May 212017
  May 21, 2017

Yeah, I know. No one needed this any more than they needed my list of Top 10 Kate Bush songs. But here it is anyway. A few thoughts first.

I think of art rock—as opposed to the larger category of prog rock—as a fusion of styles. It is rock and classical, with a touch of jazz and folk. Nowhere is that more evident than with ELP. Yes and Genesis blended the styles together. ELP did not. They just whipped them down and said, “lets go.” They’d cover symphonic pieces, sometimes as driving rock tunes, but sometimes as straight classical music. They’d pause one form to start another before drifting into a third. Lake would sing a folky ballad and then Emerson would play a concerto. And then why not a jazz tune? Your expectations were of little importance, which is how it ought to be.

The name, Emerson, Lake & Palmer was fitting as this was never a group, but three separate artists. They didn’t play WITH each other, but AT each other. I kept waiting for them to kill each other. And the power of their music came from that competition. Each made the others stronger.

How you feel about art/prog rock is a little like how you feel about Dr Malcolm from Jurassic Park. Me, I hate that dude.

“…but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn’t stop to think if they should.”

I just wanted someone to say, “Malcolm, shut up.” Well, standard music critics, mainstream radio fans, and punk rockers were Malcolm, whining, “You musicians are skillful and talented enough to do all that stuff that I don’t understand, but you haven’t considered if you should.” Musically, the response from Genesis and Yes was, “Come on guys, we’re doing are own thing.” But ELP’s response was “Fuck off. We do want we want.” Every album (well, the first six) were clear, loud statements. There’s no shyness in ELP. They are giving the finger to the music establishment and wanted to make sure everyone knews it. Sometimes subtly is nice. Sometimes its dull. ELP had no conception of subtly.

The most self-assured of art rock bands died from trying to do too much. They reached the end of an artistic road, so set off with something new. But that something new didn’t go well with their perfectionism and touring. Emerson insisted they take an orchestra along and they all needed truck-loads of equipment if they were going to recreate their latest studio album. Even with 70,000 attendees, you can’t make money that way and everyone got pissed off. And that was that. They got back together from time to time over the years, but the edge was gone.

So starting with #12:
Continue reading »

May 172017
  May 17, 2017

No one asked for this, and I can’t think of why anyone would care, but I felt like it, so here you go.

Kate Bush is one of the great musical artists of the last ’50 years. She takes chances and when she gets it right, damn she’s good.

While she has a lot of good albums, I noticed my choices only covered a limited number. In some cases, their absence is because those albums are weaker (or were experiments that bore fruit later). In others, like for Aerial and 50 Words For Snow, it is because nothing stands above the rest. The albums are solid, but best listened to as a whole. Now it is also true that Hounds of Love is best listened to as a whole, being one of the greatest albums ever made, but its individual parts also rise above…most everything. So. starting at #10, my favs (after noting some honorable mentions of Wow, The Big Sky, Room For the Life, and This Woman’s Work):

 

#10 Cloudbursting

My first of multiple choices from Hounds of Love, Cloundbursting is a beautiful song of love of a son for his father, some strange science, and some nasty government action. It’s based on a true story, and the music video is pretty astounding too.


Continue reading »

Apr 142017
  April 14, 2017

F & F
I live by distraction. Those of you who know me know I’m about five minutes from cracking up at any time. So…distractions. It’s hard to get much done in those 4 min and 59 seconds, but it lets me survive. But good distractions are hard to come by. Most things don’t work But movie do (now, anyway), but not any movie. Not most movies. Dramas don’t for the most part. Comedies are iffy. But light action/adventure—that’s the ticket. But there aren’t that many and I know too many by heart. I needed some I hadn’t seen to get me through this week. And the trailers for the Fast & Furious 8 made me look into that franchise.

Eugie and I had watched the first and didn’t hate it, but didn’t think much of it either. But I gathered things changed with the 5th film when they gave up street racing (which is really dull) and took up international fantasy capers. So I tried the 5th, and yup, it was pretty much the perfect distraction. So was the 6th and 7th. Now I need about fifteen more, but hey, I was happy to find three.

And damn those are some stupid brilliant films. Scene after scene is stupid. Not a little stupid. Mind bogglingly stupid. I thought the Casino Royale car flip was the dumbest, physics defying thing I’d seen in a film pretending that things were possible—that was before I saw the bus flip over a car in F&F 5. Nothing makes sense and the rules of the world do not apply. Friction on a safe? Nah. Also inertia is non-functional. I like how if the car hit another car, it would slow them down, but if the thing they were dragging hit another car, that other car would be destroyed and they wouldn’t slow down. Cool. The Rock just breaks off his cast and picks up mini-gun. Yes…because that could happen. People just appear in places. And half their problems would go away if they slowed down (really, they are being shot at and all they’d have to do is break a bit and they’d be fine, but nope). Thing is, none of these things are problems. And that’s half the brilliance. Captain America: The Winter Soldier was really stupid, but it didn’t seem to be. (It was also a good film.) Everything moved so quickly and plausible-sounding explanations were tossed around so that while watching, it seems to make sense. F&F doesn’t do that. It goes to the other extreme. It revels in its stupidity. There is zero pretext. Why are there girls in bikinis? Because girls in bikinis are nice to look at. Why are there helicopters and drones in downtown L.A.? Because that’s cool. Why…  Yeah, let’s forget about “why.” No reason to specify the question because the explanation is always “because it looks good/cool.” The rest of the brilliance is with the characters. They are so childishly simple, but perfectly defined—and there are a lot of characters. And they talk a lot about family. A lot. So I knew exactly who everyone was—completely—and what they meant to everyone else. I stepped into F&F 5 barely remembering the characters (and most were new anyway) and I knew them all within a few minutes. Color coding helps: White guy, serious Black guy, funny Black guy, Latina, Asian guy, Jewish girl, ambiguous-race guy, Black-Samoan guy. I can’t even be annoyed at how they manipulated that as it scores so well on representation.

So each film is two hours of multi-ethnic characters wrapped tightly together as a family, doing absolutely impossible things and pointing to those things and yelling “see how cool that impossible thing was.” And apparently, that makes for a great distraction. I don’t think I’ll see the 8th in a theater—theaters are lonely now. But I’ll look for it on home video. And maybe I’ll try the 4th.

Mar 082017
  March 8, 2017

The best is fun (See Part 1). The worst is more fun. Here are the nominees for Worst in Science Fiction or Fantasy cinema in 2016:

 

Worst Science Fiction or Fantasy Film:

 

Worst Animated Science Fiction or Fantasy Film:

  • Batman: The Killing Joke
  • Kingsglaive: Final Fantasy XV
  • Moana

 

Worst Performance by an Actor:

  • Eddie Redmayne as Empty Character (Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them)
  • Henry Cavill as Grumpy Jesus Metaphor (Bats v Supes)
  • Jeff Goldblum as Jeff Goldblum (Independence Day: Resurgence)
  • Liam Hemsworth as Generic Hero (Independence Day: Resurgence)
  • Michael Shannon as Constipated Man (Midnight Special)

 

Worst Performance by an Actress:

  • Kate McKinnon as Person Doing Improv (Ghostbusters)
  • Katherine Waterston as Empty Air (Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them)
  • Marion Cotillard as Woman With Random Expressions (Assassin’s Creed)
  • Melissa McCarthy as Melissa McCathy (Ghostbusters)
  • [BLANK] Because there weren’t enough women in Genre films

 

Worst Supporting Performance by an Actor:

  • Gerard Butler as King of Sparta (Gods of Egypt)
  • Jai Courtney as Racist Stereotype (Suicide Squad)
  • Jesse Eisenberg as Jesse Eisenberg on Cocaine (Bats v Supes)
  • Johnny Depp as Whatever the Hell He Was (Alice Through the Looking Glass)
  • Tyler Perry as Guy In Wrong Film (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows)

 

Worst Supporting Performance by an Actress:

  • Amy Adams as Bland Damsel (Bats v Supes)
  • Charlize Theron as Whispering Person (The Huntsman: Winter’s War)
  • Kirsten Dunst as Cardboard (Midnight Special)
  • Sela Ward as Overly Dramatic President (Independence Day: Resurgence)
  • [BLANK] Because there weren’t enough women in Genre films

 

Worst Direction:

  • Dave Green (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows)
  • Denis Villeneuve (Arrival)
  • Jeff Nichols (Midnight Special)
  • Paul Feig (Ghostbusters)
  • Zack Snyder (Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice)

 

Worst Screenplay:

  • Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
  • The BFG
  • Midnight Special
  • Suicide Squad
  • X-Men: Apocalypse

 

Most Racist/Sexist:

  • Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice for Girl Fall Down
  • Doctor Strange for White-washing
  • Ghostbusters for Twisting the Narrative for Marketing
  • Gods of Egypt for “Egyptians? Ah, You Mean White People!”
  • The Huntsman: Winter War for “How Can We Get a Male Lead in Snow White?”
  • Suicide Squad for Racist Stereotype
  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows for Anti-Asian Racism and White/Turtle Power

 

Worst Screen Moment:

  • Bottle of Piss (Bats v Supes)
  • Emails (Bats v Supes)
  • “I’m Jimmy Olsen” (Bats v Supes – Extended Edition)
  • MARTHA! (Bats v Supes)
  • Recorded Fart (Ghostbusters)
  • Professor X Goes Bald (X-Men: Apocalypse)
  • Third Deadshot Introduction (Suicide Squad)

 

And that’s it. This year’s nominees. Did I get it right? Well, of course I did, but feel free to voice your opinion, particularly your agreement. And who/what will win? Who indeed. This much I can guarantee: no film will sweep.

 

* This is a completely unfair nomination as I haven’t seen the film. But I’ve seen both it’s predecessors and my life isn’t long enough to watch a third. Based on those, I’m betting it would be a contender in every category.

Mar 082017
  March 8, 2017

I’ve already commented on the failure of the Saturn Awards and the Academy Awards always fail. The Razzies were pretty good this year, but still missed a few things, so it’s time to do it right. I’ll call it the Mattys. For a start, the nominees in each category will be the correct ones (can’t figure why others keep missing that—if you don’t know which ones are the correct ones, you just ask me; it’s simple). Next, I do both a “Best” and “Worst” in the major categories. As already mentioned, the multiple categories of The Saturn Awards doom them, so I’m just having two general genre film categories. Because of that, the Best/Worst film categories have a larger nominee list. As for Best Editing/Costume Design/Make-Up Design/SFX, these are categories best awarded by experts in those fields. No one should ever give an editing award (in film or literature) except other editors. And I dropped music because nothing is interesting this year. So first for the best, the nominees are:

Best Science Fiction or Fantasy Film:

 

Best Animated Science Fiction or Fantasy:

 

Best Performance by an Actor:

  • Chris Evans as Steve Rogers (Captain America: Civil War)
  • Chris Pratt as Jim Preston (Passengers)
  • Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark (Captain America: Civil War)
  • Ryan Reynolds as Wade Wilson (Deadpool)

 

Best Performance by an Actress

  • Anya Taylor-Joy as Morgan (Morgan)
  • Kate Mara as Lee (Morgan)
  • Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn (Suicide Squad)
  • Samantha Robinson as Elaine (The Love Witch)
  • Sennia Nanua as Melanie (The Girl With All the Gifts)

 

Best Supporting Performance by an Actor:

  • Dan Fogler as Funny Sidekick (Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them)
  • Jared Leto as The Joker (Suicide Squad)
  • Karl Urban as Bones (Star Trek Beyond)
  • Paddy Considine as Sgt. Parks (The Girl With All the Gifts)
  • Paul Giamatti as Nasty Psychologist (Morgan)
  • Sebastian Stan as Bucky (Captain America: Civil War)

 

Best Supporting Performance by an Actress:

  • Alison Sudol as Best Thing in the Movie (Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them)
  • Elizabeth Olsen as Wanda (Captain America: Civil War)
  • Gemma Arterton as The Teacher (The Girl With All the Gifts)
  • Glenn Close as Heartless Doctor (The Girl With All the Gifts)
  • Morena Baccarin as Perfection (Deadpool)

 

The Ewan McGregor/Obi-Wan Kenobi Award for Not Embarrassing Yourself in a Bad Situation:

 

Best Direction:

  • Anna Biller (The Love Witch)
  • Anthony Russo, Joe Russo (Captain America: Civil War)
  • Colm McCarthy (The Girl With All The Gifts)
  • Morten Tyldum (Passengers)
  • Tim Miller (Deadpool)

 

Best Film Screenplay:

  • Captain America: Civil War
  • Deadpool
  • The Girl With All The Gifts
  • The Lobster
  • The Love Witch

 

Best Screen Moment:

  • The Airport Fight (Captain America: Civil War)
  • The Bargain (Doctor Strange)
  • Deaths (Rogue One)
  • One Less Hand (Deadpool)
  • Tracking Device (Star Trek Beyond)
  • The Tree (The Girl With All The Gifts)
  • Wade Meets Vanessa (Deadpool)
  • Why You Have Children (The Lobster)

The Worst of the year will be in the next post, so take a moment to digest these.

* Yeah, yeah, I know it wasn’t released to theaters. I’ll break my rules when I want.

Mar 062017
  March 6, 2017

As I run awards for the DC Film Festival and the Eugie Foster Memorial Award, as well as being tangled up with the Hugo mess in the past, I tend to take awards seriously. The Saturn nominees came out recently, and they’re hardly a guide toward the best in genre film. That is, being nominated this year is not much of an honor.  As I think a genre Film (and TV) award is a good idea, this saddens me (well, not all that sad…but it is unfortunate).

My first thought was that everyone involved in voting had rotten taste (no “Kubo and the Two Strings” Really?), and that could be true, but that isn’t the big problem. Structurally it simply isn’t going to honor the best–not in nominations anyway. And that has to do with the categories. For a start, there’s too many.

Let’s look at the “Best Comic-to-Motion Picture Release” category. That is going to open up some strange comparisons–“A History of Violence” doesn’t really fit with “Superman.” So, a Superhero category would work better. But that wouldn’t make much difference this year–nothing to pull out, and adding “Max Steel” to those that qualify is unlikely to change anything. The problem is too narrow a category with too many nominees. Sticking with American films, there are only seven wide-released “Comics to Motion Picture” films: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, Captain America: Civil War, Deadpool, Doctor Strange, Suicide Squad, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows, and X-Men: Apocalypse. All the nomination process did was eliminate one film: TMNT: Out of the Shadows. I’d have dumped “Bats v Supes” if ranking them all, but it is silly to argue it as neither should be there. Equally it is hard to justify Suicide Squad and X-Men on the list. A nominee list should not include almost everything out there. So either have a lot fewer nominees (three would do), or merge the category in with others. Any award is only as good as what it honors. If it honors trash, then the award is trash, and my forming a category that has to end up taking everything, it is going to end up honoring films that should not be honored.

Then there is Fantasy. There’s a reasonable number of fantasy film, so it is a workable category in theory. But the Saturn Awards has a separate Animation category that siphons off films. It has a separate science fiction category that gets Star Wars films (even though Lucas called the series fantasy). Comic book movies, like “Doctor Strange” are out of the running as well as Horror films, that also have a category. Basically, they yanked away every good film, leaving a category of weak, also-rans, including two on my worst of the year list: “Ghost Busters” and “The BFG.”

Generally I think sticking with the three main sub-genres of fantastical film (SF, Fantasy, and Horror) is a good idea, but OK, they wanted to expand a bit into action, but they are confused on their categories. The Saturn Awards has an Action/Adventure category and a Thriller category, and those two are going to butt heads (and butt into Horror as well). So not only do we again run into some of my worst of the year picks as nominees for best of the year, but we get some strange choices. “The Accountant” was a good action film, but here it is nominated as a Thriller. OK, but now I really need to know what those terms mean. More amusing is “Hidden Figures” as an Action film. You remember that scene where the mathematicians get in that shoot out.  Yeah, me neither. I understand wanting to recognize it, but they don’t have a category. Perhaps dumping both those categories and putting in a “Science-related” category would work out better. That would also allow for documentaries.

Like most Awards that have a popular vote (or semi-popular in this case), they don’t have the breadth of viewing to pull off the awards in general, but certainly not with so many categories. Where is “The Love Witch“? It has gotten great responses, but it pretty much just made the festival circuit, so probable these folks missed it. Where is “The Girl With All The Gifts“? Every review I’ve read of it (including my own) declares it as one of the best films of the year and one of the greatest zombie films ever. But it had a limited release, so the Saturn voters never saw it. “Kubo and the Two Strings” is unquestionably the finest animated film of the year, but it didn’t get the advertising budget that “Zootopia” did, so again, the Saturn voters missed it. These folks don’t know cinema well enough to be voting.

I tried my best to fix their voting, to put in what I’d nominate in there categories, but it just doesn’t work. My first attempt gave me:

Comics-to-Film

  • Captain America: Civil War
  • Deadpool
  • Doctor Strange

SF

  • The Girl With All The Gifts
  • Morgan
  • Passengers
  • Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
  • Star Trek Beyond

Fantasy

  • The Love Witch

Animated

  • Gantz: 0
  • Kubo and the Two Strings
  • Zootopia

And then I gave up, as I’m sticking in films that shouldn’t be nominated (Hello “Passengers“), even if they are the next best the field had to offer this year, and I can’t come up with the numbers with these categories. Fantasy comes up…sparse.

So The Saturn Awards were doomed before they even began voting. Too bad. Guess I’ll just have to do it myself.

Feb 272017
  February 27, 2017

Fi-M-Top10-DC-Comic-Films-480p30_480

With the most iconic comic book characters in their stable and a near stranglehold on pop culture heroes for decades, I’d expect DC comics to have a better success record with film. How hard can it be to take characters everyone loves, and wants to love, and bring them to life on the big screen? Apparently very hard.

DC has had some winners. The modern Superhero film is due to them. They did it right, and it changed film history. But then they did it wrong. And did it wrong again and again and again. For every Superman, there’s a pair of Schumacher Batman films and a Catwoman. When I ranked the X-Men films, I could say that a majority were good. When I ranked the Marvel Cinematic Universe, I could say that all of the films were worth your time and money. With DC…

If the best I can say about a film is that you shouldn’t put in an effort to avoid it, then things are looking pretty dark, and that’s as good a recommendation as I can give to two-thirds of these films. When I put Suicide Squad in the top third, this is not me singing the praises of Deadshot and his crew. It is a condemnation of Superman III and Batman Forever and Jonah Hex and Steel.

But it isn’t all bad, and sometimes you can have some fun with the failures. Come on, with the right crowd and a good deal of alcohol, Catwoman is a hoot.

This is a ranking of Superhero movies, so it doesn’t include other comic book properties like The Losers (which would not rank well) or RED (which would be up near the top). It also doesn’t include the DC Animated films–where DC does much better. I’ve already ranked those here. It does include 37 films, with two of them ranked twice due to different cuts. (Many of the others, including Batman V Superman, Suicide Squad, and Watchmen, have different versions, but while the changes were, in some cases, substantial, they didn’t alter the overall quality enough to warrant separate placement). This ranking has been updated several times.

 

#39: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

Some movies deserve a calm, reasoned examination. This isn’t one of those. This isn’t a movie. This is cultural desecration. If you love Superman, you’ll hate it. If you love hope, fun, joy, life, you’ll hate it. If you love old comics, new comics, superheroes, plots, sense, your brain, you’ll hate it. If, however, you are deep into emo-whining, then maybe this film is for you. It shouldn’t be, but maybe.

If you are hoping for anything from this bleak midwinter agony, it is that the dreariness, dullness, poor characterizations, and gaping plot holes are worth suffering through because BvS offers a true vision of life. Keep hoping. There is nothing realistic here. People do not act this way. They do not speak this way. They do not respond this way. Nothing human is on the screen.

Do I hate this film? No. As a film, it isn’t worth hating. As a piece of pop culture, yes, I hate it.
(Full Review)
Continue reading »

Jan 152017
  January 15, 2017

For my dumb, fun, movie of the night, I went with Transporter 2 from 2005. I had only seen the first, which was dumb and fun. And this one was dumb and fun. Jason Statham did his alpha manly man thing to the point that I was expecting to see pools of testosterone on the floor around him.

It could easily have been a better film. I could have improved the film massively with an hour and a red pen. But my guess is that the expected viewers for this kind of film don’t want it improved. The fights in the first half were exciting, but as we headed toward the climax, they just became too dumb to mean anything. Our hero against two tough guys and a lingerie-clad girl with automatic pistols? That’s cool. Our hero against twelve axe-wielding brutes with no place to duck? That’s just stupid. He would have died. Simple. It makes it far less exciting. But I’m guessing the fans of these flicks just think it is cooler with more. I’ve seen the same thing with old Shaw brothers martial arts films that get dumber and dumber as they go along until it is nothing but bodies moving on screen. Or anything with Chuck Norris. I don’t think the genre has to be bad, but maybe its biggest fans think it does.

It also had the recent James Bond film problem. Old Bond (Connery/Moore) could get away with certain things because it was part of the dance. It isn’t real. We know it isn’t real. And there are rules in the unreal world. It’s like a musical, where the rules say people can suddenly break into song. So in old Bond, villains could have elaborate ridiculous plans, as well as shark tanks, instead of just shooting Bond and being done with it. But now that Bond is supposed to be “gritty and realistic” that sort of thing doesn’t work so well (like, everything in Spectre). And so we have Transporter 2—not realistic by any means, but also not a faux-world Bond film. In the Transporter world, people do just kill people. All the time. Lots of them. Yet villains could have shot our hero four times—shot him dead—but didn’t. No reason. A lot of reasons why they should. But they didn’t. They instead held off to chat. Which is…dumb. Give me magical Bond spy world, I’m OK with it. But in kill-everything-that-moves Transporter land, our hero should be dead.

All of which means the problem isn’t really with films, it’s with audiences. There are far too many dim film-viewers. Classes would be nice. Thinking would be nicer, but that’s asking too much. So to get better films, we need a better class of audience. Maybe we can get The Transporter to eliminate some of the current group. Just a thought.

Jan 112017
  January 11, 2017

I’ve been doing the best genre film list thing for 2016, and I’ll keep to that as I haven’t seen enough outside the genre world to sum up all the work out there. But Love & Friendship has got to be high up on any full list, and slashes to bits most of those genre films.

love-and-friendship-2016Love and Friendship is a Jane Austin film. For those who don’t read or watch Austin (shame on you), she can be quite pointed. But her jabs tend to be done with a bit of affection. Society is dumb and the people in it shallow and silly, but society is beautiful as well and those shallow silly people have good hearts. Not so here. This is Austin with the gloves off and in full comedy mode.

What’s really fun is that we are completely on the side of the villain. Lady Susan (played wonderfully by Kate Beckinsale, returning to Austin after a fine 1996 turn as Emma–people forget what a fine actress she is, discounting her because of her action work in Underworld, and ignoring that she’s quite good in those films) is a manipulative, mastermind who is pathologically unable to see herself as anything but perfect. Most of those she twists about are fools, but a few rise above that, yet I wanted them to lose and Lady Susan to win. Her exact goals are foggy as key scenes are kept hidden from us–because Susan’s world is that of society; that is where she is mistress of all and so that is where we see her. That and reporting back to her confident who shares her outlook on life.

The plot twists here and there, particularly as so much is hidden, but the basics are simple enough: Lady Susan, a non-grieving widow currently lives by visiting wealthy friends and family. She’s looking for a bit of fun for herself, and a bit of money, and a match for her daughter. She’s just been tossed out of one house for her affair with the married master of the mansion, so heads over to her husband’s brother’s home. The wife hates her, and understands her, but is no equal. Lady Susan sets to work on those less clever and therein lies the story.

The film is ruthless with social custom, and more so toward those who control the status quo, while just being a lot of fun. Considering the failings of the world that the good people fit into so comfortably, perhaps Lady Susan is a heroine after all.
 

 

Dec 242016
  December 24, 2016

I tried to avoid Christmas again, but am failing, so oh well, I’ll dive into this: Xmas songs. Let’s face it, most rock Christmas songs are horrible. The covers of carols are universally rotten. No Bruce Springsteen cannot put it off. Traditional carols just don’t lend themselves to a rock makeover. A few artists have done great jobs, but they tend not to be playing rock: Welcome Christmas by Love Spirals Downwards is breathtaking while God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman by Loreena McKennitt is for my money the finest Christmas song ever recorded. But if we are talking rock, well, it only works when they write something new, and then it usually fails. But there’s been some successes, and I’ve got them, even if some are barely rock. There is a lot more anger and sadness in these songs than celebration, but then I guess anger and sadness is why we need celebrations. Here are the top ten original rock Xmas tunes.

Honorable mention to Merry Christmas (I Don’t Wanna Fight) just because it is a Xmas song by The Ramones, and another to Ring Out, Solstice Bells by Jethro Tull which isn’t technically a Christmas song.

 

#10 The Season’s Upon Us (Dropkick Murphys)

Feeling cynical? Here’s your song. Hate being with your relatives, and have good reason for that? Here you go.

Continue reading »

Oct 242016
  October 24, 2016

It’s Halloween-time, so time to look at horror film scores/theme songs. To keep this apples-to-apples, I’ll only be including original compositions (otherwise this list would include a lot of classical works, and as much as I love Swan Lake, that’s not what I’m looking for today). That means no Tubular Bells, the music that tricked millions into thinking The Exorcist was a good film.

I’m also am avoiding songs with lyrics as that feels like a different list, so no Cry Little Sister from The Lost Boys or Willow’s Song from The Wicker Man (if The Wicker Man is a horror film).

First, a few Honorable mentions. There are some great themes that sound a bit too much like ones that I’ve chosen for my list, so I’ll just give honorable mentions to all of John Carpenter’s work that isn’t on my list, multiple themes by Goblin, and the Re-Animator Theme. I’m also giving honorable mentions to a few songs that don’t quite make it on my list on their own, but really fit their films: The Lullaby from Rosemary’s Baby, and The Omen Theme.

So, to the scores/themes, starting with:

 

#13 The Werewolf of London (Karl Hajos)

The also-ran of early Universal monster films, The Werewolf of London had a distinctive score that adds greatly to the work. Written primarily by Karl Hajos, it also contains cues from Heinz Roemheld’s scores for The Invisible Man and The Black Cat; borrowing was very common for studio music departments for the next twenty years. This music is hard to find and I’m unaware of any official release.

 

#12 Resident Evil (Marco Beltrami & Marilyn Manson)

The basic repeated theme is memorable (I used it as my ring tone for several years) but the addition of Marilyn Manson as co-composer created an unsettling sound that elevated the theme and the movie to something sinister.

Continue reading »

Oct 072016
  October 7, 2016
3,5 reels

startrek2

Star Trek is a cultural phenomenon, with five, soon to be six, TV series, more than a hundred books, plus an uncountable number of collectables. Considering that, and the quality of many of the Original Series episodes, the films often fail to raise to the level of their history. But there are some gems in the sand.

Now with the third J.J. Abrams-verse film out, it is time to rank the Star Trek movies, and give them all a quick critique in the process.

There are three groupings: The 6 Original Series films that use the cast from the first TV show, the 3 (or 4 depending on how you count Generations), Next Generation films, and the 3 Abrams reboot films.

Star-Trek-Original-CrewGenerally I find the Original Series movies work better than what followed. Partly that is due to the greater intent. When Star Trek The Motion Picture was produced, it was meant to be an epic film, taking the TV show as a starting place and expanding it to something much more. That didn’t work out as hoped, so the films that followed contracted, being less and less, but sometimes being the better for it. Still, there was generally the attempt to do something special in those first films. While little changed in the long run for the crew of the Enterprise, it felt like things could. And hidden in it all was meaning. The heart of Star Trek, the message, was there.

As the Original Series films seemed less and less like movies and more like television episodes with a larger budget as they went along, the Next Generation movies never had even the pretext of being anything more than big TV episodes, where “big” means “loud.” Watch them at a theater? Sure, but home viewing is just as good, right after rewatching a few seasons of the show. We know from the start that nothing will change, nothing will progress. Things will happen, but nothing that really matters. But since there is a larger budget, that nothing will happen with a lot more action. Shooting phasers will be more important than plot—a step toward what Abrams would later do. As Data was a fan favorite, the films become the Data and Picard show, leaving almost nothing for other characters to do. This is most noticeable with Worf, Star-Trek-Nxt-Genwho not only is irrelevant to the movies, but is brought onto the Enterprise in awkward and unbelievable ways because the character was on the Deep Space 9 TV show.

The J.J. Abrams reboots are barely Star Trek, and not even science fiction. The heart is gone. The thoughtful (and sometimes not so thoughtful) political and social messages—the dream of a future better than now and the hope that humanity can rise above its current squabbles—are all gone. And he continued the move into action films. It’s all about the phasers, the running, and the explosions. His films are just big, loud, colorful adventure movies, with a sci-fi overlay for color. They are empty. But, a lot of movies are empty, and he can make a pretty exciting and attractive popcorn film. The failure in his films is in imagination, not in presentation. Star Trek has been mishandled—in different ways—far worse.

For the most part, my ranking won’t be a surprise. I’ve seen many other rankings by critics and fans and there is vague agreement. Three of the original series films are always toward the top (with one almost always taking the top spot). The first Abrams film fits somewhere closely after those, and then the Next Gen ones slot in, with Nemesis, Generations, and Star Trek V filling in the lower slots. The only big movers are Into Darkness (which some people hate while others merely don’t think much of it), Insurrection (which is pretty much in the same boat, but with less hatred directed at it), and Star Trek I (which everyone agrees is too slow, but for some, that is mitigated by its greater theme and scope). I suspect I’ll only get flack over my placement of First Contact.

 

#13 Star Trek: Generations one reel

Captain Kirk is pulled into a giant space-time ribbon so that he can later meet Captain Picard. There’s also some things about a mad scientist and grumpy Klingons, but they don’t matter.

Call it, Fan Service, The Motion Picture. The plot, what there is of it, is based on who signed a contract (Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley, and George Takei did not or in the first case, was not allowed to) and getting Kirk and Picard to meet. This isn’t story telling. It’s an hour and a half of goofing around with pop characters and trusting that fans will think it is cool.

It is not cool.

After an opening that lets us know that Kirk is old, again (haven’t we done this—and then redone it—enough?), we get a second opening, set in the holodeck, to introduce us to the Next Gen cast, which is supposed to be funny, but isn’t. Data asks why watching someone fall into freezing water is amusing. I ask why watching people watch someone falling into freezing water is supposed to be amusing.

This film’s version of character development is Data doing a bad comedy routine as his emotion chip is activated, and Picard throwing a fit because the writers had no idea how grief works.

OK, that’s more analysis than Generations requires. This film is a mess. It is mainly remembered for the drab, pointless death of Captain Kirk. He’d had a better sendoff in Star Trek VI.
Continue reading »