Jul 052016
 
two reels

Moana (Auli’i Cravalho), yet another Disney self-doubting teen needing to become who she really is, is chosen by the sea to find the demigod Maui (Dwayne Johnson) who long ago stole the heart of a goddess and cursed the world. Together they must return the heart, but first they have to whine a lot and dwell on how they just aren’t good enough.

Apparently setting the story in ancient Polynesia was all the originally the folks at Disney thought they could afford, so the rest is constructed from previous films, and in every way it is less. They sing generic pop-lite, and I wished for the worst song from Aladdin. Moana argues with the overly controlling father, and I wished for King Triton’s fit in The Little Mermaid. It’s all been done, and done better.

The characters are simple and overly familiar. Moana is particularly annoying. Yes, she’s a teenage girl. Yes, her parents want her to be one way and she wants to be another but she isn’t certain of herself. Yes. Got it. Got it ten films ago. I said everything is less, but that’s not true; there’s a lot more whining. And she’s joined by Maui who is over a thousand freaking years old, but still whines and still must find himself. I learned to hate the two of them. Is there a reason why they have to dwell on their own shortcoming in the middle of a storm, or a battle? Shouldn’t they be busy…sailing or fighting. It gets old.

The computer animation is fine, but nothing special, which is the case with anything that isn’t aggravating. There’s no good to make up for the bad, just a lot of mediocre. I’d give it a One Reel-skip it rating, but the last quarter picks up enough that Moana is OK to catch on TV for free, as long as you don’t pay too much attention.

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