Oct 081964
Martians come to Earth to kidnap Santa Claus because their children are morose. They plan to set him up in a toy shop on Mars, but one Martian rebels, and it is up to Santa Claus and some children to put things right.
Quick Review: I first saw Santa Claus Conquers the Martians at the height of its cult status in the early 80s. Originally made for children, it is too odd and too poorly done to work as kid’s entertainment. But those same qualities made it a natural for a midnight college showing. It had an extra draw at the time; Pia Zadora, who played a 10 year old Martian in ’64, had grown up quite well and her nude pictorials filled magazines. So, the theater was filled, and in that setting, with everyone shouting and throwing things, it was a lot of fun. But that is the only way to enjoy this primitive mess. On its own, it isn’t funny or heartwarming, just silly. But if you are planning a frat party, add a few more 
s.