Oct 081999
 
three reels

Godzilla is back, and out-of-work scientist and partial comic-relief, Professor Yuji Shinoda and his daughter, calling themselves the Godzilla Prediction Network, want to study him.  They drive up and down the coast, joined by a full comic-relief reporter, because that’s how you study a giant monster.  Meanwhile, the head of a government crisis agency takes an ancient meteorite out of the sea, which comes to life in sunlight.  The alien wants Godzilla’s regenerating cells so that it can become a giant monster.  Is it any surprise that Godzilla isn’t going to let that happen without a fight, or that the scientists and military commanders aren’t going to do anything significant?

Yes, the big lizard is back, in the first movie of his third series of Toho produced films.  He’s big, he’s green (he’d always been gray), and he’s doing the same stuff he’s done so many times before: stomping on buildings and tussling with an alien.  There’s nothing new here.  The script could have been made with a scissors, paste, and five or six scripts from earlier films.  Godzilla appears.  He destroys some things, then disappears for awhile.  A reporter runs around trying to get the big story while a kid acts twice his/her age and a scientist does several things of no importance.  An alien spaceship appears and people try to deal with it non-violently before they remember that aliens are always evil.  Then an extraterrestrial monster (or a local one under alien control) starts destroying Tokyo just a little worse than Godzilla would.  Multiple missile attacks have no effect, leaving the big beasts to fight it out while the humans do color commentary.

Yes, it’s all been done before, but this time, it’s done a little better.  The effects are snazzier, the acting is less amateurish, the child is less annoying, the buildings and military vehicles are far more realistic, the monster fights are cooler, and the story…well, the story isn’t any stupider.  As a meaningless, fun Godzilla movie, this is one of the best.

Toho had killed off their star critter in 1995’s Godzilla vs. Destroyah, turning the reins over to Roland Emmerich and Dean Devlin for a big budget Hollywood take.  But they didn’t like the results, nor did diehard fans.  By some accounts, Toho made this movie as a response to the outcry, but other statements claim Toho was always planning to take back their lizard.  Whatever the motivation (I’ll guess money), the studio made a new rubber suit, and once again started from scratch, dumping the previous twenty-two movies.  All we’re told is that Godzilla is a radioactive monster that visits Japan from time to time to cause havoc.  From there they take off with no concern for contradictions.

Watching this brings back the kind of joy I felt as a young child when I first saw Godzilla vs. The Thing.  It’s joy with reservations, but it’s hard not to smile.  The cause of the reservations?  Poor acting, horrible characterizations, and way too much time spent with humans running about.  There’s little good to be found when the monsters are off stage, but that’s been true of almost every Godzilla film.  This time the main problems come in the stiffness of the “villain,” and the fact that the hero’s point of view is indefensible, yet we’re supposed to agree with it.  The villain is given that title because he wants to kill Godzilla while Shinoda wants him alive.  Ummmm.  You know, if an enormous monster was squashing my friends and loved ones time after time, I’d want it dead too.  To make the viewer side with the hero, we see no deaths.  None.  Zero.  One person falls off a building at the end (but we don’t see it).  But I’ve got an imagination.  I can picture all those people being splattered or fried, and kept hoping Shinoda would be next.

Away from the speaking characters, things are generally in good shape.  The addition of  CGI helps, giving Godzilla 2000 the best effects in a Japanese Godzilla film to date, even if they are uneven.  The flying saucer often looks like a cartoon, but that’s a small quip.  Godzilla’s opponent has the best design of a new monster since Ghidorah.  Is it coincidence that he resembles Gamera (a flying turtle whose films are made by a competing studio) mixed with the American Godzilla?

For a change, the dubbing doesn’t harm the picture because the English lines are penned with a sense of humor.  Dialog from classic American pictures pops up when the flick needs a boost.  It’s always a good idea to steal from Dr. Strangelove.

If you’ve never seen one of the Big-G’s films, then this isn’t the place to start.  If you’ve seen a few and hate them (and they weren’t all the late ’60s/early ’70s disasters), this isn’t going to change your mind.  But if you’ve liked any of them, then you’ll enjoy the green guy’s rebirth.