Little Ichiro is bullied by older kids, including one named Gabara. His escape is his dreams, where he sees himself chatting to Minya, the Son of Godzilla. (Pause: Think about that for a moment. The Son of Godzilla talks.) Minya is being beaten up by a monster who also happens to be named Gabara. By watching Godzilla defeat opponent after opponent, both Minya and Ichiro learn that violence is the answer to all life’s problems, which allows Ichiro to finally join a juvenile gang.
This is why I’m paid the big bucks: To suffer so you don’t have to. And Godzilla’s Revenge is all about suffering. Ichiro suffers from being picked on, and from being forced to wear inappropriately short daisy dukes. Minya suffers from having such a ridiculous looking bully as Gabara. Godzilla’s and director Ishirô Honda’s reputations suffer from their names being connected to this poorly conceived and executed failure. And of course the viewer suffers most of all. It does have go-go music. I haven’t decided if anyone suffers due to that. It’s just an odd fact.
Most of the runtime is spent with Ichiro whining or hiding or hanging out with a guy in an incredibly fake lizard suit. Occasionally, this is broken up by fight scenes lifted from earlier Godzilla films. Sure, Toho wasn’t supplying much of a budget, but a little subtlety with the reuse of clips would have been nice, particularly since Godzilla changes his appearance from film to film. It does, however, allow for a drinking game; take a shot whenever Godzilla gets a new look.
Godzilla’s Revenge was intended for children, so it isn’t damning that it is imbecilic for adults. But it is also inane for kids. In fact, it is worse for them since a child wants to be proud of his or her taste and this film makes Godzilla fans look like morons. It is embarrassing. I saw Godzilla’s Revenge first as a child, and was repulsed. And I still am. Perhaps I hate it slightly less now than I did thirty-five years ago, but there’s plenty of hate to go around. Only pick this up for your kids if you want them to hate Godzilla flicks.
It is also known as All Monsters Attack.