The War of the Planets (1966)

The continuing adventures of space station Gamma 1, Commander Mike Halstead (Tony Russel), his sidekick, Jack (Franco Nero), and his spirited girl, Connie (Lisa Gastoni). In this second movie, alien light clouds are taking over Earth’s space stations, and it is up to our plucky heroes to save the day.

Ah, things are still groovy in the future as painted by this Italian space opera, one of four made simultaneously by genre director Antonio Margheriti, but the swinging sixties aren’t swinging enough this time around. Except for a bizarre New Year’s party where drunken spacemen make pyramids and swing back and forth on long strings, the go-go boots and mod lifestyle are missing in this outing. Instead, we get green-lit smoke. Yes, the universe is in danger from lime colored mist. But don’t worry, the future Space Command is ready to talk and talk and talk about it. They are also prepared to shoot at it with little blow torches that they seem to think are lasers. Hint to all future heroes: shooting at fog doesn’t work. Try it yourself.

The plot holes are as huge as in the other episodes, and the characters continue to be nonsensical, but in The War of the Planets, the absurdity doesn’t illicit any laughs.  Russel over-emotes at every opportunity, but it is more likely while complaining than while shooting-it-out with bad guys. None of the other actors are any better, and the sets and effects are a joke, just not a funny one.

With no budget and little talent, a fast pace and light silliness is essential, but that’s not what is available.  The War of the Planets trudges along and actually takes itself seriously.

There’s some amusement to be found in the ridiculous dialog, such as when the scientist advises that, “It’s zero to the tenth power.” Hummmm. Wouldn’t that be…zero?  Better still, while discovering the bodies on a recently attacked space station, the captain radios to base repeating that everyone is dead and finishing with, “Dead. Dead. Dead like statues. All dead.” Which is followed immediately by a crewman’s comment of “Hey Skipper, come here; I think she’s alive.”

The other films in the series are Wild, Wild Planet, War Between the Planets, and The Snow Devils. The producers made The Green Slime in Japan, which has the same feel as these films and takes place on a station named Gamma 3.