An annoying teen (Omri Katz), who dislikes Halloween because the script says so, accidentally resurrects the witchy Sanderson sisters Winifred, Mary, and Sarah (Bette Midler, Kathy Najimy, Sarah Jessica Parker). With the aid of his obnoxious little sister (a prepubescent Thora Birch), and a love interest who’s only along for the ride, he must stop the witches from sucking the life from all the children of the town.
Witches, ghosts, a zombie, an enchanted cat, a spell book, and several magic-themed songs, all delivered with a light tone, makes Hocus Pocus the perfect family Halloween film. Well, perhaps for that to be accurate I need to redefine “perfect,” or just stick on a lot of modifiers. How about: The conceptually perfect family Halloween film that at times might provoke you to strangle small children with licorice. That sounds about right.
If the concept is on the right track, that usually means there are problems with the execution, but with the exception of the teen actors, there are no huge flaws. The film looks good, and the effects are state-of-the-art, for 1993. No, the problems are with the script, and they are enormous, all devouring defects, that suck the fun out of anything enjoyable that comes near them. They sunk the feature during its theatrical run, but now that you are likely only to see Hocus Pocus at home, there’s a way around them. Skip them. Don’t watch the whole film, just pieces.
Things start off well with Midler, Najimy, and Parker hamming it up. They’re all playing like they are a comedy stage act. Midler is chewing the scenery, making sure everyone in the cheap seats is having a good time. There’s no subtlety, but who wants a subtle witch? Najimy is right there with her, while Parker…ahhhh…she will set hearts aflutter. I sometimes forget how hot she was (is?). It’s Salem in 1693 and the witches are sucking the lives out of children. But their none-to-clever plot gets them hung, and that means it’s time to turn off the TV, or hit the skip button on your DVD remote.
After the Sanderson sisters bite it, things get painful. We’re tossed ahead to 1993 for an half hour of unpleasant teen-in-school and teen-with-young-sister faux drama that should cause you to hate: 1) Teens 2) Young Children 3) Disney. Mainly the last, as that’s where the money came from to produce this dreck. Max, who is the protagonist if not the lead, behaves nothing like a real teenager, but far worse than that, he does nothing that’s fun to watch. While he’s whiny and stupid, and responsible for the witches return by being an ass, seeing him bullied by poorly written stereotypes isn’t entertaining. Nor is it a blast to see him stuck with his younger sister, who manages the gargantuan feat of being even more unpleasant than Max.
But then the witches reappear, and things look bright again. The three actresses easily overpower the teen thespians; you don’t even notice they are still in the film when Midler is in overdrive, waiving her hands and bellowing, or Parker is dancing in circles. From time to time, the witches leave the screen, which signals you to go get a snack or hit the fast forward button.
Since this is a Disney film starring Bette Midler, there are a couple of songs. She belts out a rendition of I’ve Put a Spell on You that should have your youngest kids dancing about the living room while you tap your feet. However, the best musical moment belongs to Parker, who sweetly sings to the children, beckoning them to the witches’ den.
With proper editing, Hocus Pocus can become part of your Halloween tradition. And if you live alone…well…maybe you might want to catch the songs.