Oct 112000
 
one reel

The vicious, corporately-governed Pychlos rule Earth and are stripping it of its resources. The few remaining humans are either slaves or live in primitive tribal groups. Security Chief Terl (John Travolta) concocts a plan to use the “man-animals” for secret mining to enrich himself, but he is not prepared for Jonnie Goodboy Tyler (Barry Pepper), who will not break and dreams of leading the humans in a revolution.

Do I need to rip apart Battlefield Earth? Is there someone out there saying to himself, “Hey, I bet that Battlefield Earth could be interesting”? Has any critic, ever, remarked that this was a good use of celluloid? However, Battlefield Earth is occasionally called the worst film ever made, and that is a massive overstatement.  Anyone who says that has simply missed a huge number of low budget, direct-to-video releases. There are hundreds of films that have a more ridiculous plot, poorer acting, worse special effects, and lower production values. But most of those are made for under $100,000 and worked on by free labor and untried directors. What puts Battlefield Earth in a special category is that it’s a big budget studio picture with all the advantages of having paid professionals. I’d have thought that those skilled workman would have caught some of the problems since Battlefield Earth fails in almost every way.

When I watch it, it isn’t the mind bogglingly stupid plot and factual errors that make me want to turn it off.  Yes, it suggests humans can learn to fly thousand-year-old, perfectly preserved fighter planes in a week, and that there’s still fuel for them, but then Star Wars had huge audible explosions in space.  Nor does the pathetic acting pull it so far down. Yes, Travolta is terrible (but no worse than he was in Saturday Night Fever—really, don’t take it from your rose-colored memory, re-watch it) and Pepper is so generic I wouldn’t be able to pick him out of a lineup five minutes after the film ends. However, if I compare them to Hayden Christensen in Attack of the Clones, Travolta comes out on top and Pepper’s forgettable nature becomes an asset.

Battlefield Earth’s most destructive flaws all come from Roger Christian, the worst director to get a regular paycheck. He gives the film its ugly, indistinct look. He chose to shoot long shots when any competent director would know to go close.  He keeps the camera still when it should move, and moves it when it should be still. Christian must have watched other films and noticed that the camera sometimes tilts, but he didn’t know why. I guess he never asked, as he too tilts his camera, but in a random manner that suggests a loose screw on the tripod or a drunken cinematographer. Then there are the slow motion shots. Talented directors have made huge mistakes with slow motion, so it’s no surprise that Christian is confused on how to use it. Maybe they were accidental shots; he might have bumped the camera from time to time and changed the speed. It makes as much sense as suggesting the end result was done on purpose.  Nothing could have made this a good film, but mild competence with the equipment and a few 100 level film school classes would have made it tolerable.

I would feel remiss if I didn’t mention the boots. The brilliant costuming trick used to make the Pychlos taller than humans is 1970s pimp boots.  That alone makes this a better film than The Village as nothing in that film made me laugh.

I even laughed at one scripted joke. When Terl refuses to write “shot by man-animal” on a report without seeing it actually happen, he has a gun handed to the human, who shoots another Pychlo. With a shrug, Terl says “I’ll be damned.” It’s not much of a joke, but were you expecting better?

Battlefield Earth is a poor excuse for a film, but it is not even the worst film in budgeted Sci-Fi.  Christians can always point to Contact, Enemy Mine, and Lawnmower Man 2 as proof that others have sinned against the gods of film more than he.