Today’s list: The Marvel Cinematic Universe Movies, ranked in order from weakest to strongest (see also my ranking of MCU Villains and The Worst of Marvel). Normally I end up discussing some reasonably terrible films on the low end of a list, but that’s less true here. The lesser MCU films are better than most other superhero films, and all are generally fun flicks. For a change, this is a list of films mostly worth seeing in a theater and owning.
(Updated for The Marvels)
So, time to start with the least of them.
33 – Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021)Â
Doctor Strange is extremely irresponsible with a spell which ends up ripping holes in the universe and allowing Spider-men and villains from other universes to enter this one. Peter Parker then one-ups Doctor Strange by making irresponsible and stupid decision after irresponsible and stupid decision, causing death and pain all around, including for himself.
Walking in, I figure my problem with the film would be all the fan service and nostalgia related to bringing back previous actors and characters from the non-MCU Spider-Man films, after all, I liked all those films less than MCU movies. But nope, that all worked well, really surprisingly well, and retroactively made those films, particularly The Amazing Spier-Man pair, better. The problems came with the MCU Peter Parker. They’ve always played him as naive, but they double-downed on that with a character who should be a bit more worldly as he is older, and it just made him into an annoying brat. He was more of a child when he should have been more of an adult.
Now just because I didn’t like him didn’t mean I wanted to see him tortured, and this film really wants to torture him. The ending is painful and pointless. And then there’s the whole “Guess we can’t kill Uncle Ben… Who can we kill?” bit. This is still an MCU film, so there’s lots to like, but more than any other, there’s lots to annoy.
32 – Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022)Â
As the people of Wakanda mourn the death of King T’Challa, Namor, Lord of Atlantis, shows up to threaten Wakanda if they don’t give him an American student who’s discovered how to track vibranium. Although there are an almost infinite number of smarter things to do, Atlantis attacks Wakanda which then attempts to respond in as stupid a way as they can. Oh, and in America there’s a white dude because apparently there can’t be a movie without a white dude.
This isn’t a terrible movie, but it is a mess. Of course the problems come from a tragedy (the death of Chadwick Boseman), so they were screwed. That’s an explanation, but it doesn’t make the film any better knowing it. And of the not-good options they had, they didn’t choose the best. On top of that, it was a rough production, interrupted by the pandemic as well as foolish actions from an anti-vaxxer actress.
But wow, just basic mistakes. I’d say it was too long for their story, but I suppose not since they never chose a story and dipped into far too many. They needed to choose a main character, and stick with her. They didn’t. It would have been nice to have characters I liked and cared about, but nope. It would also have helped if characters didn’t keep making stupid decisions. And with so many characters, it was a poor move to introduce Iron Heart, who was completely unnecessary here, just so she’d be around for later films and series.
Then there were a few problems that have cropped up before, but they were worse here: tech being able to do anything one minute and nothing the next, a “war” consisting of a few dozen people; a token white dude.
Generally MCU films can dig out of any holes by being fun and witty — but this one was pretty serious — probably too serious. The way they set it up, they had little choice, but then, I’d have set it up differently. I can’t think of a single thing that was done well. After seeing what they did, I am more sympathetic to the people who wanted T’Challa recast, but I also see why they felt they couldn’t. They were in a lose-lose situation, and they lost.
31 – Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023)Â
Scott, his daughter Cassie, Hank Pym, Janet Van Dyne, and Hope are pulled into the Quantum Realm, where they are separated into two group, both trying to find a way home. They eventually meet to fight Kang The Conqueror, who has a past with Janet.
The problem here is character, or lack there of. Director Peyton Reed is unable to to deal with five main characters. Everyone is underdeveloped and underutilized. In this film, Scott is Cassieâs dad. Thatâs it. Thatâs all he is. He has no other traits. He isnât Scott Lang; heâs Cassieâs dad. Cassie is Scottâs daughter. Thatâs it. All we have is Cassieâs dad and Scottâs daughter. They donât have a story. They have no arc. They do nothing. Hope is barely in the movie. Physically she is. We see her standing or sitting or walking, but she has zero character. Janet isnât a character either, though in a different way. Half the time, sheâs an exposition machine. The rest of the time sheâs an anti-exposition machine, refusing to tell even the most essential information, instead simply saying how bad things are and leading the others forward. Which leaves Hank, who is the only one who has a personality. Since he does no more than Hope, that’s only so helpful.
Other aspects of the film donât work as well as they should: Kang is generic and his power levels fluctuate wildly; Bill Murrayâs cameo comes off as Bill Murray, not a character; The art design is pretty, but nothing stands out. But none of that matters. MCU films are about characters, and this film doesnât have them. I donât want to spend time with Scott and Cassie and Hope and Janet because thereâs nothing there to spend time with. I donât care about what happens to them because thereâs nothing to care about.
29/30 – Avengers: Infinity War/Endgame (2018/19)Â
Thanos sets out to collect the six infinity stones which will allow him to carry out his plan to reduce the universe’s population. His quest brings him into conflict with The Avengers, The Guardians of the Galaxy, and just about everyone in the previous MCU films. When he succeeds, the remaining Avengers set out to undo his “snap.”
Avengers: Infinity War is not a movie. It’s half a movie. Endgame is its second half. With them both out now, I no longer have to dwell on the incomplete nature of the first, and instead look at how the whole works, and for an MCU film, it doesn’t work very well. Fan service rules, without properly building to those moments or giving them context. Jump editing leaves far too much missing and yet at times the pace is too slow. Characters shrug off their personalities and major traits from previous films just to give the moments the directors wanted, without integrating those moments into a coherent, flowing story. Infinity War/Endgame isn’t a bad film, but it is a disappointing one, where little is earned, and spectacle and “cool moments” take precedence over good storytelling and character development.
Finally, this franchise looks less like refreshing, exciting, fantasy pop art, and more like the giant ticking machine run by a mega-corporation that it is. Infinity War/Endgame cannot even masquerade as being made for art or to tell a story. It was made to make money. Sure, movies generally are, but itâs nice if thatâs a little less obvious, or at least if there is some secondary motivation visible.
Its 2½-Reel rating is an indicator that if you wish to see it, you should see it at a theater, where all that spectacle can shine. If you miss the opportunity to see it on the big screen, think of it as a 2-Reel film, more comfortable sitting next to Justice League than its MCU brothers.
(Full review of Infinity War here) (Full review of Endgame here)
28 – Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021)Â
Shaun, his friend Katy, and his sister Li are kidnapped by his super-powered, warlord father whoâs convinced that his dead wife is talking to him and will destroy his wifeâs mystical village to find her.
The action is great, which is a given for an MCU film, but the fights are a step up from even most MCU movies. If youâre coming for the martial arts, youâll be happy, at least if youâre not asking for much else.
The character work is less enthralling. Shaun, when heâs not fighting, is a generic nice guy, which is a drab, action hero clichĂŠ that the MCU has generally avoided. Heâs not witty, heâs not complex. Heâs just kinda pleasant, which isnât enough to lead a film. Michelle Yeoh and Ben Kingsley do their best, but arenât in the film enough to give it some personality.
Which leads me to the real problemâthis movie really wants me to care about Shaunâs fatherâs feelings and his redemption arc, and also about Shaun and his fatherâs relationship, and I did not. I just wanted Shaun to kill him, but since Shaun is a generic nice guy, that wasnât going to happen, so itâs clear from the start that coincidences will save the day.
27 – The Incredible Hulk (2008)Â
Bruce Banner hides out from authorities as he tries to find a cureâa cure that will take him back into the life of Betty Ross, and put him into conflict with her obsessed father and a megalomaniac soldier.
Rebooting the green rage monster after Ang Lee’s miserable Hulk, Marvel decided to aim low, and they hit their target. Edward Norton never feels like a brilliant scientist, but does manage a likable and engaging blue-collar Banner. The relationships are simplistic, the motivations even simpler, but it’s all good fun with giant monster hitting giant monster. There’s enough story to keep me caring about who wins the battles, but not much more.
It would be four years till Mark Ruffalo created the definitive Banner/Hulk when the part was recast for The Avengers. When Ruffalo isn’t around, this will do.