Oct 022012
 

This is a review of a “Fan Edit.”  Details of the original film, including twists and the ending,  may be revealed.

One of the first “all-blue screen” films, Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow is a wonder of technology and art design.  An homage to the adventure serials of the 1930s (although its look has more in common with ’40s and ’50s trading cards and comics), Sky Captain is the story of a heroic “mercenary” pilot and his reporter ex-girlfriend as they attempt to save the world.  In an alternate 1930s, The mysterious Dr. Totenkopf has sent an army of flying robots to attack New York in order to steal generators and recover an unknown item.  When Sky Captain’s plucky assistant is kidnapped, Sky Captain (Jude Law) and Perky newswoman Polly Perkins (Gwyneth Paltrow) board his specially altered plane and follow the clues to the Far East.

With spectacular effects, an incredible fantasy world, and a gee-wiz plot that is almost the definition of childhood imagination, Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow had the foundation to be thrilling entertainment for the whole family.  But it doesn’t pull it off.  It’s not a bad movie.  It certainly looks great.  However it misses what it’s aiming for in scene after scene.

The problem is dignity.  It has far too much.  Instead of a playful ride, it’s a respectful testimonial to the fantastic tales of seventy-five years ago.  Instead of funny scenes, there are ones that venerate the humor implicit in the form.  I should be laughing or smiling throughout the picture.  Instead I’m simply nodding at the filmmaker’s clever references.  Where the story should be zooming along, it respectfully eases its way, making sure the viewer has plenty of time to digest what’s on the screen.

Jude Law and Gwyneth Paltrow personify the problem.  Law is wrong for the part.  He’s solemn where he should be roguish.  He’s handsome and dedicatedly heroic when what is needed is boyish charm and arrogance.  Thirty years ago the part would have gone to Harrison Ford.  Today, maybe Law’s old roommate Ewan McGregor or Brendan Fraser could have pulled it off.  Paltrow isn’t wrong by nature, but by execution.  She thinks she’s still in Emma.  She’s playing a standard screwball comedy ditzy blond and she’s doing it with great decorum.  That’s wrong in so many ways.  Both actors, and therefore, both characters, lack humor and warmth, and have zero chemistry.

Angelina Jolie is the only one who knows what kind of picture she’s in.  As Frankie, commander of a flying aircraft carrier and an old flame of Sky Captain’s, She’s joyful and silly and over-the-top, making me wish this was  Frankie and the World of Tomorrow.  But it isn’t, and no amount of re-editing can change that.

So, what can a fan edit do?  Cutting can do wonders for that respectful pace, but with few deleted scenes to add back, how do you bring out charm that wasn’t there to begin with?


Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow Remixed
Editor: Jorge.  Runtime: 70 min (-36 min).  2007.

So, repeating myself, the question is: How do you add charm, wit, and chemistry to a movie where they are lacking if all you can do is cut out material?  The answer is: You can’t.  Jorge’s version is shorter, which is generally a good thing when a film isn’t working, but it doesn’t make much of a difference here.  The removal of most of Polly’s churlish dialog makes her a less annoying character, but doesn’t give her the spark she needs.  She’s still cold, as is Sky Captain.  Snipping a few bad lines doesn’t magically produce snappy banter.  The movie doesn’t need scenes to be cut, but to be replaced.  It turns out it doesn’t matter if the lead characters are improved if they still end up uninteresting.  Unless they are positively engaging, all that’s worth watching is the flashy effects.

Does Jorge’s trimming help the film at all?  He does slice out a substantial amount of material that the original editors should have junked:

  • Kaji no longer has his dialog fed to him by Spy Captain.  Thank you.
  • Polly no longer has multiple lines that must have been intended to be jokes, but aren’t.  Hurrah!
  • Polly no longer falls down every few minutes.  Hurrah again!
  • We no longer watch Dex draw every line on the map.  Someone at the studio thought that was a good idea?

Those are all good cuts, but the overall viewing experience gains little.  I might have rated Remixed as a slight improvement (the best that can be done without altering the leads), but he actually cuts too much.  He pulls out thirty-six minutes, where about twenty of that was fat.  Sometimes it’s just a second too much here and there.  Cutting most of the destruction of the base is good, but so much is gone that you get no feel for what is going on.  At times the movie takes on a staccato feel.  A few things I missed:

  • Sky Captain’s original approach to his airfield; it let me see what his life is like, and without it, locations are too vague.
  • Shangri-La; if someone enters paradise, I want to see it.
  • The newspapers; they are good transitions and contain some of the only gags that work (Godzilla in the Japanese paper).
  • Dax’s statement that he meant that the only way to find out if it was safe was to throw something; when a major character does something breathtakingly stupid, like Sky Captain does by stepping on the trap, someone in the film should point it out or I’m left doing it myself.

Several of the new cuts create continuity problems.  Now, Polly no longer mentions Totenkopf’s name when they are looking at the robots, so why does Dex suddenly say, “Totenkopf, who’s he?”  Similarly, I was thrilled to have little of Polly playing with her camera, but it makes Sky Captain’s line, “What is it with you and that stupid camera anyway?” peculiar since there had been nothing “with her and that camera.”  Finally, the removal of the assassin robot after the mine explosion wasn’t clean, with a jolt in the picture and the sound dropping out. The insightful cuts even out with those that shouldn’t have been made, leaving me once again with only the visuals to enjoy.

Remixed ends strangely.  The credits are now accompanied by rock dance music.  Since it is of a different era than the one the film is attempting to portray, it ripped me out of that world.  I don’t normally hang around for the credits, but I prefer what little of them I see not to force me from cinematic fantasy quite so quickly.  But the post-credits sequence (I won’t give it away) did entertain me, so again, it comes out even.

Jorge’s attempt was interesting. I approve of some of his changes and disapprove of others, but those turn out to be nitpicks that don’t matter.  Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow appears to be a film that fan editing can’t help.

Oct 022012
 

This is a review of a “Fan Edit,” and is intended for people who are familiar with the “original” studio cut(s).  I may reveal details of that version, including twists and the ending.

In an era of feeble videogame-based films, and jittery, grainy, and generally unattractive cinematography used as a replacement for talent in attempting to create frights, Silent Hill is an anomaly.  It is creepy, clever, engaging, and beautifully filmed.  There’s a bit of Arnold Böcklin mixed with H. R. Giger in its look, and no horror movie could ask for more than that.
The story follows Rose and her daughter, Sharon, as they uncover the hidden past and monstrous present of the nightmare that is the town of Silent Hill.  Sharon is driven to find what is disturbing her child.  At the same time, her husband Christopher fights with the local police to get the answers himself, and bring his family back home.  (See my full review of Silent Hill here)

While very effective, there are a few rough spots, and fans generally focus their criticism on three items: the info dump, Christopher’s parallel storyline, and the ending.  (Non-fans don’t notice those, and instead complain that it is too complicated, but then there were those who couldn’t figure out Mission Impossible.  I ignore both groups.)  The info dump, where the entire plot is spelled out to Rose in a faux filmstrip, is a minor problem, and impossible to fix without massive additions.  The husband’s journey is a different matter.  It is the great flaw in the movie, slowing the pace, decreasing tension, and taking the focus away from where it should be (Rose and Silent Hill).  It is also poorly written and irrelevant.  Christopher looks for awhile, fails, and is sent home by police officer Gucci (whose mere presence causes problems—the poor makeup used on actor Kim Coates fails to give the illusion that he’s aged between 1974 and 2006).  Worse, Christopher actually goes.  So what was the point in showing us his adventures?  Apparently, the point was that the studio was unhappy with the lack of male characters, so had one added.  He’s a quota character.  Luckily, he’s only around for approximately eighteen minutes, sprinkled over two hours.

The ending is fitting, and poignant, but is disliked by gamers because it makes it awkward to connect the film to the videogames.  So?  This isn’t a game, it’s a movie, and should stand on its own.  In the games, characters go into another dimension when they enter Silent Hill, and then later, can leave.  But the film’s ending makes it clear that Rose and Sharon are dead.  OK, it isn’t quite that simple to anyone arguing semantics, since they aren’t dead in the ground being eaten by worms, nor are they dead on their way to Heaven or Hell.  Many don’t want to use the word “dead,” including the director.  But in the grand old tradition of cinematic ghosts, they’ve tossed off the mortal coil and aren’t coming back (use whatever term you want).  Seeing Rose and Sharon in a slightly changed home, unable to touch the living world, gives the film its final kick, but it isn’t a sad ending, per se (except for Christopher, who gave up looking for them, so who cares about him).  Rose now has her daughter, forever.  And Sharon…well, Sharon isn’t just a little girl, but she has a mother, so she’s content, which should keep her out of trouble.

It looks to me as if there’s quite a bit of room for a fan edit.


Silent Hill: The Spence Edition
Editor(s): Spence.  Runtime: 103 min (-22 min).  2006.

Spence’s cut (I don’t know if Spence is an individual or a group) renewed my interest in fan edits.  I’d seen a few previously, mainly of Star Wars films, and was impressed with the work being done.  But they can be tricky to find, and I can only watch The Phantom Menace a limited number of times, no matter the version.  Then I stumbled upon Silent Hill: The Spence Edition, and this cruel critic’s scowl changed, ever so slightly.  You see, at the end of my review, I commented that “I still have hope for a changed version on the DVD,” a version without Christopher chatting to nuns or scuttling away.  And here it was.

Spence chops out the entire pointless subplot.  Christopher (played by Sean Bean), appears at the beginning, along side his wife and adoptive daughter, and later speaks briefly on the phone to Rose, and then is gone from the picture.  Since nothing he did ever effected Rose, or anyone, Spence didn’t need to clean up any problematic story threads.  The husband has vanished without even a whisper.  Not only does this streamline the movie, but no longer is the ever-growing tension released prematurely.  This makes for a more disquieting experience, which as any fan of horror knows, is a good thing.  We stay with Rose.  We experience events with her, never being distracted by irrelevant details.  It’s her story, and by never leaving, it is easier to empathize with her.

Spence has also clipped off the denouement, leaving Rose and Sharon on the road, heading home.  The implication is that everything will now return to normal.  It is a weaker finish, but not majorly so, and is a cheap price to pay for the loss of Christopher.

While watching, I was so captured by the improved flow that I rarely noticed the cuts, but they are there to be seen (well, heard actually) if you are looking for them.  On several occasions, the music switches too abruptly.  Obviously, this is a difficult thing for fan editors—who don’t have access to the original audio tracks—to fix.  That doesn’t mean it isn’t annoying, just that it is expected.  While the visuals transition smoothly most of the time, there is a single frame of Christopher and the policeman in the middle of the movie.  It passes so quickly, that it seems to be only a flash of yellow light in a film filled with unexpected events.  These are minor flaws (far less troubling than the missing ending), and again, are trivial when compared to the improvements.

The DVD I viewed not only included the main film, but as an extra, had a short constructed from the cut scenes.  In this form, the material is welcome.  It’s fine to know what Christopher was doing, as long as it doesn’t interfere with the real story.

Silent Hill: The Spence Edition demonstrates the value of fan edits.  Here was a good film, with a specific, easy to spot fault, which could not be repaired by the studio.  Artistry had nothing to do with the blemish; it was fear that the picture wouldn’t sell unless it was compromised.  Spence has trimmed away unneeded, tasteless gristle, with the result being an improved piece of art.  Even the often used attack on fan edits, that they damage the filmmaker’s vision, is hollow in this case.  (First off, “filmmaker’s vision” is one of the most useless terms currently in the English language.  Avoid it.)  Silent Hill: The Spence Edition is the original “vision.”

I look forward to seeing other “Spence” editions.

Oct 022012
 
This is a review of a “Fan Edit.”  Details of the original film, including twists and the ending, may be revealed.

I may not seem to be a good choice to review anything connected to The Phantom of the Opera.  Not only do I not understand why someone would undertake re-editing it, I don’t understand why anyone would watch it.  Or for that matter, why anyone wouldn’t take out a contract on Andrew Lloyd Webber for the pain he has caused.

Ah, but now that I think about it, I’m the perfect person to examine a fan edit of Phantom.  After all, could you trust any critic who recommended the original?  (Read my full review here.)

OK, so what was right with The Phantom of the Opera? Not much.  Its use of color brought out not only the fantastic elements of the story, but looks damn good.  It was a pretty movie.  Stage-bound and claustrophobic, but pretty.  The costumes helped there as well.  The only other sign of competence was the casting of Emmy Rossum.  Looking at her, I have no problem believing that any number of people could become obsessed.  Plus, she can carry a tune.

So what was wrong, since that’s what’s important when constructing a fan edit?  There were all the elements carried over from the stage musical, but lets focus on the film, not its source material.  The movie specifically failed because:

  • It was overlong. Stage shows need extra time for set changes.  Movies don’t.  This one was far too slow and seemed to never end.
  • The character of the Phantom had been stripped of his mystery, and was portrayed not only as a jerk, but a wimp.
  • Gerard Butler (The Phantom) had a reedy voice that would be fine for minor background singing, but lacks the quality needed to carry a show.
  • Secondary singers (such as Patrick Wilson) were acceptable, but hardly exciting.

Excessive length is one of the things fan edits is best at repairing, but weak singing?  Not much can be done about that.  Right?  Ummmm.  Right?


The Phantom of the Opera Resynched
Editor: Wui-Ming Gan.  Runtime: 91 min (-52 min).  2006.

Wui-Ming Gan will require watching.  This guy (girl?  Group? Fan editors tend to be a secretive lot) has imagination to spare.  He corrects what could not be corrected.  He fixes the singing.

In a musical (or operetta) nothing is more important than the songs and how they are performed, and while Gan can’t change the songs themselves (I have a feeling he wouldn’t want to), he does improve how they are presented many fold.  Dumping the sound track, he has synched (thus the title) the Original London Cast Recording to the film, and created something much different, and far better.  To do this, he at times alters the speed of the video.  It jitters, it races, and I swear it slows down.  A problem? Nope.  The effect is dreamlike.  It is a surreal Phantom which is exactly the atmosphere needed.  Plot holes and bizarre character choices? Not a problem in a dream.  Overripe romance? Again, perfect for a dream.  We don’t here footsteps or door slams or any number of non-music-related sounds.  They aren’t missed.

As for the music, I wrote in my review that I hated it.  And so I did.  I forgot the difference a really fine performance makes.  Michael Crawford’s voice replaces that of Gerard Butler.  Now Crawford is not my idea of a perfect Phantom.  This powerful figure should have a deep, booming base.  But Webber wrote for a tenor, and if you must have a tenor, Crawford’s the guy.  Every song that Butler let die, Crawford resurrects.  Steve Barton is also a vast improvement over Patrick Wilson as the less interesting second male lead.  Wilson sang from his throat, Barton from his diaphragm.  Neither Crawford or Barton are worth going out of your way to find, but as they replace singers that you should put effort into avoiding, it changes the nature of the production.

Which leaves Sarah Brightman. Emmy Rossum had a pleasant voice and earned her role as Christine, but Brightman’s voice is a thing of beauty.  Hey, I just listened to her so I’m excused if my praise is overly effusive.  It’s pointless to attempt to describe her talent, so I’ll stick with the effect: every song she sings is more emotional, more enjoyable, and far more powerful.

In synching the movie to the London cast recording, Gan remedies another major ailments  The cast recording is shorter, so he chops the video to fit. What was drudgery at one hundred and forty-three minutes is tight and almost exciting at ninety-one.  No plot is lost.  No character development is missing.

Two alterations deserve specific mention.  The first is the swordfight in the graveyard.  In the original film, this is where we learn that the Phantom is not a larger-than-life creature to be reckoned with, but an impotent figure to be forgotten.  Raoul whips him with ease.  Gan’s cut changes that.  You’ll have to forgive me if I don’t describe the exact slices since that would require me re-watching the theatrical release, and there are some things that are unfair to ask of me.  The gist of it is that the duel ends close to a tie, with the Phantom coming out ahead with the weapons but Raoul leaving with the girl.  It works for the story.  Gan also tried something more extreme.  To make the Phantom more mystical, he rotoscoped his sword to make it glow magically.  It was a clever idea, but it doesn’t work.  It’s too cartoony.  Even with the film’s now-surrealistic persona, it is artificial.

The other change is the ending.  The leads have left, the mob enters the underground lair, and a girl lifts the abandoned mask.  That’s it.  Done.  But not in the original release.  The movie goes on.  Why?  I haven’t a clue.  The story is over.  Smart filmmakers end their films when they run out of story.  Gan did just that.

With the singing no longer an ongoing irritant, with the pace no longer lulling me to sleep, and with the characters less meek and annoying, I could do something I couldn’t before: enjoy the visuals.  As I mentioned, this is a pretty film, but who cares when you want to throw things at the screen.  Gan not only brought in better elements, but he made it possible to enjoy what the film already had of value.

For good or ill, watching The Phantom of the Opera Resynched doesn’t feel like watching a film.  Think of it as listening to the album while some pertinent pictures happen to appear nearby.  Or maybe as a really long music video.

Did I love it?  No.  I’m never going to love any version of Webber’s The Phantom of the Opera.  I’m not even sure I liked it.  But I didn’t hate it.  And that’s huge.

Oct 022012
 

These are reviews of “Fan Edits” and are intended for people who are familiar with the “original” studio cuts.  I may reveal details of those versions, including twists and the ending.

After the Star Wars films, there are more fan edits of The Matrix movies than any other film or film series.  It’s easy to see why.  Like Star Wars, you have an initial film that sparked the imagination of a generation.  It was new and exciting, with multiple layers if you wanted them.  Plus, sci-fi tends to evoke more fanaticism then urban dramas or romantic comedies.  Also like Star Wars, things went wrong with the later films, and those devoted fans were deeply disappointed, in this case by The Matrix Reloaded and The Matrix Revolutions.  Once again, established characters were diminished, pompous speeches were everywhere, and the filmmakers were caught up in their own fame and their ability to create amazing special effects.

But there is a difference.  No matter how silly the characters (Jar Jar Binks), or how dull the story elements (difficult trade negotiations), The Phantom Menace and its follow-ups were coherent.  It may have been a bad story, poorly executed, but it made sense when it was finished, and most of what happened was relevant.  Not so for The Matrix flicks.  In The Matrix Reloaded, Neo (Keanu Reeves) must reach “The Source.”  To do that, he must work with Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne) and Trinity (Carrie-Anne Moss) to kidnap/rescue The Keymaker from a rogue program, and carryout an elaborate scheme, fighting agents all the way.  Except The Architect (the guy at The Source) wants to talk to Neo.  Two hours could have been replaced by one phone call: “Hey, Neo, this is The Architect.  I built The Matrix and I want to be Mr. Exposition, filling you and the audience in on what’s going on.  Come up to my office.  I’ll leave the door open.”  Once Neo learns that the reason for his existence is to repair some code, nothing ever comes of it.  Neo never reinserts this code.  The entire plot of the the movie is dropped as soon as The Matrix Revolutions begins.

Revolutions, unlike Reloaded, isn’t unnecessary, it is incoherent.  The rules of the story no longer apply.  There is a vague structure upon which is placed even wilder special effects sequences and religious allegories.  Neo is no longer a metaphor for Christ; he is Christ.  The Wachowski Brothers (writers, directors, and producers of all three films) lost sight of the difference between a symbol and the thing that is being symbolized.  My reviews of The Matrix Reloaded and The Matrix Revolutions discuss this in greater detail.  You may find that, considering my comments, that my rating is high for both films.  That’s because my film ratings do not signify the quality of a film, but how much effort you should put into seeing it.  I recommend seeing both films once, preferably on a very large screen, just to experience the effects.  But once is enough, and both films get progressively less pleasant on repeat viewings.

As it is the sequels that are lacking, it is those two films that receive the bulk of the attention of fan editors.  I’ve only seen The Matrix touched when the editor is attempting to turn all three films into a single work.  The Matrix has no huge mistakes that need correcting.  Many people love it as is.  Those who don’t (usually people who aren’t fond of the genre) are not going to like it any better if it is re-cut.  As already stated, it’s a different story for the sequels.  The most often cited problems are:

  • Focus not on Neo.
  • Speeches.  So many speeches.
  • Agent Smith’s existence.  (I love the guy, but wasn’t he utterly destroyed in the first film?)
  • Over-long combat sequences that rarely move the plot along, nor seem of any importance except to show off new effects.
  • Neo has magic powers outside of The Matrix.
  • Multiple “The Ones.”
  • The Kid.
  • Locke is not only perpetually grouchy, he’s a useless commander.  (He’s upset they set off an EMP even though without it, they’d all be dead.  And what is his plan for defeating the machines?)
  • Morpheus/Locke/Niobe love triangle.
  • The Rave.  (I don’t dislike The Rave.  Sure it’s ridiculous.  Ever dance on rock?  And why is everyone twenty-five?  But since I gave up on sense and plot early, and watch the films purely for what is “pretty,” The Rave works.)
  • Merovingian.  He talks.  And talks.  And talks.
  • Persephone’s request for a kiss.
  • Another resurrection through the power of love.
  • Religious symbolism overwhelms the story and characters.
  • Unnecessary, irrelevant, and uninteresting subplots (the Trainman, the Last Exile).
  • The death of actress Gloria Foster is dealt with poorly. (Deal with it, or don’t deal with it.  Don’t make multiple vague references to it.)
  • The ending.  It is not only depressing, but serves only to tie up the allegory, not the story.

And that is only the major flaws.

So, what have the fan editors come up with?

The Matrix Dezionized

The Matrix Reloaded Hacked/The Matrix Revolutions Hacked

The Matrix Regenerated

The Matrix Squared


The Matrix Dezionized
Editor(s): CBB Group.  Runtime: 143 min (-124 min).  2005/2006.

This is a focused edit.  The CBB Group attempts to fix the many problems with the sequels by combining Reloaded and Revolutions into one film, and cutting all scenes that take place in Zion.  It’s amazing how many flaws are eradicated in this way, and how seamless it is.  Gone is the unneeded (in any form) first visit to the last city.  Gone is the late night walk which takes up time, but adds nothing dramatically.  Gone are multiple speeches and the rave.  Gone is Locke, and with him, his unreasonably poor military skills and the love triangle.  Gone is The Kid, the Jar Jar Binks of The Matrix series.  Gone are side plots that are irrelevant to Neo’s story, and multiple characters who do nothing but take up space on the screen.  Without that Zion time (nearly one hundred and twenty minutes), Neo is once again front and center.  The first film was his story, and now the sequel is as well.

With such an extreme cut, I’d expect there to be some heavy losses of needed material, but there aren’t.  Niobe is now underdeveloped considering the important roll she plays, and the most exciting effects sequence (the battle for the Zion docks—it is exciting and looks great; it also lacks verisimilitude, which is a significant statement in a film where everything is pushing believability) is gone, but I didn’t mind.  I hardly noticed.  And nothing else cut has any effect on what is left.  The edits are made with such precision and skill that they are undetectable.  If I didn’t know, I’d never guess that this wasn’t a product of the studio.

While the removal of Zion and the renewed focus on Neo is the most important change, The CBB Group also cut many of the sequels’ more painful moments.  In The Matrix, Morpheus was strange, but still a reasonable man who could inspire others.  In Reloaded, he was changed into a raving cult priest.  Much of that alteration appeared in the Zion scenes, but was first visible onboard the Nebuchadnezzar when he tells Link that he must “trust” him.  CBB sliced this out.  It was a poor conversation under any circumstances, but it was particularly damaging to the character because of how early it appeared in the picture.  In Dezionized, Morpheus is much more the character I remember from the first film.

Another improvement is the elimination of Trinity’s rooftop death.  Neo had died and been brought back in the first film (not its finest moment).  It was hardly something that needed to be repeated.  In Reloaded, it played like the climax to  a bad romance novel.  Instead, Neo now catches Trinity, flying her to the rooftop, and the scene ends.  Nothing else is required.

Finally, The CBB Group took aim at excessive effects combats.  Neo fights an army of Agent Smiths long past the point where it is exciting.  It was impressive that The Wachowski Brothers could pull off so many copies of actor Hugo Weaving.  Unfortunately, the scene lacks drama, and feels like nothing but the Wachowskis yelling, “Look what we can do.”  Making it worse, they couldn’t always “do it.”  At times, the digital effects become obvious and the combatants look like cartoons.  Still, the fight is entertaining for a few moments.  Dezionized does not cut as much of the fight as I’d like, but probably as much as is possible without making it choppy.

I was also thrilled to see the never-ending highway chase shortened.  Again, it is still too long, but it is better.

Even with all the slices, the CBB Group was very conservative.  That may seem an odd statement considering they cut 123 minutes, but outside of Zion, they left most of the scenes intact, even ones which cried out to be removed.  A good example is “The Kiss.”  It is repetitive (Persephone explains four times why she is betraying her husband), stops the momentum of the film, and is trite beyond the point where the English language can describe it.  It’s also easy to remove.  Persephone meets them at the elevator doors and they walk together, without explanation, to get The Keymaker.  Done.  There are many similar moments, but it is severe to criticize a fan edit for not being better than the studio filmmakers in every case.  In some, they come out even.

Alright, so The CBB Group made a lot of cuts, all of them good.  They showed an ingenuity that the Wachowskis lacked when putting together their film and have a better understanding of narrative structure and pacing.  Yes, Dezionized is better than its source material.  But, is it good? Well, not so much.  By clearing away piles of rubbish, by eliminating distractions, Dezionized is a much clearer picture.  The basic plot stands out more, and therein lies the problem.  That plot is still a cancerous boil on sci-fi cinema.  We still have Neo performing magic for no reason.  The first half is still a quest, passing through boring and ludicrous characters, that never needed to happen and ends with The Architect telling Neo information which is dropped for the second half.  And in that second half, Neo becomes Jesus and religious symbolism replaces the story.  At least in the theatrical versions, I could occasionally forget how stupid it all was under the constant bombardment of noise and nonsense.

As is the case for most fan edits, Dezionized tried to fix the original filmmakers’ vision, not replace it.  But it isn’t a vision worth fixing.  I would rather watch this cut than the theatrical sequels, but I’m afraid I’d still rather skip them all.


The Matrix Reloaded Hacked/The Matrix Revolutions Hacked

Editor(s): Doctor M.  Runtime: 111/96 min (-27/-33 min).  2006.

The Matrix Hacked is the most interesting fan edit of the series, and I doubt I will find one that is conceptually better.  Dezionized tried to fix the Wachowski Brother’s “vision.” Hacked has a different philosophy.  It follows through with what it looked like they had originally planned. The effect is the same as a producer coming in three-fourths  of the way through the filming of Reloaded and forcing the Wachowskis to stay on track. The plot is more coherent, the religious symbols stay symbols, and the tone matches that of the The Matrix.  In order to achieve this, Doctor M has radically re-worked the films.  He has kept them separate, though I doubt anyone will watch one without following it immediately with the other.  The alterations to Reloaded are substantial when compared to other fan edits, but do not change the general story.  There’s a lot of trimming and tucking.  Revolutions is another matter. Scenes are rearranged, motivations are altered, and the fates of both major and minor characters have been rewritten, all to the better.  I wish Doctor M could have been part of the preproduction process.  He has a better eye for what makes a narrative than anyone hired to work on the film.

Of course, conception is not execution, and the Hacked films do not play out as well in practice as in theory.  You can’t fault anyone for that.  Doctor M had to work with the footage he had, and sometimes that wasn’t quite enough.  So the cuts are not always smooth.  Sometimes it is an awkwardness in the picture or sound, as the film jumps a bit quickly from one spot to another.  At other times, it is new continuity errors, such as The Kid, who is no longer introduced, suddenly walking with Tank’s bags. In general, Doctor M has done a superb job splicing together what he’s got, but the seems are visible.

So, how has Doctor M restructured the story?  Simply, he’s made the visit to The Architect important (thus making Reloaded relevant).  Unlike the theatrical version, where Neo ignores what he’s told about needing to reintegrate the code that he carries into the Matrix and nothing comes of it, in Hacked, it means something.  As The Oracle points out, The Architect’s exact statements are inaccurate, but his general position is correct.  Destroying Agent Smith isn’t the main goal; getting his code to the machine city is.  Neo needs to jack-in to take care of Smith, and then travel with Trinity to bargain with the machines: his code for the survival of Zion.  This puts the climactic Smith fight before the battle for Zion.  And after Neo meets with the machines, then Trinity and Morpheus must go to the Merovingian to get Neo out.  Anyone familiar with the films will see just how major these shifts are.  The biggest improvement is in the ending, which no longer is a reenactment of the Crucifixion.  The new ending is immensely more satisfying.  And the Rave even works when made into a celebration of victory instead of whatever the hell it was supposed to be before.

Other improvements include: Less time spent with Locke’s unprofessional outbursts, a little less of Merovingian’s aimless chatting, no irrelevant “last-exile” subplot, no Trainman subplot, a lot less of The Kid and Zee, and Neo no longer has super powers outside of The Matrix.  All of these changes makes the movies more watchable, though they are responsible for some of the harshest cuts.

Is too much ever cut?  No.  However, the near-removal of The Kid and Zee, who were our guides in the Zion battles, leaves those scenes less emotional than they should be, but the trade-off is worthwhile.  Otherwise, every cut is an unconditional improvement.  That’s not surprising because Doctor M errors on the other side—he doesn’t cut nearly enough.  Since he admits to being inspire by Dezionized, it is disappointing that he didn’t follow its lead in cutting some of the egregiously long action/effects sequences and other problematic moments. Trinity dies on the rooftop, the multiple-Agent Smith vs. Neo fight goes on forever, the chase is here in all its overstuff glory, and Morpheus tells Link to “trust him.”  These changes could have been taken directly out of Dezionized; maybe another fan editor will do just that.  But those cuts would not have been enough.  The changed structure of the movies set many other moments on the cutting block, but no blade is dropped.  Doctor M states “My goal is to preserve as much of the original footage as possible.”  But why, when the finished product would be better with a few more swings of the axe?

The question—as always—is: Are these fan edits good movies?  Almost, which is something I never thought I’d be able to say about Matrix sequels.  The new ending alone makes it a close call.  But even with more unnecessary moments removed, it would still have the Wachowskis’ misconceived concept as its foundation.  While watching, I was still left wondering why The Architect didn’t just ring up Neo and invite him over.  And why is this vital code stuck in some randomly chosen human in the first place?  And why…  Oh, there are too many.  Doctor M has done an amazing job finding the gem stone in the rough, but it’s not a diamond.  Maybe an opal,  and it still needs some cleaning.


The Matrix Regenerated
Editor(s): Chocalho da Morte.  Runtime: 253 min (-150 min).  2005.

The Matrix Regenerated combines all three Matrix films, as well as a few moments from The Animatrix, chops over a third of the footage, and drops the English dialog track in favor of Chinese dubbing with English subtitles. Obviously, this isn’t your typical fan edit.  With more abrupt scene transitions, this version has a staccato feel, as if the films were being translated into a manga comic or a B-level Hong Kong flick.  Actually, it feels more Japanese, but as my wife knows some Chinese and was with me for part of my viewing, I’ll stick with Hong Kong.

Chocalho da Morte claims that he isn’t trying to improve the original films, just make something different.  Many fan editors say that with an eye toward future legal problems or to be humble, but in this case, I believe him.  No one would replace their copies of the theatrical versions with this.  Instead, you might toss this on during that party you were planning for all your Asian film fan friends.  Or better still, have it playing on big screens at a local dance club while the speakers blare j-pop.  As for sitting quietly and watching, it’s amusing for a while, but it starts to wear thin at the hour mark, and this goes on for well over four hours.  As a forty-five minute short, this style might work.

I rate Regenerated as poorer than the source material, but that was almost certainly going to be the case even if all of Chocalho da Morte’s work was brilliant since he is editing the original The Matrix as well as the sequels.  The first film has little that can be removed without harming the work, and da Morte’s cuts are almost random.  Pieces are gone, others remain, and I can’t figure why.  The addition of brief clips from the short The Kid (out of The Animatrix) doesn’t help.  At first, it appears that those segments are supposed to be flashbacks to Neo’s high school days, which makes little sense since agents are running about.  When it is finally clear that it is still The Kid’s story, it only becomes more difficult to figure why they are there (time-wise, those events don’t happen until well after Neo has worked out how to use his powers).  Visions of the future?  A metaphor or parallel?  (These films do not need any more metaphors or parallel storylines—there are already far too many.)  Whatever the case, they are an uncomfortable fit.

Things flow better once we’re into the sequel material simply because those films are so bloated that almost any cut is a good cut.  da Morte has removed a great deal of footage and little of it is missed.  I applaud his deletion of the Persephone kiss (the first fan edit I’ve seen to do so), as well as the deletion or reduction of superfluous characters. Many of the moments that made me shake my head are gone, and the ones that are left are somehow easier to take in Chinese.  But even in the later films, it is difficult to figure why he cut some scenes and left others.  In the initial visit to Zion, the speeches are missing, but Neo’s aimless conversation with Councillor Hamann is still there.  We skip Morpheus being “greeted” at the dock, but get The Kid meeting Neo and carrying Link’s baggage.  We lose Neo and Trinity being passionate in the elevator, but keep Neo being treated as the Messiah.  We get Link at home, but don’t have the later payoff scenes when his wife fights the machines.

As in other extreme re-edits, such as The Matrix Hacked, there are some rough cuts, but here, for the most part, they aren’t troubling.  The Hong Kong/Japanese format is more forgiving of jittery storytelling.  The exception is the highway action sequence.  I’m pleased with anything that makes it shorter, but there has to be a better way to do it.  It just stops.  Morpheus kicks the agent off of the semi and bam, we’re back on the hovercraft.

Evaluating The Matrix Regenerated in the same fashion as I do other films, and even other fan edits, is unfair.  This is less art and more pop culture reference.  Call it a ride.  If it doesn’t completely succeed as great art, it does succeed in what I assume the fan editor wanted it to be—a schlocky, old school Hong Kong action pic.  That just isn’t a goal I’m interested in.

I don’t know where the Chinese dub-track came from—China’s a good guess.  My R1 disks don’t have it so I couldn’t do any comparing.  It is a phenomenal dub.  For a majority of the characters, the lip movements matched the words, which is a rarity (not so much for Laurence Fishburne due to his clear enunciation).  I can only assume that the two sentences in English (“I never finished the training program.”  “Neither did I.”) were a mistake.


The Matrix Squared
Editor(s): Spence.  Runtime: 165 min (-102 min).  2006.

Spence knows how to get the best out of a bad situation.  The bad situation is Reloaded and Revolutions, and after going through Spence’s rotating blades, they still feel like Reloaded and Revolutions, just leaner, meaner, and a lot less painful.

Added to the mix is the animated short Final Flight of the Osiris (part of The Animatrix), and live-action scenes from the video game Enter the MatrixReloaded, which is one of the most verbose films ever made, is strangely choppy and vague at the beginning.  The Wachowski Brothers left the main story details out of the film, giving people a reason to buy their animation disk and video game (which contains multiple scenes that were shot simultaneously with Reloaded).  That left those of us who don’t play video games out in the cold.  The Matrix Squared fixes that.  Before the opening credits, Spence has inserted the second half of Final Flight of the Osiris, which shows them discovering the army of machines and sending their report to Zion.  He leaves out the combat-play sequence, where we got to know the characters—it’s my favorite part of the short, but is unneeded here.  Considering how important the Osiris is to what happens for the next few hours, its adventure clearly belongs in the introduction.  Spence only uses a few minutes from Enter the Matrix, and again, it is material that should have been put in the theatrical versions.  It clarifies Zion’s and the captains’ plans, and rounds out Niobe.

The cuts are more important than the additions.  Almost every painful moment is gone.  The Merovingian no longer talks forever about nothing.  Locke no longer complains about the EMP saving their lives.  The Kid no longer runs up to carry baggage, and in my favorite deletion, Persephone does not ask for a kiss and recite multiple times why she is helping Neo: The elevator stops; she tells them to follow her, and then they are walking through the kitchen.  Perfect.

Of course, characters are greatly effected by the changes.  Some, who have little to do with anything (The Trainman, the Last Exile) are gone, while others who only muddy the story (The Kid, Zee, Locke, Councillor Hamann) are greatly reduced.  Interestingly, this allows me to get a better feeling for the relevant characters.  Not Neo of course, but he is a poorly written afterthought in the sequels, so there’s not much that can be done about that.  But without the rambling of the theatrical version, Morpheus, Link, Captain Roland, and particularly Niobe become more human and better subjects for my empathy.

With Squared, Spence proves himself to be a skilled editor.  The old rule states that a good editor is one who can cut even the best scenes if the story as a whole is better without them.  (It is derived from an even older rule for novelists.)  In the case of The Matrix sequels, you need to replace the phrase “even the best” with “cool,” since we’re talking about combat and effects sequences.  The films are filled with moments that are only there so that the viewer can exclaim, “Hey, that’s cool!”  Perhaps the most obvious is Neo’s test fight with Seraph.  If you’re a fan of ’70s chopsaki, you’ll probably enjoy it, but it is much like sticking a tap number in when Zion is attacked.  I saw The Blue Angels when I was a kid, and thought they were cool.  I also got a kick out of seeing King Kong climb the Empire State Building, but neither of those belongs in a Matrix film either.  Spence removes Seraph’s high kicks, and a number of other empty “wow” moments: the attack on the nightclub, the missile hitting the drilling machine, Neo’s first fight with the agents (OK, that one isn’t a “wow” moment, but it doesn’t qualify as anything else).  The effect is to ramp up the excitement because now, when big, loud, shiny things happen, they are actually important.

Generally, the changes are unnoticeable, but a few edits are distracting.  Here and there, a scene change is too abrupt or music will burst in.  One example is The Merovingian and his men suddenly appearing after Neo and company free The Keymaker.  You can tell something is missing.  There is also a mistake: a frame of Roland is visible in the middle of a scene with Locke.  Also a video glitch during the council scene caused the sound to go out of sync for a minute.  This is most likely an issue with the particular DVD and not with the edit, but without seeing another copy (not easy to come by), I can only guess.

While my normal cry while watching Matrix fan edits is, “Cut more!” Spence comes close to pulling everything possible—note, I said close.  His work has resulted in a few scenes becoming orphans.  We get the setup, but never the payoff.  Link’s discussions with his wife, Zee, are not character building for Link, but for Zee.  It prepares us for her combat with the machines.  But Spence has pulled that combat (a good cut), leaving the first without purpose.  We’re also shown Councillor Hamann chatting about his speech, but not shown that speech (a very good cut, but why not cut the discussion as well?).

Spence has vastly improved Reloaded and Revolutions, but that is all he has done.  What’s here is the Wachowski Brothers’ films lacking much of the foolishness.  It is the result of a good editor getting a hold of a bad script and some spectacular footage.  He uses great skill, but not great talent.  We’re still stuck with a nonsensical plot that only exists to display the numerous, and often contradictory religious symbols.  Neo is magical for no in-story reason.  The entire Reloaded segment is of no consequence since The Architect wanted to see Neo and it comes to nothing.  And the ending misses the tone of the first by forgetting that these are characters and the movies should be narratives; instead it’s all about the overblown theological symbols.  These aren’t Spence’s mistakes; they belong to the Wachowskis.  Spence just does nothing to remedy them, making the overall viewing experience less than overwhelming.

I can say that if you have Reloaded and Revolutions on your shelf, go ahead and toss them in the closet, and put Squared in their place.  Conceptually they are the same, but the execution is far superior in Squared.  But me?  I’ll be putting all three in a hard to reach corner.  Now if only something can be done about the conception…  Perhaps a yet-unseen fan editor can combine the ideas behind The Matrix Hacked and the execution of The Matrix Squared.  Then, maybe, there will be something to sit next to The Matrix on my shelf.

Oct 022012
 

This is a review of a “Fan Edit.”  Details of the original film, including twists and the ending,  may be revealed.

How do you follow Raiders of the Lost Ark?  George Lucas and Steven Spielberg couldn’t figure it out, so they ended up with Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, the weak link in the trilogy documenting the adventures of cinema’s all time most entertaining archeologist.

The story has Indy (Harrison Ford, in case you’re not paying attention), one year before his search for the Ark of the Covenant, crash landing in India with a brainless, blonde singer, who—for reasons known only to George Lucas—goes by the name Willie, and a precocious Chinese kid.  Assumed to be saviors sent by holy forces, the three set off to rescue the kidnapped children of a village and recover a magic rock.

I suppose that had I stumbled upon this film, an unknown action tale of a no name professor and two annoying sidekicks battling nineteenth century stereotypes, I might have found it an appealing way to lose a few hours on a Saturday afternoon.  It is far from a perfect movie, but it has some fun moments, as long as you aren’t expecting much.  But this isn’t an unknown film about an unknown character, and it was, and still is, a great disappointment.

Since I’m looking at the flick in terms of its potential as a source of fan edits, I’ll forget about what worked, and focus on where it went wrong:

  • A rambling narrative without a mythic goal.
  • A weak, shallow, female lead.
  • A child Man Friday (For God’s sake, why not just give Indy a puppy and be done with it).
  • Juvenile humor that doesn’t even work on its low level.
  • A villain that appears half way through the movie and is never given a personality.
  • Action sequences that go on too long, and, since they exist purely for the sake of spectacle, do not engage the viewer’s emotions.
  • An unbelievable romance that—since this is a prequel—we know will never amount to anything.  (Sure, he wants to get laid, and she’s cute enough.  That’s fine.  But why must they have some deep connection when there’s no way these two could care about each other on anything but a physical level?)
  • A racist portrayal of India and its inhabitants.
  • No sense of urgency or feeling that all of this matters (tossing a bunch of children into danger is a cheap way to raise tension, and in this case, this clichéd device doesn’t do the trick).

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom: The ADigitalMan Edit

Editor: ADigitalMan.  Runtime: 113 min (-5 min).  2006.

A gentle edit, ADigitalMan doesn’t try to change Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, but merely tweak it.  He pulls back some of the most absurd moments.  It’s amazing how much better he makes the film with so little cutting.

Partly, that’s due to the skill of the edits.  They’re perfect (at least for viewing on a 36 inch TV with a home stereo set at 5.  I couldn’t find a single jerking movement, out of place sound, or mismatched musical moment.  As far as what is on the screen, the cuts could have been done by original editors Michael Kahn and George Lucas.  With only a DVD to work from, this is amazing.  I had to run the studio edition simultaneously to determine where each alteration was made.

Of course skill bows to artistry, and here ADigitalMan also shows top form.  Everything that has been removed, should have been removed.  Mainly, it is the out of place, failed humor of Willie that’s now on the floor.  She screams less, whines less, comments on her fingernails less, and says fewer ridiculous lines.  This doesn’t make her a stronger character, but she is less annoying.  The most significant change is in the dinner scene.  Before, Indy’s serious discussion (read: exposition time) was broken up by Willie doing sitcom reactions to nauseating food items as they are brought to the table.  I can’t say why Lucas and Spielberg thought that people eating eels and giant bugs would be entertaining, or that Willie almost vomiting would be hilarious, but I can say that once again, they were mistaken.  ADigitalMan removes a majority of the poorly conceived food humor, keeping only what is needed for continuity: the first snake dish is still served, and Willie still faints at the sight of the monkey brains.  This makes the scene about Indy, which is pretty clever in an Indiana Jones movie.

With such effusive praise for ADigitalMan’s editing skills, you might think that I was going to stamp this work an unqualified success.  Ah, you don’t know me well.  While all the cuts are good ones, the project was too conservative.  There are still too many horrible moments with Willie, at least some of which could have been removed (the “romance” would have been a good place to start).  And while Willie has the most cringe-worthy lines, Short Round, Indy’s pidgin-English spewing child companion is close behind.  Unfortunately, his part is almost untouched.  A minute or two less of him yelling “Doctor Jones” would be an immense improvement.  And I’d be happy never to again hear:

“Okey dokey Doctor Jones.  Hold on to your potatoes.”
“D’is is fun!”
“Very funny.  Ha ha ha, very funny.  Ha ha ha, all wet.”
“Not my fault. Not my fault.  Not my fault.  Not my fault.”

ADigitalMan has made a more watchable version of a flawed film.  I see no reason to ever pick up the original again.  But he has left room for another editor to step in and improve upon his work.  I wonder what George Lucas is doing now-a-days.

Oct 022012
 

This is a review of a “Fan Edit.”  Details of the original film, including twists and the ending,  may be revealed.

For anyone outside of the goth subculture, The Crow is primarily known for the death of Brandon Lee. The son of martial arts legend Bruce Lee was shot and killed in a stunt gone wrong. It’s hard to guess how the movie would have been remembered had Lee lived, or even what the movie would have been like. Better, I’d guess.

The story follows the simple revenge exploitation standard (I Spit on Your Grave). A girl is raped and killed and her boyfriend, Eric Draven, is tossed out a window. A year later, Draven returns from the dead for vengeance. He hunts down and kills the attackers in a predictable fashion. Spicing up the action (and supplying enough additional plot to make the movie feature length) is the incestuous, Machiavellian pair of Top Dollar and Myca, crime lords who seek a way of steeling Draven’s invulnerability.

As is, The Crow isn’t satisfying.  (Read my full review of The Crow.)  What works is its stunning visual style, dizzying cinematography, mythic subplot, bizarre characters (well, a few anyway: Top Dollar and Myca command every scene they are in), and the savage violence.

More important when considering fan edits is what doesn’t work, most notably, the demystification of the avenging ghost through repeated scenes of chit-chatting.  Yes, this ultimate goth spirit spends half his time sitting around shooting the breeze.  He has a nice talk to a policeman over beers.  He chats to the scrappy girl multiple times.  The production loses its grandeur when the icon of death is reminiscing with a twelve-year-old. And to go with that, the film would have benefited from both the girl and the policeman being eliminated or greatly reduced.  The plot is overly simplistic, but there’s not a lot you can do about that.

So, The Crow is ripe for fan editing.  It’s a tricky film to work with as the removal of Shelley, the young girl, and the policeman would leave a few holes.  But this is also a movie where replacing dialog with dark wave music would not be out of place.  There are possibilities.


The Crow: The O’Barr Edit
Editor: Suicidal Wombat Productions.  Runtime: 53 min (-48 min).  2007.

The stated intension of the fan editor (I’ll assume an individual until told otherwise) is to make the film as much like the comic book as possible.  I can’t say how well he succeeded.  It’s been nearly ten years since I read the comic.  But that doesn’t matter since I have no interest in his intension.  You can attempt to make a movie more like its source material.  You can also attempt to make a movie more like a watermelon.  Both options make about equal sense.  Two of the greatest movies, Blade Runner and Casablanca, are notorious for abandoning their sources.  My concern is only if a film is good, and in the case of a fan edit, if it is better than the original.  Unfortunately, it isn’t, in both cases.

Suicidal Wombat Productions’ cuts are severe, turning the feature into a short film.  The majority of Shelley’s screen time is gone and the policeman now is nothing more than the officer who happens to work the local area. This is a vast improvement and puts the film on the right track. Their subplots are not missed.  I would have liked to see even more trimming of Shelly as she’s still around to talk with Draven in the street as well as have breakfast with her mom (because there’s nothing better in a gritty revenge flick then a girl and her mom frying eggs).

The cuts also keep us with Draven, seeing the world as he does.  Most filmmakers make the mistake of leaving the protagonist when it is almost always more exciting to keep a single viewpoint.  This is particularly important in thrillers.  But the fan editor didn’t give us enough of Draven.  If we are sticking with him, then it is vital to start with him, but his resurrection has been removed.  It was an emotional jolt, and without it, the picture feels like it fades in on a story already in progress.

As I watch fan edits, time after time I end up saying, “Why didn’t he cut more.”  The biggest mistake is almost always being too delicate.  Not this time.  In general, Suicidal Wombat Productions chops too much.  This is most evident with the main villains, Top Dollar and Myca, who no longer have any great plans, nor are they adversaries to Draven.  Top Dollar is just some guy who has far too many lines for his limited purpose, and Myca is a girl who stands around a lot (yes fans, Bai Ling’s shower scene is gone—now that’s cruel).  This causes three huge problems that kill this version.  First, they were the most interesting and entertaining characters in the film.  Without them, no one shines. Second, without their subplot, the story is too simple even for 53 minutes (45 minutes excluding the credits).  It wasn’t all that clever before, but now we’re left with a painfully linear story: dead guy comes back and kills four guys; the end.  That’s the plot for a twelve minute short.  Finally, while Top Dollar and Myca are cut, they aren’t cut enough.  Keeping in mind I don’t think they should be cut at all, if their story is gone, they shouldn’t be hanging around all the time.  Undoubtedly, if the fan editor had been the original filmmaker, these two characters wouldn’t have been written into the story.  But they were written in, and appear in too many scenes to be excised after the fact.  If a viewer who hadn’t seen the original sat down to view this edit, he’d spend half his time scratching his head and asking why those two irrelevant characters kept popping up.

The Crow The O’Barr Edit is a black & white film because the comic lacked color.  Since the feature had a de-saturated pallet, it doesn’t make much difference, but what little it does is negative.  It is a movie where blood should be red.  What would have worked better is a Sin City treatment, where most of the world is shades of gray, but a few important things stand out with vibrant, primary colors.

The Crow is a movie in need of help, but it doesn’t get it here.  If you like the comic, you’re in luck because it is still available.  If you want to see a good Crow movie, like me, you’ll have to wait and hope.

Oct 022012
 

This is a review of a “Fan Edit.”  Details of the original film, including twists and the ending,  may be revealed.

Constantine is a so-so action-horror film that has uninvolving action and nothing particularly frightening. It’s emotionally distant, with a recycled plot and underwritten characters. Its star, Keanu Reeves, based his interpretation of John Constantine upon bitter old men who are on hefty tranquilizers.  If that’s making it sound awful, then you may be surprised that it isn’t.  It’s just not all that good.  It’s an attractive time waster.  (Read my full review of Constantine.)

Constantine is a questionable choice for a fan edit.  The best sources are films that are basically very good, but have one or two distinct flaws that can be removed.  That’s not the case here.  Poor acting isn’t something that can be fixed with a few chops, nor is lackluster dialog. And there are no huge errors. I didn’t watch the original and think to myself, “Ah, that scene just doesn’t belong” as I did when watching Silent Hill.

However, it isn’t surprising that Constantine got the re-cut treatment.  It’s based on a cult comic, Hellblazer, which means it has a readership that has its own ideas about how the movie should have gone.


Hellblazer
Editor: Jorge.  Runtime: 126 min (+5 min).  2007.

I sat down with a feeling of trepidation to watch Jorge’s re-edit of Constantine.  It’s a bad sign when an editor mentions making a movie more like its source material.  I needn’t have worried.  While there are noticeable changes, it’s not a re-working of the film, but a mild alteration of it.  It is not an attempt to make a middling movie great (which would be doomed before it began), but only to make it a little better.  That it does.

What the now-titled Hellblazer does is keep the story on demon hunter John Constantine, with a few brief side trips with psychic Angela Dodson. There’s a rule in storytelling that almost no one remembers in filmmaking: Find a point of view, an entrance into the story, and stick with it.  If you follow one character, than the viewer gets the excitement of learning as he learns and is frightened by things that scare him.  If you float around from event to event, not only do you lose the mystery, but also the emotional intimacy.

Of course there are many, many reasons to abandon this mode of storytelling, but you need some kind of reason.  In Constantine the reason is to show a few cool action scenes.  It’s not enough.  The viewer is pulled away from John Constantine to watch a man carry the Spear of Destiny across the continent.  If there were some vital or even dramatic events connected to this trip, it might have made up for continually losing contact with the protagonist.  But the spear, like all the other magical toys that pop up throughout the film, is only significant for its single plot-device function. It could have been a +1 flaming sword or cloak of holding for all the difference it makes to the story (yup, Constantine has the same flow as your average role playing game).

In Hellblazer, the travelogue is missing. We learn about the spear when Constantine does, making what was nothing but a psychic flashback into something relevant.  The movie doesn’t start with people we will never know discovering something in the desert, but with Constantine learning lung cancer is going to kill him; the scene was moved from later in the film.  The changes don’t turn it into a personal story (nothing could), but they are steps in the right direction.

Not only do the cuts focus Hellblazer on John Constantine, but the additions do as well. Jorge added back deleted scenes that flesh out his life.  A few extra seconds expand his torturous childhood.  But the most important additions are two scenes (plus an extension of a third) that introduce us to Constantine’s demon lover.  Constantine‘s director, Francis Lawrence, had cut her out of the story because he wanted John Constantine to be alone before meeting Angela.  But what could be more alone than desperately seeking out a girl (very definitely the wrong girl) for some kind of contact and having her laugh at your pain.  Her return to the movie also repairs some rough editing in the original as her removal wasn’t seamless.

Jorge displays a keener understanding of editing than original editor Wayne Wahrman in his less significant changes.  He gives us Angela’s view of Hell when she first sees it (when it is dramatically pertinent) instead of at the end when we should be with Constantine.  He also removes a bug demon attack where the CGI wasn’t up to snuff.  The addition of a few seconds of cab travel at the beginning works to ease the viewer into Constantine’s world.  These are small matters, but they add up.

Hellblazer is not only well thought out, it is skillfully executed. The changes are undetectable. Each deletion is invisible.  Simply put, this is beautiful work.  One addition could have used color correction (the deleted scene source is lower quality than the rest of the film) but that’s a minor item.

Jorge’s version is not a magnificent film, but it beats the original. There’s little more that could be done to improve upon it (perhaps a bit less of the priest when he is on his own).  Since this isn’t a case where multiple versions are necessary, I plan to retire my DVD of  Constantine and put Hellblazer in its place.