Oct 092002
 
one reel

A group of twenty-something dance-clubbers decide to play with a makeshift Ouija board, summoning a djinn that possess one of them. The fire spirit is soon killing them, one by one.

Well, it’s British. That’s about the only thing that makes the randomly titled Long Time Dead stand out. In this standard, slow, talky, Teen Slasher, the deaths are generally off screen (but there’s plenty of blood afterwards). I’m sure the characters had names and separate personalities, but I didn’t notice. One was black, so that helped a little. The white guys should have worn numbers so I could tell them apart (maybe with the order they’d be killed so I could leave the room without missing anything).

The low budget shows in the large amount of time spent with various lone characters looking scared as the music builds. Each character is doing nothing and nothing is happening around him. You know you’re in trouble when the camera lingers on a guy looking at a computer screen with wide eyes as the “this is scary” music oh-so-slowly gets louder. That’s some fine screen-looking there. We don’t see what’s on the screen; we just watch him watch. Hey, if that’s entertainment, I know some computer labs that are just a party waiting to happen.

It all ends with the same twist that ends every other Slasher. Haven’t seen this film? Yes; yes you have.

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