Joey Evans (Frank Sinatra), a low-rent lounge singer and lady killer recently kicked out of town for playing with the mayor’s underaged daughter, connives his way into a nightclub gig. After working his way through the chorus line, he hits on Linda English (Kim Novak), the “nice girl” who is resistant to his charms. He also chases a rich widow, Vera Simpson (Rita Hayworth). Joey becomes her kept man, but is torn between his own instincts and the two women.
A musical rises or falls on its music, but it’s nice if it has something else going for it. Pal Joey gets the music right, practically defining the American standard as well as the torch song (well, defining it after the fact). Just My Funny Valentine would have been enough, or I Could Write A Book, but Pal Joey adds The Lady is a Tramp and trumps them all with Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered. It doesn’t even matter that they weren’t all in the Broadway show, or that they’ve been performed better (though the Hayworth lip-synched Bewitched sends chills up my spine); when the tunes are good, it’s hard to find anything to complain about.
But away from the music, things aren’t so good. Pal Joey was a racy show, by ’50s standards, so the powers that be sanitized it for your protection, and simplified it at the same time. Joey’s a cad, but an acceptable cad for the pre-Leave it to Beaver generation. He has the complexity of a wet paper towel, which works out well, because that’s exactly how much personality Linda has. Vera doesn’t even have a character. She’s a walking plot point. The situation is rife with tension, depth, and fascinating character development, but none of that makes it to the screen. Joey’s not a charming scumbag; he’s quaint. Linda isn’t an innocent in jeopardy of losing herself; she’s a cute blonde who hangs around. And Vera? She’s just Rita Hayworth in a bad role.
’50s morality rears it’s ugly head when Joey puts a stop to a rehearsal of Linda’s striptease number. You see, that’s how we know its true love. No ’50s-era cinematic man would stand for a hot chick that he likes acting sexy. Had Novak actually stripped, then we’d have had a movie. As for the faux drunk scene (wow, girls pass out rather suddenly) and the bizarre teamwork to produce a happy ending, those aren’t of any particular decade, but they sure do stink up the joint.
With forgettable dialog, awkward pacing, little in the way of dancing, a drab and predictable story, and poor acting of poorer parts, all that’s here is the music. If this was the only way to hear it, I’d be stuck recommending Pal Joey. But it’s not. It will take a little work to put together the best renditions of the tunes, but a that’s a better use of your time than spending an evening with this flick. The Broadway cast recordings of Pal Joey and Babes in Arms (that’s the source for several songs) are a good place to start. Both Julie London and Sinead O’connor (yup, that Sinead O’connor) have nice versions of Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered and Michelle Pfeiffer nails My Funny Valentine in The Fabulous Baker Boys. Invite over the sexiest girl you know, toss some wood into the fireplace, poor some wine, play the songs of Pal Joey in the background, and never give another thought to the movie.