomic breath as a rocket. And of course, you’ll be able to groove with the rock-fueled and drug-fueled love-fest on top of Mt. Fuji.
Yup, this is one weird movie. It all leads up to the castration scene. Yes, Godzilla rips out Hedorah’s testicles (just the way he’ll rip out the testicles of anyone who pollutes…). You just don’t see a lot of testicle grabbing, and then testicle igniting, in your average giant monster film.
Producer Tomoyuki Tanaka, who’d been out of touch during production due to illness, made the mistake of watching the finished film straight. He hated it, insisting that writer/director Yoshimitsu Banno had ruined the series. Come on. Once you’ve made Godzilla’s Revenge, there’s nothing left you can ruin.
Godzilla vs. Hedorah isn’t for anyone looking for exciting monster action or a babysitter for pre-school kids. But if you’ve picked up some acid, and some good Mexican pot, then toss this on and blow your mind.