Oct 042016
  October 4, 2016

Back now from Contraflow in New Orleansā€”a three day mostly-literary convention.

New Orleans is a bit of a drive, but I only went as far as Alabama where I was given a lift the rest of the way. That is a much better way to travel as we had quite the spirited conversation in the van on lit and science and a bit on politicsā€”but lit and science are always better.

Contraflow was (and no doubt will be) a really well run and pleasant little con. It didnā€™t have that normal small-con feeling that at times no one is around. It was always busy with fans everywhere and something of interest happening at all times. Ben Bova was the guest of honor, yet somehow I ended up missing all of his panels. There was an art show, video room, gaming room, con suite, venders room, signing tablesā€”all the norms, but it all seemed to function a bit better than normal.

I was on four film panels. Two dealt with fan films and were a good time, though the first was sparsely attended. The second focused on legality and the future which I think was of more interest to people (plus I shared the panel with a lawyer). I also did one, on my own, of the most important science fiction films. I had assumed this one wouldnā€™t have much of an audience but I had a good and attentive crowd and it was my favorite panel to be on of the weekend. I dug into the films that changed cinema and literature and apparently came up with quite a bit that others were not familiar with. Finally I was on a panel on film narrative. With such a general subject I didnā€™t expect weā€™d do much with it, but it became a very interesting discussion and again, had a good audience.

I attended what panels I could, including a few on fandom and one on the future of comics and another on the DC cinematic universe. The consensus, which matched my own, was that DC is a mess. Panels that I enjoyed the most were not on lit or pop culture but on science. Theyā€™d pulled in several NASA scientists who were fascinating. The panel on colonizing Mars was solid but I was really captured by the exo-planet panel. Being behind a bit, I hadnā€™t realized just how many planets have been discovered around other stars in the tiny area we have so far searched. Great stuff.

I spent some time hanging with friendsā€”one of whom had brilliantly made the plaque and pins for the Eugie Awardā€”which is always the thing to do. The artist was kind enough to put me up for the night. Yay! I was also introduced to Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day which is a fantastic film I somehow had missed. I highly recommend it. Really, As in, if you havenā€™t seen it, go do so now.

Sep 282016
  September 28, 2016

An exceptionally poor “greatest horror of the ’80s” list that made its way around Facebook inspired me to make a correct listing. So here is the list of the best of ’80s cinematic horror. The lowest ten or so are a bit rough but once you hit the halfway point everything is gold.

 

#50. Warlock (1989)

Not much in horror or story, but Julian Sands is outstanding as an escaped warlock from the past and Lori Singer is respectable as the girl whose house he drops into.

 

#49. Critters (1986)

Very uneven, but still the best of the killer hand-puppet films (unless you count Gremlins as a killer hand-puppet film).

 

#48. The Entity (1986)

Thought of as shocking at the time with its story of a woman being repeatedly raped by an invisible entity, it excels in Barbara Hershey’s performance and lags behind with some unnecessary characters and poor pacing.

 

#47. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

The cleverest of the slasher films suffers from horrible acting and directing, but the supernatural element is fun.

 

#46. Bad Taste (1987)

Itā€™s hard to imagine that this comedy gore-fest was the starting place of Peter Jackson. Thereā€™s nothing to think about, but it is D-level fun.

 

#45. Cannibal Holocaust (1980)

I canā€™t say this film is good or enjoyable, but it is interesting. It is also foul. Itā€™s all blood, decapitation, rape, and pain, with real animal killings tossed in for effect.

 

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Sep 132016
  September 13, 2016

Keeping the Conversation Going With L. Jagi Lamplighter (Having only written her nameā€”usually with FB filling it inā€”I really need to ask L. Jagi Lamplighter what I should call her that involves fewer names.)

Ms Lamplighter attempts to answer what Sad and Rabid pups are objecting to (The Bifrost Between Calico and Gingham). Her answer is different than I would give. Well, Iā€™ll go further than different. She gives an answer that is right for her, but I think has very little to do with the Pups in practice. In specific, I think she shifts what it is that is poking them in the eye, and that is an essential element to the entire discussion. On top of that, she looks at the Pups as engaging in an artistic-political disagreement as opposed to a political-regressive one.

And I donā€™t think we can do that. Ken Burnside, a firm Pup by my standards and one of the Pupsā€™ 2015 nominees, put it well in his after-Hugo essay, which was mainly pro-Pup, when he pointed out that the basis of the Sad Pups was undermined by Bradā€™s first post for SP3, when he cut away from talking about good, exciting stories like the ones that used to win, and began talking about a culture war and ā€œvictim class check box fiction.ā€ That is, this has little to do with taste and a whole lot to do with misplaced anger.

Iā€™ve seen this play out as rank and file Pups (major Pups avoid specifics) will exclaim their hatred from stories that by the Pup early standards, and by Ms Lamplighterā€™s explanation, they should love, and seen them love stories that likewise they should hate simply because the author was on the ā€œrightā€ side.

If Brad (and Larry before him) hadnā€™t gone full-on ā€œthe enemy is all around usā€ then we would be having a very different conversation, like what Ms Lamplighter suggests. It would be a very ā€˜60s conversation, but it would be different, and preferable.

But OK, let me for a moment take her path, and pretend that this fight is about artistic and entertainment preferences. She uses as an example ā€œCat Pictures Please,ā€ but I am afraid that is a bad example. Yes, it won the Hugo, but not as the best short story of 2016, but as the ONLY short story of 2016. Publically many Pups will declare the last few years of Hugo nominations were reasonable and non-Pups will declare that the end votes were reasonable, but privately Iā€™ve seldom heard that. I would be surprised if many people are fooling themselves. The noms have been totally about the Pups winning and the final vote has been about stopping them winning. Quality has been meaningless for at least two years.

The Pups left only one legitimate nom: ā€œCat Pictures Please.ā€ Iā€™d suggest using as an example, ā€œHungry Daughters of Starving Mothersā€ by Alyssa Wong as it won the Nebula award (which has managed to avoid Puppy juggling) and it would have made the Hugo ballot had Vox, with some help from the Sads, not kept it off in favor of ā€œSpace Raptor Butt Invasion.ā€

Besides it winning an unmarred award, Iā€™d suggest that switch because ā€œCat Pictures Pleaseā€ is a bit too clear on its theme and thus an outlier. It was not a favorite of mine for that reason, and it does bring politics to the front. Not that I cannot jump into less-than-subtle works. ā€œHarrison Bergeronā€ is nothing but screaming social politics and it is a favorite of mine (that includes me liking its theme). I doubt if there has ever been a heavier dose of message fic than ā€œHarrison Bergeron.ā€ Really, it is all sledgehammer.

ā€œHungry Daughters of Starving Mothersā€ on the other hand, is more subtle. Not exactly secretive, but it carries no hammer. And yes, I would discuss it with ā€œScanners Live In Vainā€ or ā€œFlowers For Algernonā€ or ā€œNine billion names of God.ā€

Now ā€œHungry Daughtersā€ has a gay main character. Well, I assume she is gay. Maybe she isnā€™t. She certainly is so symbolically. And the story, the theme, is one that speaks to homosexual individuals. It also speaks to anyone in a marginalized group. And it does a pretty good job of speaking to everyone, assuming you are willing to listen. If you are not a careful reader, however, it can still work for you as a cool horror story about a girl who feeds on the troubling thoughts of others. Its message shouldnā€™t poke anyone in the eye unless the mere existence of anyone who might be gay is a poke in the eye (and if that is the caseā€¦well, I believe that is exactly the case, but letā€™s hold on that for a moment.)

ā€œHungry Daughtersā€ is also beautifully written, far better than many of those stories of old that Pups love to praise. The Golden Age of Science Fiction was not exactly the Golden Age of Excellent Writing.

Now Ms Lamplighter takes the Pups at their word (ignoring all those words about enemies and how we have to defeat the secret cabal against us)ā€”their literary word. That they just want good stories, but that good stories include awesome science fiction concepts.

Pups, according to her, are willing to put up with a lot for awesome science fiction concepts, but donā€™t like getting poked in the eye, same as non-Pups. Strong politics that disagree with oneā€™s world view is a poke in the eye.

And I agree with that. Though it does make for some pretty delicate readers, both Pup and non-Pup. After all, I am a fan of The Weapon Shops books while I find their theme as dumb as a box of rocks. (So yes, I want my kudos now. Though I much preferred ā€œThe Seesawā€ to either novel. I find van Vogt a fantastic short story writer, but only a so-so novelist.) But if there is one truth to The Pup Mess, it is that most everyone is extremely sensitive and easily offended. Iā€™ve found the Pups to be extraordinarily easy to offend, but I fear they are correct in asserting that those they oppose are quite easy as well.

So, poking in the eye is bad. Stories that counter oneā€™s world view are a poke in the eye. Yup. I buy that. I think Ms Lamplighter is correct. It is sad, but still, I think she is correct.

Here is where we divide, at least in part, and what I find fundamental: What is a poke in the eye? She states it has nothing to do with racism or homophobia, but is a matter of things agreeing or disagreeing with ones world view. Yes, but I think we should not take racism or homophobia or sexism, etc, off the table, as those are the world views that are behind much of this. Yes, ā€œAbortion is a womanā€™s choiceā€ could be in there (though for the life of me I canā€™t think of any abortion spec fic storiesā€”and no, finding one or two does not make a difference).

For the Pups, a whole lot of things poke them in the eye. It isnā€™t themes that promote other world views (well, it is, but thatā€™s a small part), but simply being reminded that reality isnā€™t as they insist it is.

ā€œGays are great,ā€ is a theme, but Pups more often object not to that, but rather to, ā€œGays exist.ā€ To so many Pups, if a story has a few Black characters, then the story is about being Black, which is hammering diversity at them, which is a poke in the eye. To a Black author, having Black characters is pretty normalā€”to life though not literatureā€”but to Pups it is weird. Same as gay characters. Same as Asian characters.

No, Pups donā€™t think: ā€œBlacks are bad. I donā€™t like them. Donā€™t put them in stories because I donā€™t like them.ā€ It is more built in to that world view. Old stories from the Golden Age donā€™t mention Black characters, so when they see any, it stands out, and thatā€™s oddā€”it doesnā€™t fit. (And that, by the way, is the racism normally discussed about the Pups, not anything about disliking a race or racial superiority, but simply sticking with what they assume is a status quo, which they donā€™t even realize is a White status quo.)

Pups often talk about the glories of the Golden Age, of Campbellian SF and the pulp fic that came before that. Of those space stories with rocket ships and ray guns. But those stories, all of them, were White Americans in space. Every single one. Thatā€™s all we were fed. Some are good. Some are bad. But they all have the same perspective. They are all written with the same outlook, and more often than not, with the same style. Even as we get later, it is still the same. I love Dune, but for all its nobles and flashy tech, it is White Americans in space. (In that case, overwhelmingly so as thatā€™s the theme.) Much of my artistic problem with Pup-recommended stories is that they have no voice, or more accurately, they have the same voice. With a few exceptions (such as John C. Wright) all those stories could have been written by the same person. They feel the same. The sentences are the same. The world is the same. Itā€™s copies of copies and I canā€™t for the life of me figure out why Iā€™d want to read a second rate copy of Heinlein when I can just read Heinlein.

Much of the history of science fiction is one voice, with one perspective, saying the same thing in the same way.

And to the Pups, this is normal. They copy it. They study it. They eulogize it. This same world view. ā€œIt isnā€™t,ā€ they say, ā€œWhite America because it is in space far beyond Caucasians and the USA.ā€ They donā€™t even see it. They donā€™t notice all thatā€™s changed are a few bits of background. They miss that it is the same old White guys because thatā€™s what they are used to seeing. Thatā€™s what they expect. Thatā€™s whatā€™s normal.

And if it is normal, then anything else is abnormal.

So if the bridge of a ship is filled with Asian women, then that isnā€™t diverse fiction, but it is fiction about diversity. It must be making a point about Asians and women and thatā€™s poking me in the eye. If on an alien planet the culture has gay males, then that isnā€™t diverse, but again, must be making a point about diversity and poking me in the eye. The person who drains the dark thoughts of others is a woman, an Asian, and seemingly homosexualā€”thatā€™s poking me in the eye.

Reality pokes them in the eye. They want a past that never was, of White Americans in space as written by Heinlein and Asimov and Herbert. But new authors donā€™t have the same background. They write from their own background, and the mere existence of that pokes Pups in the eye. And some White male authors now acknowledge that the world is more than White Americans in space, and that pokes Pups in the eye. And the very occasional non-White, or less often, non-American, in a Pup story does more to demonstrate this than contradict it. (Though truthfully, Iā€™ve never seen a character without an American point of view in a Pup story.)

I had this discussion with Brad, and he was utter incapable of seeing the difference between spec fic becoming more diverse, and stories having the theme of diversity. Sure, some stories do have a theme of diversity (and sadly, that seems to poke Pups in the eye), but many more just are about a larger world, and Pups donā€™t want to see that world.

Of course this makes it seem that all the sore eyes are on the Pup side. One thing I have to give to the Pups, when it comes to message fiction, no one does it louder. The Pups talk as if what they love are meaningless exciting tales of engineers in space solving tricky SF puzzles, and Ms Lamplighter assumes the same with her comment on ā€œthe science fiction is so awesome.ā€

But that isnā€™t what Pups write. They write politics. They write messages fic. Generally they write slow message fic. Brad writes about a man dwelling on the need for religion. Sure, thereā€™s a battle around him, but thatā€™s secondary. The point is the need for religion. John C. Wright and Vox also fill their stories with religious themes. Tom Kratman is just a huge mass of right wing political messages. Steven Diamond: message fic. Steve Rzasa: message fic. Lou Antonelli: message fic. Larry advertises his story based on message (ā€œI made FDR the bad guy and that will drive libtards crazy?”) Now it turns out, I am fine with message fiction. I like it a bit more subtle generally, but since fiction is pointless without a message, Iā€™m glad the Pups in truth are big time message writers.

So it isnā€™t that the Pups care so much about awesome SF ideas, but simply they donā€™t like getting poked in the eye and are happy to poke others in the eye with the messages which are the heart of their fiction. Thatā€™s fair. I have no problem with that. It is just that awesome SF means no more, and no less, to Pups than to non-Pups. This is about message, and the Pups like their messages, which, as I said, is fair. (Taking over an award and causing a huge fight in fandom because they like their message better–that’s not so fair.)

So, ignoring ā€œwe must defeat our enemiesā€ and ā€œawesome SFā€ I agree with Ms Lamplighter. People donā€™t like being poked in the eye, so Pups donā€™t like being poked in the eye.

So now what?

As Iā€™ve said before, now nothing. But Iā€™ll pretend that there is a solution. What, besides people being less sensitive? Iā€™ll grant non-Pups could use some work in that area. A lot of work. As for Pups, they are sensitive not only to other themes of other world views, but of reality, of any change, and of the existence of other people.

There is a kind of answer: read.

Non-Pups, at least of the type that discuss SF in geekish glee donā€™t have homework do to, because weā€™ve read the Pupsā€™ world view. If you talk SF with even minor authority, then youā€™ve read their world. Iā€™ve read Anderson, Asimov, Blish, Brown, Card, Herbert, Heinlein, Pohl, Simak, Sturgeon, van Vogt. Iā€™ve read a whole lot more. I know their world. Iā€™ve done my homework. They havenā€™t done theirs.

The Pups need to expand out from that. They need to read not a few stories that pop up on nomination ballots, but hundreds of things that are not the same old thing, till the same old thing stops being the definition of normal. And sure, if they decide what they like is the same old thing, fine. But they need to understand that there is more out there, and believe that other people like other things. And they need to feel that the mere existence of other things shouldnā€™t be a poke in the eye.

Until then, there’s a problem, because the other world views that poke them in the eye aren’t just conservative political or religious views, but the mere existance of others. It is racist and homophobic and a whole lot of other things that they don’t like being accused of. But that is the world view of The Golden Age, where nothing existed by one view and Heinlein putting in one South American character is a big deal worthy of discussion. That is White Americans in space. That is their normal. And it shouldn’t be.

Aug 032016
  August 3, 2016

justice league

To mark the recent release of The Killing Joke, and the soon-to-be release of Suicide Squad, Iā€™m going to rank the DC Animated films. But Iā€™m keeping this to a top 13 instead of ranking them all as thereā€™s a large number that come out as equally so-so, and not worth my time to rewatch or yours to seek out. None of those are horrible (though some have some horrible moments); they just aren’t very good. So, Iā€™ll group those altogether in a great big 14th place where they all arenā€™t worth paying for, but if they show up free, they are OK to keep on in the background. Also, Iā€™m ignoring the videos that were essentially part of an animated TV series. (Updated for Suicide Squad: Hell to Pay)

 

First, Dishonorable mention: Batman: The Killing Joke

This one is a step below the rest. The Killing Joke was not a great comic, which made it not the greatest source material for a film. Yes, something big happens, but that doesnā€™t make it good. And what they added for the film does not help. The Killing Joke is uncomfortably sexist, not like focusing on hot Harley (which I think of as very comfortable sexism), but in that it is filled with sad stereotypes of weak women and cold men. If the story was better, that would be less of a problem, but it isnā€™t. It is cruel and dark, just for the sake of cruelty. It doesnā€™t say anything with that cruelty. It doesnā€™t do anything. Itā€™s cruelty porn with a sexism chaser.
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Jul 122016
  July 12, 2016

ghostbusterslogoSo, the first Ghostbusters Reboot reviews are in, and they areā€¦odd. Mostly Iā€™ve seen five stars reviews and zero star ones. This is either the best or worst movie ever. I find both unlikely, and while Iā€™m betting it is closer to the bottom than the top, I suspect even in genre films, it will be sitting on top of many worse filmsā€”after all, this is the year of Batman v Superman. It is hard to take any of these extreme reviews seriously and I suspect more than the quality of the film is in play.

The problem with Ghostbusters is that no matter what happens, the results will be bad. Thatā€™s because films affect other films. The success or failure of any big budget films is often more important for what it does to other films than for its own quality. One film can crush a career, kill a studio, star a trend, or kill an idea for years to come. Everyone remember Michael Myers? He was on top of the Hollywood pile. Then The Love Guru came along. Notice multiple studios spending tons of time, effort and money to create shared universes? Thatā€™s The Avengers effect. After The Road Warrior we had a decade of wild men in the desert flicks. Alien was followed by over a hundred bug in a bottle films. The music in Pirates of the Caribbean has meant since then that no amount of bombast is too much. Harry Potter split its final movie, and we got extra Twilight and extra Hunger Games films. Batman Begins gave us a pair of depressing Superman movies, and the Fantastic 4, along with other depressing superhero flicks. Letā€™s not even think about the sludge pit The Blair Witch Project left in its wake. And thatā€™s a minor rundown.

Hollywood is as filled with prejudices as any place else, but the main one is money. Hollywood likes it. And they learn lessons very quickly on how not to lose it and whatā€™s the best way to make more, and those lessons are always of the form ā€œdo that thing that made money and donā€™t do that thing that lost money.ā€

Which brings me back to Ghostbusters, something that could only cause harm. Itā€™s just about out, and those reviews leave it up in the air what will happen. But lets look at the extremes.

If Ghostbusters fails, then MRAs will claim victory. They are already working on hiding good reviews on Redit. There is no time when MRAs claiming victory is a good thing. Culturally, thatā€™s a mess. But sticking with film, that will make money-men less likely than they already are to invest in female-led movies. Any movement in the direction of actual female representation in film that has been happening (and it hasnā€™t been much), will be slowed even more, and if another flop comes along, we could see years of before anyone starts moving in the right direction again.

On the other hand, what if it is a success? Well, then things are bad as well. Many original ideas never make it to the screen because the money men wonā€™t take a chance when they could instead fund a reboot or a sequel. Itā€™s a painful ride through cinema history to see how many times a director will explain that the reason he made the crap movie he made was because no one would back his real project. And with the huge sums going to big films now, this is getting worse. For quite a few years, reboots and sequels meant money, so thatā€™s what we got. But lately weā€™ve gotten a string of big budget sequel and reboot flops or underperformers: Alice Through the Looking Glass, Zoolander 2, Independence Day: Resurgence, Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising, The Divergent Series: Allegiant, The Huntsman: Winter’s War. And this is having an effect. The talk in Hollywood is they may have overplayed the sequel and reboot handā€”with things like the MCU being a special case. There has been serious movement as money began looking for the next big thing. But itā€™s only started, and one successā€”one success that has everyoneā€™s eyes on it, could kill that, and stick us back in the muck. And few films have more eyes on it than Ghostbusters. So, even if it is a great film (and my guess isā€¦no), it will be an artistic disaster if Ghostbusters is a success.

Thereā€™s also the issue of a success meaning that Melissa McCarthyā€™s career will grow, instead of implodeā€”the second being my choice as she is spectacularly unfunny, but thatā€™s a minor issue.

Will the reverse positive effects come into play as well? That is, will its success lead to greater representation for women and will its failure put a nail in sequels and reboots? I doubt it. It may have a minor inpact in those areas, but only very minor. My guess is the only women who will show up more in movies if this is a success are Melissa McCarthy and Kristen Wiig. And if it fails, the train is already on the tracks to pull back on sequel/reboots, thanks to Alice and the others just keeping it on track. Ghostbusters could derail it, but probably add little fuel.

Think that a movie canā€™t have that much effect? Well, weā€™ll see when we get Kristen Wiig in Scarface and Justin Bieber in Full Metal Jacket. Now if you don’t worry about film as art, but only as entertainment like aĀ rollercoaster, then how much Ghostbusters is going to screw up artistry and representation may not mean much to you. But then Iā€™m not sure why you are paying attention. But for those of us that do care about film as art, this is, unfortunately, a big deal. Ghostbusters is far from the only film that could screw things upā€”Iā€™ve already spoken a good deal about BvS and the failure of The Neon Demon is in no oneā€™s best interestā€”but it is the film of the moment.

May 292016
  May 29, 2016

So, with the number of bad war films Iā€™ve complained about in the last few days, in honor of Memorial Day, Iā€™ve made a list of must see ones. These are my favorite war films (with the caveats that Iā€™ve stuck with real wars, wars that include guns, and ones where the war is front and center, not a setting for other drama, thus Iā€™m leaving out things like Casablanca, The African Queen, Beau Geste, and The Sea Hawk).

 

#11Ā The Dirty Dozen (1967)

The first of multiple ā€œfunā€ war films on this list, The Dirty Dozen is all about shooting the bad guys and gleeful nastiness. Lee Marvin leads a band of mid-level stars in a big shoot-ā€˜em-up that feels like playing army.


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May 062016
  May 6, 2016

Marvel is on a roll, with the MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe) being both wildly successful and consistently good. But Marvel has had its share of artistic failings, always when someone elseā€™s hands were in the pie. So, to celebrate the release of Civil War, Iā€™m going to dwell for a moment on the worst Marvel, costumed, superhero films.

The failures tend to be of two types: campy kidā€™s stuff or self-important whining. In a few cases, the films manage both simultaneously, going way over the top with silly super-villain dogs or dance routines while keeping to a self-important tone. Those can be the worst. If you are going to fail, choose the camp kidā€™s route. At least there can be some fun there.

I stuck with theatrical releases for this list, thus ignoring the direct-to-video, TV, and never released flicks like Captain America (1990), The Fantastic Four: The Movie (1994), Generation X (1996), and any of those Bill Bixby Hulk TV movies. Those are on a different level, more primitive in every aspect of production, but more fun if you happen to have friends over and a lot of beer. Yes, they are all horrible, but itā€™s a different form of horrible.

In making this list, I intended for each film to take its own place, but similar films kept tying or ending up next to each other. So in the end, I grouped some together: 12 films in 7 slots.

If youā€™ve avoided any of these, good for you. Keep up the good work. All of them are embarrassments.

 

#7 Spider-Man (2002)/Spider-Man 2 (2004)/Spider-Man 3 (2007)

Raimiā€™s Spider-Man films still fit together not only by being terrible, but by being the same damn film. Itā€™s a common mistake of sequels to cling close to the original, but my God this is ridiculous. Which of the three films is this: A hopeless miscast and sleepy Tobey Maguire stars uncharismatically as Peter Parker, a 27 plus-year-old teenager who canā€™t deal emotionally with his powers, moons over Mary Jane who he dumps, and fights an enemy who coincidently is personally known to him and gained his powers in a ā€œscienceā€ accident? Yeah.

All three mix super-serious pretention with camp. But there are fun games to be had. You could argue over who is the worst actor between Tobey Maguire, Kristen Dunst, and James Franco. Or you could search for the exact moment when Willem Dafoe, J.K. Simmons, Alfred Molina, and Topher Grace forgot it was a live action film and just started playing animated characters. Or you can rattle off other ways to kill off Uncle Ben, because, wow, that guy needed to die.


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Apr 262016
  April 26, 2016

Year two of the Puppy Mess (year 4 if you want to count from the beginning, but there was still some honor to the award for the first two years) and it looks worse than last year. Why worse? Because there’s a lot of squirming and heming and excuses to just go with it. Surrender is in the air. “Oh, but some of Vox’s choices are OK.” They weren’t the fans’ choices, but hey, “Vox chose OK for us so why should we be unhappy?”

Let’s take a look at how the Pups affected things. What is noticable is that it is the Rabid Pups who dominated. The Sads are a distant second. And fandom is dead last.

Here are the nominees. Red=Rabid Pup. Yellow=Sad Pup (Yellow * means the Sads were supporting that Rabid pick). Blue=Fandom.

 

BEST NOVEL

Ancillary Mercy by Ann Leckie
The Cinder Spires: The Aeronautā€™s Windlass by Jim Butcher*
The Fifth Season by N.K. Jemisin
Seveneves: A Novel by Neal Stephenson*
Uprooted by Naomi Novik

 

BEST NOVELLA

Binti by Nnedi Okorafor
The Builders by Daniel Polansky*
Penricā€™s Demon by Lois McMaster Bujold*
Perfect State by Brandon Sanderson*
Slow Bullets by Alastair Reynolds*

 

BEST NOVELETTE

ā€œAnd You Shall Know Her by the Trail of Deadā€ by Brooke Bolander*
ā€œFlashpoint: Titanā€ by CHEAH Kai Wai
ā€œFolding Beijingā€ by Hao Jingfang, trans. Ken Liu*
ā€œObitsā€ by Stephen King*
ā€œWhat Price Humanity?ā€ by David VanDyke

 

BEST SHORT STORY

ā€œAsymmetrical Warfareā€ by S. R. Algernon*
The Commuter by Thomas A. Mays
ā€œIf You Were an Award, My Loveā€ by Juan Tabo and S. Harris
ā€œSeven Kill Tigerā€ by Charles Shao
Space Raptor Butt Invasion by Chuck Tingle

 

BEST RELATED WORK

Between Light and Shadow: An Exploration of the Fiction of Gene Wolfe, 1951 to 1986 by Marc Aramini
ā€œThe First Draft of My Appendix N Bookā€ by Jeffro Johnson*
ā€œSafe Space as Rape Roomā€ by Daniel Eness*
SJWs Always Lie: Taking Down the Thought Policeby Vox Day
ā€œThe Story of Moira Greylandā€ by Moira Greyland

 

BEST GRAPHIC STORY

The Divine written by Boaz Lavie, art by Asaf Hanuka and Tomer Hanuka
Erin Dies Alone written by Grey Carter, art by Cory Rydell
Full Frontal Nerdity by Aaron Williams
Invisible Republic Vol 1written by Corinna Bechko and Gabriel Hardman, art by Gabriel Hardman*
The Sandman: Overturewritten by Neil Gaiman, art by J.H. Williams III

 

BEST DRAMATIC PRESENTATION ā€“ LONG FORM

Avengers: Age of Ultron*
Ex Machina
Mad Max: Fury Road
The Martian*
Star Wars: The Force Awakens

 

BEST DRAMATIC PRESENTATION ā€“ SHORT FORM

Doctor Who
Grimm
Jessica Jones
My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic*
Supernatural

 

BEST EDITOR ā€“ SHORT FORM

John Joseph Adams
Neil Clarke
Ellen Datlow
Jerry Pournelle*
Sheila Williams

 

BEST EDITOR ā€“ LONG FORM

Vox Day
Sheila E. Gilbert
Liz Gorinsky
Jim Minz
Toni Weisskopf*

 

BEST PROFESSIONAL ARTIST

Lars Braad Andersen
Larry Elmore*
Abigail Larson*
Michal Karcz
Larry Rostant

 

BEST SEMIPROZINE

Beneath Ceaseless Skie
Daily Science Fiction
Sci Phi Journal*
Strange Horizons
Uncanny Magazine

 

BEST FANZINE

Black Gate
Castalia House Blog
File 770*
Superversive SF*
Tangent Online*

 

BEST FANCAST

8-4 Play
Cane and Rinse
HelloGreedo*
The Rageaholic
Tales to Terrify

 

BEST FAN WRITER

Douglas Ernst
Mike Glyer
Morgan Holmes
Jeffro Johnson
Shamus Young

 

BEST FAN ARTIST

Matthew Callahan*
disse86
Kukuruyo
Christian Quinot
Steve Stiles

 

CAMPBELL AWARD

Pierce Brown
Sebastien de Castell*
Brian Niemeier*
Andy Weir*
Alyssa Wong
So there it is. You, the regular fans, made nine choices. That’s it. The rest were hand picked by Vox or the Sads. Might you (the plural you) have chosen some of those same works/people? You might have. But you didn’t. Vox chose them. And the Pups chose the rest Y’all (going Southern for clarity) did not. Y’all chose nine and that is all. Sure you can go with the “Well, I would have…” Yes, but you didn’t. Vox did. So if you are happy with Vox handing your choices, then go ahead and just somehow say it’s all OK.

And that’s what I’m already seeing. And it started last year. George and John and Mary, much as I like them, were wrong. They went with the “Oh, just vote for the best of what’s there and it will work out.” No, that wasn’t the thing to do and it didn’t work out. This year even the Sads didn’t do that well, though they did better than fandom. Vox did. The 2016 Hugos are NOT the Hugo Awards. They are The Vox-hugo. They will celebrate the best in what Vox likes. If you go along with it, you are not voting for the Hugo winner. You will be voting for the Vox-hugo winner.

There are no Hugo awards for 2016.

 

 

Apr 172016
  April 17, 2016
twinsofevil

Ummmm. He’s the good guy…

In my quest for distraction, I started re-watching old Hammer Horror films. They are lush, know how to use color (which many have forgottenā€”looking at you BvS) and have a sensual tone. So yeah, some light fun. But Iā€™ve never been a big fan. The scripts areā€¦scant, to put it politely. Thereā€™s normally more holes than plot. Characters behave in whatever way the pseudo plot requires, FX is painfully bad (they bought the bats in one case at the local five and dime store), and no one at the company owns a map (work out the travel in The Horror of Dracula some timeā€”try it). Plus there is the whole criminal misuse of Christopher Lee. But I can deal with those for some light fun.

But my God Iā€™d forgotten the miserable morality. and that I canā€™t just forget. Hammer has the most backward, conservative to reactionary philosophy I recall at any major studio. Universalā€™s fright flicks were substantially more progressive thirty years earlier and RKO was epochs removed. First, thereā€™s the view on sex. Sex is bad. Sex is very bad. Only bad people are interested in sex and they should, and generally are, punished for it. Now unfortunately thatā€™s a common trope in horror cinema, but no one goes at it with just gusto. Why that stands out is the hypocrisy. Donā€™t sell your films on sex if you say sex is bad. Keep out those heaving bosoms. It gets worse with lesbianism. The Karnstein Trilogy is essentially a three film lecture on how lesbians suck (pun intended). Where there is girl-on-girl interest, much less action, there is pain and suffering and evil. Get that girl back into the arms of a man, and all is wellā€”which they do literally in The Vampires Lovers. And like sex in general, the trilogy was sold on seeing girls with girls.

I donā€™t even know where to go with the puritan witch burners in Twins of Evil. They burn innocent girls, but hey, they mean well, and are godly, so realizing they may have stepped a bit over the line is sufficient. Sometimes you just burn innocent girls. It happens. No big deal as long as you kinda sorta regret it later. That slides into the strong religious feelings of Hammer. Again, film horror tends toward the conservative Christian in general, but Hammer takes it up a notch by having a film where the focus is that atheists are doomed.

Iā€™m not even getting into their roles for women, except to say that apparently women are incapable of taking any action.

But perhaps the worst is lost on American audiences. Hammer has a huge affection for the old British class system. The rich are just better. Peasants donā€™t really count. Sure, all the big evil comes from the upper class but so does the great good. This is because anything that matters comes from the upper classes. Ah, but their films were about ye olden times, and thatā€™s how things were. No, thatā€™s how Britain romanticized things to be. And during WWII, the pop arts, with the government’s suggestion, went to work dismantling that, because it is hard to all ā€œbe in this togetherā€ if weā€™re not all equal. English cinema kept this up after the war, with that being the basis for most every Ealing comedy. So while everyone else was saying, ā€œClass hierarchy is a thing of the past,ā€ Hammer was saying, ā€œLetā€™s get back to that past.ā€ One could think it was just laziness, and partly it was. It is easier to just go with the class/religious hierarchy in horror films displaced in time. But it isnā€™t that much easier, and this isnā€™t something they could have missed. It was too important to Britain at the time. Artists, particularly film makers, were dwelling on a new social order. Hammer could not have been unaware. It was way too visible. But they shrugged and went, ā€œYou know, peasants are kinda dirty and stupid and do a rotten job of cleaning my car, and girls are scary and really shouldnā€™t talk or do anything but heave now and then, and anyone who isnā€™t an ultra conservative Christian should be kept out of polite society, and lesbians are ickyā€”fun to look at for a moment, but icky.ā€

So yeah. Not a fan of Hammer Horror. Maybe some James Whale will help.

Apr 082016
  April 8, 2016

batmen

I thought I’d look at the live-action Batmen when Batfleck was new. Now that Ben Affleck is out, I’ve updated this page, and await WB’s newest choice for the role. Oh, there will be another.Ā  While the quality of the character is a major element in the overall quality of his films, it is far from a 1-to-1 relationship. You can have a good Batman in a weak film and the reverse is true. In some cases, other elementsā€”emotion, theme, plot, or just fantastic effects and art directionā€”have more to do with the quality of the film than Batman himself.

When ranking Batmen, it isnā€™t just the acting. That has much to do with it, as does the charm of the actor. But it also makes a difference if Batman is frightening when he is supposed to be, funny if he is supposed to be, and complex. The best Batman should be fun to watch in a fight and in a conversation. And he has to fit his world.

A key factor is that Batman doesnā€™t make sense in our universe. Heā€™s absurd by nature. After The Dark Knight came out I had a fanboy tell me, with utter conviction, that dressing up in a bat suit to fight crime would completely work in our world and makes sense. Ummmm. No. No it doesnā€™t.

Saying he is absurd is not an insult. Batman bypasses reality. He enters the land of myth. He exists as symbol and metaphor. This works in a comic which by its nature is symbolic. Film can have a harder time as it is often used to approach reality. So somehow, Batman needs to work in this medium, and there are different ways that can be done. A good Batman must explain why he dresses in a bat costume and fights crime. They do not all pull that off.

And I have to judge a person by the company he keeps. Batman surrounds himself with girlfriends, family members, a butler, and sometimes boys that he picks up. Heā€™s not defined by his enemies (though his films might be), but he is, partly, by his friends and allies.

So, starting with #9

 

#9 Robert Lowrey (Batman and Robinā€”1949)

Batlowrey1The second screen adaptation of Batman, this follow-up to the ā€™43 serial is a very different critter and far more like the comics than the first. This is action and adventure, played straight. Batman is no longer a government agent (Yup, thatā€™s what he was in ā€™43), but the mysterious crime fighter we all know. There is no connection between the two serials, which seemed like it was for the best as the former could be embarrassing. That said, I found some enjoyment in watching The Batman ’43 while I was only bored with this one.

Lowrey is less charming than his predecessor, making him a less compelling Bruce Wayne, but he is a more imposing Batman. Heā€™s not in the kind of muscle-bound shape expected of post-1980s heroes, but he is powerful-looking enough. His voice is deep and strong which helps in his characterization.

batlowrey2The only positive thing I can say about his costume is that it is a big step up from the ā€™43 version. Itā€™s still embarrassing. Apparently realizing this, both Batman and Robin tend to stand so that the more ridiculous aspects of their clothing are covered by their capes.

Itā€™s surprising that between the serials Bruce Wayneā€™s living arrangements have been downgraded. He now lives in a two-story suburban home, and drives a typical sedan. At least ā€™43 Batman had a convertible. I’m not sure this Wayne could afford to be a crimefighter, though it does make his outfit more understandable; he’s probably sewing it himself.

Batlowrey is simply dull. Heā€™s hardly given a chance to be anything else. Thereā€™s no attempt at character development and most of his lines are procedural: ā€œYes Robin, the Wizardā€™s men will be there. We should drive down this road.ā€ ā€œWait here while I find out whatā€™s wrong. The truck is parked around the curve.ā€ It doesnā€™t leave much opportunity to establish a personality. Does it make sense that he dresses up in a costume to fight crime? Who knows? There isn’t enough personality here to make any definite claim about anything.

 

#8 Robert Pattinson (The Batmanā€”2022)

Pattinson starts at a disadvantage as The Batman is two very different films jammed together. Should he be the odd noir-detective in the dark procedural drama or should he be the immortal superhero of the kid’s action flick? There’s no winning because either choice would make him wrong for half the film. So it is interesting that he went with neither, and went with constantly distracted emo highschooler. It is certainly a choice.

This Batman is quiet, still, and deeply unhappy at all times. He keeps a diary and I suspect the pages we don’t see are filled with his vampire poetry. If his parents hadn’t died, he’d be yelling at them that “You just don’t understand me.” He’s way overdramatic, and Pattinson doesn’t have the voice to pull that off. And when not making off-putting proclamations, he’s muttering. Someone needs to tell him to speak up and enunciate. On the plus side, this Batman can fight, and while those scenes might not be exciting, they are visceral.

He’s also a detective, which is a plus for a character who’s supposed to be the world’s greatest detective; most Batmen don’t do any detecting at all. Unfortunately, he’s a really bad detective.

As for Bruce Wayne, there is no Bruce Wayne. It’s not even that Pattinson’s Wayne is the same as his Batman. There is simply no Wayne at all.

His batsuit is a mixed bag. Compared to the average, it’s pretty good, except for the large clomping boots. His stomping is actually pointed out when a gang hangs around going “huh, wonder what that is.” He needs to get new shoes or all the smarter crooks will just avoid him. But there’s a bigger problem with the suit in that it is out of place in this world. In this gritty, noir universe, some guy wearing little ears just looks silly. And is this Batman crazy enough to wear a rubber bat costume? Well, he’s crazy, but more in the rocking on the floor weeping kind of way. He’s suffering from depression. Sure, he would wear black eye-liner but a Bauhaus T-shirt makes more sense then a silver bat logo.

 

#7 Val Kilmer (Batman Foreverā€”1995)

batkilmer1Joel Schumacher started with Burtonā€™s gothic world, and then just screwed it all up. Sometimes it is hard to tell what is wrong, besides everything, and that includes Batman. Kilmer had a spotty career before becoming the Dark Knight and a disastrous one after. He brings his good looks to the role and little else. Kilmerā€™s Batman isnā€™t fully camp, just enough not to be taken seriously while not enough to be any fun. This Batman isnā€™t deep, isnā€™t haunted, isnā€™t meaningful, isnā€™t silly, and isnā€™t a bad joke. He isnā€™t anything. Heā€™s slicker than Keatonā€™sā€”more poised. He is in control of himself. And heā€™s barely noticeable.

He isnā€™t really Batman. Kilmer could have been playing any generic action character. There are worse things than being bad. There is being nonexistent. Other versions of the character could be considered worse in multiple way, but at least they are memorable. Clooney is not good, but if you think about it, you can remember him. What do you remember of Kilmer? Perhaps only the cheesy line, ā€œItā€™s the car, right? Chicks dig the car.ā€

batkilmer2His Bruce Wayne is pretty much the same as his Batman, which is to say, generic. He edges more toward smarmy, which isnā€™t terrible for Wayne, but is yet another reason not to care about him.

At least he hangs with a reputable Alfred, which he needs since he also hangs with the most annoying Robin. His kinda-sorta-girlfriend has possibilities, but the relationship is so poorly presented that I’m not giving him points for her.

I canā€™t dislike Batkilmer, as that would require some level of interest.

 

 

#6 Lewis G Wilson (The Batmanā€”1943)

batwilson1Wilson was the very first Batman in a 1943 serial. For ranking, he isnā€™t in a fair competition. Cash was not lavished on the production, which is evident in every frame. Itā€™s no surprise that the effects are lacking in those pre-computer times, but they were capable of costume design in 1943. I suspect little money was allocated, giving us the worst batsuit.

The fight choreography was what youā€™d expect from a ā€˜40s serial. It would have been nice for a few more bucks to go there as well as to wardrobe, but unlike the outfit, combat is mildly acceptable.

Wilson was stuck in a low budget kidā€™s propaganda show, that looks silly now and probably didnā€™t look that much better then. As a war time serial, it is painful racist, proclaiming how good it was that the government had rounded up those ā€œshifty-eyedā€ Japs that just happened to also be American citizens. Under the circumstances, Wilson could only do so well. But within the limits he was bound by, heā€™s charming.

This Batman is not a disturbed vigilante, unable to deal with his parentsā€™ death. Heā€™s an agent fighting War-time spies and traitors for Uncle Sam. As Bruce Wayne, heā€™s a bored playboy who thinks that The Batman is a show off.batwilson2 As The Batman (it is ā€œThe Batman,ā€ not ā€œBatmanā€), heā€™s brave, noble, and manly, if perhaps lacking the physique weā€™ve become used to. A few weeks in the gym, or a costume that lifted and compressed would have elevated Wilson. As Bruce Wayne, he looks good, but not so much as Batman.

I give him a point for the cruel way he says ā€œOh, those are my bats. It is nearing their feeding time.ā€ Too bad the bats are sad shadows and the ā€œBats caveā€ (yes, there is an ā€œsā€) is a tiny stage. The poor cave gets a bit of a pass since this serial created it, not the comics. Likewise, this is the first appearance of Alfred.

Batwilsonā€™s girlfriend isnā€™t a detriment. His Robin is surprisingly competent and is never annoying. He beats the Chris Oā€™Donnell version, which I understand is faint praise.

Judged purely by acting and personality, Iā€™d move him up a slot, but thereā€™s no getting around the shoddy nature of the production.

 

#5 George Clooney (Batman & Robinā€”1997)

batclooney1Clooneyā€™s Batman finished the transition from the complicated, gothic character Tim Burton had given us to full-on camp. It is a much lesser Batman, but at least it is fully something, even if that something isnā€™t particularly good. Watching Batman & Robin is like watching the old TV show done with a pile of cash, updated FX, and less artistry. It doesnā€™t reach the level of fun of the TV show, lacking its wit and understand of the material, nor does Clooney reach the level of that Batman. Heā€™s helped by little. The script is weak, Robin is terrible, the subplot of antagonism between him and Robin make him out as a bit of a jerk, and heā€™s got the silliest suit of the feature films. I donā€™t even mind the Bat-nipples, not when thereā€™s the spiky Bat-ears to consider. He does have a good Alfred and I find Alicia Silverstone adorable, so that’s a little help. This is a childrenā€™s Batman for a childrenā€™s movie.

Clooney managed better as Bruce Wayne, as long as Wayne wasnā€™t require to be mentally disturbed in any way. This is suave Wayne. Clooney just was Clooney, and since the actor is a suave millionaire, he pulled that off fine. And in this world, Wayne doesnā€™t need to be nuts, since apparently people run around in strange outfits all the time. batclooney2I have to assume Bruceā€™s neighbors get up each day and put on their ferret outfits before going to work.

Joel Schumacher has a lot to answer for.

Thereā€™s not much positive I can say. Few people thought this Batman succeeded, including Clooney. But it matters not only how good he is, but how well he succeeded in what he was meant to be. Batclooney was meant to be an empty, uncomplicated, light-weight, kidā€™s Batman. And that he was.

 

#4 Ben Affleck (The DCEUā€”2016-2023)

batfleckbrucePoor Ben. He didn’t have a chance. It is hard to say what’s right and wrong with his portrayal as it is so inconsistent, due to no fault of his own. Zach Snyder wanted a worn and gritty Batman who might get raped in prison (yeah, he said that). Warner Bros wanted a Batman that would sell tickets. Affleck wanted not to be embarrassed. Well, it looks like no one got what they wanted.

In BvS, Affleck looks the part. As a world-wearied Batman, he nails it. His speech and the pain evident on his face all proclaim this is a Batman who has been beaten down over and over again, but has been giving better than heā€™s been taking. He also makes no sense as a human and shifts his entire world view in a second. In Justice League, he’s sometimes in the range of what he was in the previous film, but other times he’s a quip machine, and quite often he’s just tired and bored. Affleck worked out to create the Batman body, but by the re-shoots he’d given up and let the suit do the work for him. Affleck was screwed over by the studio and he just gave up, and it shows. As the scripts didn’t know what Batman was supposed to be, the only guy who had a vision (Synder) had a horrible vision, and that “vision” was stripped away in re-shoots and editing, Batfleck isn’t anything. As for his cameo appearances, Affleck is just there for the paycheck.

His Bruce Wayne isnā€™t substantially different than his Batman. Both are worn out, both seem to lack the people skills to do their jobs, and both are wildly inconsistent between and within pictures.

batfleck1His fighting skills are a mixed bag as they are so obviously computer enhanced. I like CGI, but mainly if I canā€™t tell it is CGI. Even with the post production polish, heā€™s a reasonably exciting Batman to watch in a fight, though there’s no real wow factor.

As a thinking Batman, he falls apart. Batman is the great detective, a genius with gadgets. This Batman is incapable of snooping in a house, is fooled by a psychopath, and really comes up with no workable plan. You can put it down to rage, but that doesnā€™t make him a better character. It just explains the problem. This may be the dimmest Batman of all time. Intellectually, he’s got nothing.

And then there is the question of him dressing in a bat outfit. Likes Baleā€™s version, Batfleck has anger issues (sometimes), which explains him going out punching and even branding criminals. But he just isnā€™t odd enough to have said one day, ā€œHey, I think little ears on a cowl would be a great idea.ā€

He gets a point for hanging with a superb Alfred.

 

#3 Christian Bale (The Dark Knight trilogyā€”2005-2012)

batbaleMany choose The Dark Knight as the best Batman film, but Bale rarely ranks so high. The three Nolan films work based on the larger twisting structure and themes more than Batman himself. Baleā€™s Bruce Wayne is generally considered a good one, but his suited Dark Knight ranks lower. Partly thatā€™s due to his sanity. Heā€™s too in control. But mainly it is his voice, and that flaw falls on Nolan. Instead of the roughness Keaton added when fighting crime, Bale goes for full on cancer-voice. Itā€™s a cross between unintelligible and laughable. And it only got worse in the second film when Nolan decided to tweak it beyond human capability in post production. Kevin Conroy, the voice of the animated Batman, stated that the voice was ridiculous and Bale needed to stop doing itā€”if anyone should know, it is Conroy. It was a running joke in The Lego Movie, whose Batman would rate very high on my list if I was including animated films.

While Baleā€™s Wayne ranks higher than his Batman, it is mainly due to the complexity of his character. His lack of warmth makes it hard to ever feel for him, creating a real distance between him and the audience. Again, this is a tendency of Nolan’s. And This Batman is not nearly nuts enough to go around dressing like a bat. Heā€™s got big time anger issues, but those would surface in violence, not violence dressed as a flying mammal.

batbale2I rank Batmans/Waynes on their entire personalities, including what they likeā€”that means their relationships count. And Baleā€™s Wayne has the worst taste in women. If there is one consensus amongst fans, it is that Rachel is terrible. Much of that comes from the primitive acting talents of Katie Holmes (Maggie Gyllenhaal was better when she took over, but better does not mean good; Nolan is notorious for his inability to direct female characters), but whatever the cause, his dating life is not a plus.

No one could question Baleā€™s commitment. And his physicality is impressive. Plus, when it comes to expressing those anger issues, heā€™s a genius (perhaps more than is good for him considering his famous rant on the set of Terminator 4). But Bale himself acknowledges that he never quite succeeded, and he prefers Adam West.

 

#2 Adam West (Batman: The Movie -1966)

batwest1If you are going to go camp, go all the way. Adam West is the most earnest Batman in the silliest of settings and that makes it all OK. His voice alone elevates him above the also-rans below. Heā€™s a comedy Batman who never acknowledges the joke, but lives it. Not everyone wants a pure, virtuous, noble, unshakeable, always calm, kindly, polite Batman, but if you do, hereā€™s your guy.

Batman is inherently silly. Heā€™s a symbol and has real problems when taken literally. This Batman recognized the absurdity and runs with it. The entire world is a jokeā€”enjoy it.

West looks the part of Batman, both handsome and powerful. No, he doesnā€™t have the six-pack build, but that has rarely been the sign of physically strong men but of ones who have a trainer who has muscle definition machines. And as both Wayne and Batman, he speaks like a god. His velvet tones gives depth in the middle of the ridiculous. None of the other Batmen can come close and if you are doing direct comparisons, it’s a real problem for the others. This is the iconic voice–everything else is less.

batwest2Similarly to the Schumacher-verse, the world of this Batman is one where dressing up like a bat or bird or any kind of cosplay is just normal behavior. He doesn’t have to explain why he dresses as he does. You have to explain why you don’t.

The only problem with this Batman is if you are just against the concept of a funny, joyful, good-time, camp Batman. If that notion upsets you, then no Batman that fits that will be to your liking. But figure, of all the camp Batman you could have, would any other have been better? For what he is, heā€™s the best.

And I do give him points for his companions. He has a solid Alfred, a perfectly fitting Robin, and even an amusing Aunt. And if you do not like Yvonne Craig as Batgirl, I fear there is no help for you.

 

#1 Michael Keaton (Batman/Batman Returnsā€”1989-1992)

batkeaton1It shouldnā€™t be a surprise who tops the list. In the great Batmen debates of the last twenty years, Keaton usually comes out first and I canā€™t imagine that Affleck will change that.

I remember when Keaton was cast. Batman fanboys went nuts. He was wrong in everyway. He was too comic. He was too short. He wasnā€™t like their fantasy. Well, they were wrong.

Keaton nails the two sides of the character, Bruce Wayne and Batman. His Batman is dangerous, and for the first, and only time, Batman is scary beyond his violence. His is the only Batman that could frighten criminals in a fundamental way, not just because they donā€™t like getting beaten up. Thereā€™s something unhinged about him.

While Batkeaton is treading the line of psychosis, his Bruce Wayne is even better. No reasonable man would choose to dress up like a Bat to fight crime. Baleā€™s Bat and Batfleck are both emotionally messed up, but primarily they suffer from anger issues. Keatonā€™s Wayne is more substantially disturbed. Yes, heā€™s angry, but it is so much more. This is the only Bruce Wayne I can believe would choose to become Batman. I could believe him choosing to wear a mask made of human skin and carry a chainsaw too.

batkeaton2Sometimes the phrase ā€œgritty realismā€ is brought up around the Bale Batman, but it is always inaccurate. Keatonā€™s Batman is by far the most realistic. As an actor, he has a talent of being an every man. Heā€™s someone you can imagine seeing at the grocery story. But at the same time, he can embody insanity, a lack of control, and a ruthless dedication. That is Batman.

He does well in the fights and his costume is one of the best, though it shows some mobility problems. He also has a quality Alfred.

Iā€™ve enjoyed several other Batmen, but only Keaton has been a total success. When recently asked if he, like Bale, felt a bit ofĀ jealousy at someone else playing the part, he replied that he didnā€™t, because he was Batman, and was secure in that. Which is why he is Batman.

 

Apr 042016
  April 4, 2016

After a year and a half, I still hate grocery shopping. Nothing destroys me like grocery shopping. Iā€™m sure other things could, but I do not do those other things.

Partly it is reminders. Shopping for food is filled with reminders. There is something Eugie would have enjoyed. That was a favorite snack of hers. Oh, I always skipped that because she didnā€™t like it. I used to buy two of those, but now I buy one. Yes, far too many reminders.

But more it is because it gives me time to think, and thinking is very bad. My mind wanders, and there is nowhere good that it will go. Other activities give me a chance to think as well. Driving is good at that. Any waiting or traveling excels in allowing my thoughts to flicker about. Which makes those things to avoid.

If I could cease thinking, that would be a gift. And at home I do a good job of just that. I am a master of self-distraction. I can take my mind on a thousand trivial journeys. Books and movies are good for that, as long as I choose carefully. The Internet is better. Ah, the Internet is a gem. Facebook alone is a giant gapping hole I can get lost in. All those angry people. All that rage. All the claims of offense and the far vaster number of pointless insults. All the politics that everyone finds so very, very important. Little of it is important to me. Little of life is, so it is a given, but that truth shines a bit brighter online. I never get angry in the midst of all that anger (although many have ascribed to me that emotion). I am an observer. Rage is left for those who care, and in any case, anger to me was always a personal matter. You donā€™t find rage in a thousand deathsā€”those numbers are statistics and you calmly find a way to fix the problem. No, rage comes with one death. One pain. Anger is always singular, and in the first person.

I donā€™t laugh at what I see either. Thatā€™s not the way of observers. And I donā€™t want to laugh. I have no interest in emotions of any kind, since emotions tend to grow, and when they become strong, they always go to the same place for me. And that defeats the point. The point is distraction. The point is to take me away from feeling. And as I said, Iā€™m good at that.

I have to be good at that. In a year and a half, nothing has changed. People like to lie. They like to lie to me which I suspect allows them to lie to themselves: That things will get better. It is an absurdity. Why would things get better? Byā€¦forgetting? By abandoning what was? No, things getting better or worse here depend on actual, real things, and nothing actual, real, is going to change. Without a handy resurrection spell, things will not get better. And like anger and laughter, I have no particular interest in things getting better. People in recent years have adopted the philosophy that life is about happiness. That the goal of life is to be happy. This is a very new occurrence, but so many cling to it as if it has always been the case and it is natural and ordained by the universe. It is not. Far more people in the history of the world have spent their lives trying to ā€œbe goodā€ or ā€œbe honorableā€ or any number of other things. Happiness is not the meaning of life, and while I have been happy most of my life, far more than most people I know, it is not my goal. It is a thing, like other things.

And some who see anyone not happy, or see themselves not happy, want to start giving their advice on depression. It must be clinical depression. There must be therapies and drugs to kick this sickness. But I was married for twenty-six years to a psychologist. Iā€™m not allowed such self-deception. Depression is a mental illness. It has meaning. It has effects. It is not simply equivalent to a lack of happiness. Some people need the crutch of calling themselves sick, or more often, need for others to be sick. I do not need that. Depressed is not depression. Pain is not depression. Donā€™t mix them up. It is not fair to those who are sick.

Which leads me back to, I went grocery shopping today. And I hate that. And no, I do not intend to come up with some method to avoid that chore. I plan to distract myself again. Because that is what I can do. Hell, that is what most people do whenever they watch a game or go out to a bar or fiddle with a hobbyā€”distract themselves from lives that are not what they wish they were. I didnā€™t do that. I didnā€™t need distractions. And now I do.

Time to read Facebookā€¦

Apr 042016
  April 4, 2016
kurtisadolt

Kurt, being a dolt and mistaking the meaning of the word “can’t”

Yes, I think the meme is poorly thought out. But this is a branch off a discussion, so figured Iā€™d keep the ill-considered meme that started it.

The topic of “political correctness” popped up, as it does a few hundred thousands times every day on the Internet, this time over on L. Jagi Lamplighter Wright’s page. It had much of the regular pointsā€”me saying it is simply a meaningless prejoritive used by people without manners, that and my implications of the cowardice connected to people who just canā€™t bear to say something for fear of people on the Internet being mean to them (and yeah, I feel the same about anyone on the left who canā€™t deal with the horrors of disagreement). Other people claimed it is a deep problem that ā€œsilencesā€ and hides truth. Thatā€™s the normal stuff. It is impossible not to see that every day if you read forums or FB byond close friends.

But the host supported her side with something somewhat less common (meaning only seen thousands of times a day online). That is, that people may lose their jobs due to the stifling control of political correctness. In my Internet rounds, I see this position most often over on Sarah Hoytā€™s blog, where this problem is connected to Marxists and Cultural Marxism. But Hoyt and Hoytā€™s followerā€™s views are easier to dismiss for that connection (the cry of ā€œCultural Marxismā€ has been an anti-Semitic tactic since early in the last century when it was used in an attempt to keep German Jews fleeing Hitler out of the U.S.). So letā€™s disconnect it from that, even if that is how I most frequently see it, and instead look at it in a more pure state.

Political Correctness threatens peopleā€™s jobs.

OK. How? The example from that other thread is that researchers who disagree with climate change are afraid to speak up due to fear of losing their job. Unfortunately, this isnā€™t a good example for it brings up an obvious alternativeā€”that is that researches who do not do a good job fear losing their job. Which they should. If 99 researchers do an experiment and get X, and 1 guy does it and gets Y, then the most likely reason is because 1 guy did it poorly. And thatā€™s what we have in climate change research. But lets get past that and make this more general, to take out the notion that the employee is bad at his job while keeping in mind the nearly meaningless nature of the term “PC.”

So, how can someone lose their job due to political correctness?

  1. He could say something that is offensive to other employees or the boss thus damaging productivity.
  2. He could say things that are offensive to the general public
  3. He could say something that indicates his disagreement with the boss.

Number 1 is no doubt what most supporters of ā€œthe evils of the PC policeā€ see. ā€œOh no, I cannot say my perfectly reasonable beliefs about my faith or my guns or my support of Trump without getting fired.”

Two huge problems with the self-victimhood of this. First, a majority of the time, when someone says something that is offensive to other employees, it is because it is an insult. He is being rude and insulting. Calling an Asian coworker ā€œslant eyesā€ is not speaking truth, it is being an ass. And while the First Amendment does protect your right to be an ass, your employer is under no obligation to keep you around. You can say ā€œslant eyesā€ but you also must deal with the non-governmental consequences of doing so.

ā€œAh,ā€ says the Fan of Accusing People of Being PC, who I shall call George from now on, ā€œbut what if I am not insulting anyone but simply discussing how I really like my guns.ā€ OK, so in those few cases where it isnā€™t a personal or racial or sexual insult, does George have a point. No, he does not. Lets flip it, politically. Iā€™m a vegetarian. Try and find a group less liked than vegetarians. Go ahead. Iā€™ll wait. Search for memes on Facebook. Apparently, we are just the worst. Far worse than gun enthusiasts. Hell, even The Daily Show makes fun of us. Not only am I a vegetarian, Iā€™m an animal rights advocate. So, yeah, not popular.

But, donā€™t I have a right to talk about vegetarianism and my animal welfare positions at work? Yes, and my boss has a right to fire me over them. If my beliefs disrupt the work environment, then I can get booted for them. Choosing to be a vegetarian, or a gun nut, are not civil rights. So, I donā€™t talk about animal rights at a job, unless it happens to be for an animal shelter. This goes back to Larryā€™s famous ā€œIā€™m starting the Sad Puppies because people were mean to me at a party about my love of guns and thatā€™s unfair!ā€ rant. Hereā€™s the rule: Donā€™t talk about your beliefs in situations that will make others uncomfortable unless thatā€™s the point. If the point is to do your job, then shut up about guns and vegetarianism.

ā€œHey, but my religion is a civil right!ā€ Correct George. Which means the boss cannot and should not consider it one way or the other with regard to your hiring and firing, and if someone at work is upset about your religion and complains, it is he who is in trouble. It does not, however, mean you get to start talking about your beliefs. You can, but your boss can fire you for it if you are disrupting the work place by promoting your views. I can be a Catholic (and Iā€™ve got some kick ass rosaries), but that doesnā€™t mean I can start preaching at work.

Point 2 is pretty much the same as 1. You are allowed to love Hitler. You are allowed to say so. You are allowed to be a vegetarian, and say so. You are allowed to love guns, think women should stay at home barefoot, that Black (or Whites, or Asians) are inferior, that foreigners are smelly, that harming a cat is morally equivalent to harming a human, that looking at a woman is raping her or that having sex with an unconscious women is not raping her, that Marx was right all along, that all men are sexist, that men are the ones truly oppressed, and that it is time for the revolution, and you can sing it to the skies.

And your boss is, and should be, allowed to fire you for it. If you take positions publicly that damage the company, then the company has a right to dump you. It doesnā€™t matter if your position is right or wrong. As any good protester knows, there are costs for fighting for what you believe in. Now, again, most of the time, you are probably just a jerk. But your boss doesnā€™t need to worry about that. He has to worry about if you are harming the company. Want to proclaim how swell Hitler is? Or cats? Start your own company. Or starve. Actions, particularly right actions, have costs. And this isnā€™t some new ā€œPCā€ thing. This is the way it has always been, and how it always needs to be.

Which leaves us with you disagreeing with the boss. Hoyt and crew were terrified by this. ā€œAh, say a politically incorrect things and you can be fired!ā€

Grow up.

This isnā€™t ā€œpolitical correctness.ā€ This is life. Deal with it professional victims. Guess what? People donā€™t like other people to disagree with them. And if they are the boss, they can fire you for it. So? Hereā€™s a clue. Donā€™t disagree with the boss. If my boss loved guns, I would not go in and tell him that guns should banned. If my boss loved barbecue (and my boss did), I would not go in and tell him he was being an immoral slime bag. If my boss supported Trump, Iā€™d keep my support of Sanders to myself and if he supported Sanders Iā€™d suggest Trump supporters do the same. Your personal views are yours, and personal. You do not need to talk about them. Talk about something else. I believe ā€œGame of Thronesā€ is quite popular.

ā€œAh,ā€ says George, ā€œBut what if, like in the other thread example, my views are not about personal things, but are job related?ā€ Well then, you can bring them up if it is your place to do so in the company, or just shut the hell up. You can take a chance, and see where it takes you, but getting fired is an option. Your boss gets to decide. I worked at an insurance company for many years. I think insurance companies are dishonest leeches on society. Guess what I didnā€™t say at any meetings?

ā€œBut how can the company improve without my brilliant idea?ā€ Maybe it canā€™t because the boss is stubborn. Or maybe it does because your idea sucks. Either way, it isnā€™t your call. You can go for it, and maybe win the boss over. Or maybe get fired.

No, this isnā€™t ā€œpolitical correctness.ā€ It is how people work and how business works. It seems it is always right wing and libertarian folks who want to claim this is a big problem. But tell me, keeping with those right wing or libertarian philosophies, do you really want laws that force an employer to put up with whatever wild things every employee wants to say and do? Forget laws–do you even want that to be the socially normal and acceptable way to act? Do you want to tie the hands of business owners? Remember, if you have some kind of job protection that lets you announce that guns are great and we need them in the schools or that climate change is a hoax, then the guy in the next cube can spout Marx and the workers control of the means of production or say how Jesus is a lie, and the weird guy in the end office can give his Nazi salute and suggest how brilliant it would be to stomp all babies to death.

I taught philosophy at a university. At the end of the semester I gave my students a questionnaire on what they thought my beliefs were. And they had no idea. Why? Because I kept them to myself.

So, what about those climate change deniers from the other thread who fear for their jobs? Well, if their jobs arenā€™t about doing climate research, then they need to learn to shut up. No one wants to hear about vegetarianism either. If their boss really doesnā€™t like their views, then donā€™t talk about them with the boss. And if they are climate change researchers? Well, discounting that they are just really bad at their jobs, which is my guess, then it depends just how much it is their job. If their job is not making grand claims about the entire field, then they do their job and keep their grander beliefs to themselves. If their job is actually to make a large, general statement, then they make it, and let the dominos fall. This also isnā€™t ā€œpolitical correctness.ā€ Only a bizarre wing of the far right has made any of this political. It is scientific disagreement. And sorry, you can get fired for that. Always have, unless you have tenure. Which begs the question: Who are these people making grand statements about a scientific arena who lack academic tenure? Because that sure makes them sound like people who lack the credentials to make grand statements and should just keep their mouths shut. But I suppose that is besides the point, except for the keeping their mouths shut part.

Or they can just say whatever they want, and accept the consequences. Because thatā€™s not political correctness. Thatā€™s life. I believe the phrase is, freedom isnā€™t free. Yelling ā€œpolitical correctnessā€ doesnā€™t get you out of life. It doesnā€™t excuse you from consequences, and if you think it does, you are an idiot whose views of society would create the totalitarian state you claim to abhorā€”if you were consistent anyway.

Which all comes down to, no one is losing their job due to political correctness nor should they fear doing so. They are losing their jobs because they are rude and insulting, or because they are inconsiderate by disrupting the company, or because they are causing the company to lose sales, or because they are personally upsetting their boss, or because they wonā€™t follow their bossā€™s lead, or because they are bad at their jobs. Thatā€™s how jobs work. Donā€™t want to lose your job? Donā€™t do those things. Political correctness has nothing to do with it.