In the distant future, the powerful vampire Count Magnus Lee bites the lovely young Doris and plans to return to marry her. Doris asks for the help of a vampire hunter to destroy the count before she becomes one of the undead.
This is a standard, Japanese samurai movie with vampire trappings. If you’re not familiar with those, think spaghetti western. D is your cold, quiet, hero. He rides in, kills some bad-guys, and rides out. That’s pretty much all the plot you can expect. There’s some wandering about between the killing, and some talking as well, but little of it from D and most of it just filling up time.
As long as you’re not expecting much of a story, the plot will do, and the future world of vampires, werewolves, demons, gas monsters, and racist humans is engaging. But the skill wasn’t here to explore either the story or the setting. Both more money and a few animators who could draw would have helped. Often, the same cell is repeated. More often, the only movement will be the lips, giving it a silly Clutch Cargo look. When someone jumps (and they jump a lot), they stay perfectly still as a static background is rolled up or down. And while some of the character designs are acceptable (nothing’s really good), the Count’s vampire daughter looks like a reject from Speed Racer.
The fight scenes are particularly poorly constructed, consisting of a lot of jumping (remember, they are a hopping bunch) and grunting to a background of scratchy lines.
If you are hoping for an explanation of anything, look elsewhere. D has a demon in his hand. Why? What are its powers? Who knows. A hero with secrets is OK, but if one of the secrets is a talking hand that eats dirt (why does it eat dirt?), then a few more details are called for.
Minor, silly mistakes abound. These don’t ruin the film, but show that the filmmakers weren’t putting in the effort required. The Count wants to marry (marry? Not just jump her? This is a very moral vampire) a human because that’s a kick to him. But it is established that his bite will turn her into a vampire soon. So, ummmm, why does he want her? D states that a note is written in an ancient code only understandable by vampire hunters; as a vampire wrote it, shouldn’t that be an ancient code only understandable by vampire hunters and vampires? Oh, and if the vamps know it, I’d get a new code.
The target audience is revealed to be young teens (or possibly old men with a thing for young teens). There are a few, very brief, bare breasts (just enough to titillate a twelve-year-old). More significant is Doris, who is supposed to be an adult, but is drawn as if she’s thirteen. She also has a lot of trouble keeping her panties hidden. I can hear the youthful giggling in the theater even as I type.
The biggest problem is that no action has any meaning to the viewer. Stuff just happens. Exploding light balls and shiny rays pop up all the time and there is no way of knowing if these things are dangerous. None of it is defined. Most of the time they just cause the victim to grunt (if you like grunting, you’ll like this film). So there’s no real tension in combat. None of it means anything. The few times something is a threat, it can be undone. D dies, but it doesn’t matter. He gets up soon after. For the powers that D has, I can’t figure why this movie is eighty minutes. He could just walk in and kill everyone; it’d be over in five minutes.
And if all that doesn’t warn you away, let me leave you with a scrap of what passes for dialog. It’s all bad, but D’s shout to Count Lee earns a special place. “You and your kind should go back to the abyss…of oblivion!” Yeah, I hate that abyss of oblivion.