Horror film-loving priest, Seamus (Paul Morris), falls in love with Heather (Jennifer Huss), a stripper that works at a club that’s filled with vampires (Jenny Wallace, Amber Newman, Stacey Sparks). As the vampires remove their tops, Seamus must come to grips with his feelings and fears that Heather could become one of the undead.
I’m perfectly happy with the concept of a vampire stripper movie. There are sexy vampires, and they take their cloths off. Hey, that sounds pretty good.
But the funny thing about making a film, is that someone needs to have some skill. Hopefully the director is the one with cinematic training, but at least the key grip knowing his job would help. No one working on Vamps: Deadly Dreamgirls knows how to make a film. I’m not talking about artistic talent; I mean the minimal mechanical skills needed to turn on and off a camera.
Come on guys, if you were going to invest money into making a movie (not that a lot was “invested” here) couldn’t you splurge on a Camera 101 class at the local community college? They might explain that cameras can move, both left and right and up and down. And perhaps they could have pointed out that there are benefits to lighting a scene. Better yet, a local filmmaking collective might have hosted a workshop on sound recording. That would have helped. There, they could have explained that the volume in a film should not rise and fall at random moments, and that muffled sound is a bad thing. Sure, you might expect people to already know that, but the existence of Vamps: Deadly Dreamgirls proves otherwise.
I feel sorry for everyone involved in this film. It displays a lot of heart, but the results are what you’d expect from grammar school kids who decide to put on a show. Well, grammar school kids who like to expose their breasts. Heart isn’t enough, fellows. Film schools exist. Go find one. The acting is unskilled as well, but if your film is about breasts, the acting can be weak.
It isn’t hard to find films starring breasts, ones where the set doesn’t appear to be six feet wide, and you don’t have to clutch a remote to constantly adjust the volume. Get one of those instead.