Aug 042017
 
two reels

Unlovable rogue and antiquities thief Nick Morton (Tom Cruise) stumbles upon an ancient Egyptian tomb that is really a prison for Ahmanet (Sofia Boutella), a “mummy” who failed to bring the god Set into the world. Now freed, Ahmanet has chosen Morton as the new host for Set. Standing in her way is archeologist and misconceived love interest Jenny Halsey (Annabelle Wallis) and a secret organization of monster hunters lead by Dr. Henry Jekyll (Russel Crowe). Along for the ride is Morton’s dead friend, Jake (Chris Vail), who appears to make comments.

If somehow you missed the entertainment news on this one, The Mummy is the first entry in Universal’s attempt to create a shared universe. Shared universes are all the rage now that Marvel has made a few billion dollars on the concept and even though the other attempts, such as the DCEU (Superman, Batman, and friends) and the giant Monsterverse of King Kong and Godzilla, have met with mixed results, everyone is trying their own. Universal dug into their back catalog of ‘30s and ‘40s monster films and decided to start with The Wolfman (2010). But they hadn’t nailed their plan yet and the film failed, so they decided to restart it with Dracula Untold (2014). However that film failed as well so it was jettisoned and the first film in this shared universe is now The Mummy. Considering it is not making the kind of money Universal had hoped, it is unclear if this is the start or the end of a franchise.

What everyone, including Universal, seems to have forgotten in christening the original Universal horror films as the first shared universe is that it wasn’t. There was little connection between movies and less to imply things happened in the same universe. The Mummy movies (there were five) didn’t even connect up completely with each other. Likewise the Invisible Man films had little to do with each other and nothing to do with any other monster films. Of the 30-80 films in the cycle (depending on what you count), only four crossed monsters (Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man had the two titular monsters and House of Frankenstein, House of Dracula, and Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein had those two and added Dracula). All four films were tacked on after the fact and didn’t concern themselves with continuity or that the dates didn’t line up. The best of the old pictures (Frankenstein, Bride of Frankenstein, The Wolf Man, Dracula, The Invisible Man) stayed in their own universes and were the better for it. But these are the properties Universal owns and they are going to make a shared universe out of them no matter what.

So we get The Mummy, a film far more interested in introducing its universe-connecting threads then telling a story. We get plenty of time with Dr. Jekyll where he explains this universe of evil and get to see plenty of Easter eggs for films not yet made, and none of it matters for this film. All could be cut with very little effect on the story.

As for that main story, the film had six people involved with the screenplay and it shows. I’m surprised there wasn’t six directors; that would explain why it all fits together so poorly. At times the movie tries to be a dark horror picture. Other times it wants to be a serious action film before it slips into horror comedy and then onward into pulp. They clearly wanted to make a mummy movie, but no one decided which one. Many sections would have been fine in a full movie that matched that style, but as is it is a stitched-together mess. That’s made all the more visible by the volume of theft involved. The Mummy swipes bits from The Mummy ’99, An American Werewolf in London, Lifeforce, and Queen of the Damned. The pieces don’t work together and only draw attention to themselves—the sandstorm face and sarcastic ghostly friend are the worse offenders. Rumor has it that Tom Cruise and his people got involved during editing, trying to salvage the production, and I believe that. The Mummy looks like a film that was constructed in post.

With all the differing and unfitted parts, the characters get lost. They play with Ahmanet being ultimate evil as well as being sympathetic, but not enough is given to either view for it to mean anything. Taken one way, it might have been interesting. Taken the other, it is likely to have been moving and given Sofia Boutella something to do with her underwritten part. But we get nothing. Still, Ahmanet comes out better than Wallis’ Jenny. She has little personality and the only clear thing about her is that she wouldn’t be romantically involved with Nick. So naturally, she’s romantically involved with Nick. As for Nick, he never becomes a stable character of any kind, changing as often as the style of the film changes. I suspect that when one of those screenwriters re-wrote a scene, he didn’t bother to look back at what the others had done. The only certain thing about Nick is that he would never be romantically connected to Jenny. And yet…

Cruise is never a great actor, but he has enough charisma to pull off an action flick; here he looks tired. There is no sign of a movie star. I question if Wallis bothered (or was allowed) to read the entire script as she is disengaged, and Crowe is in easy-paycheck-mode. Boutella is the only one not embarrassed by the film, though it isn’t the actors’ faults. There was nothing they could have done.

I wish they had made a horror film as what works could have best been served by that genre. If not, than a fun, empty, monster mash-up where character development is of little importance. But this is what they made, and I can’t hate it, no matter how stupid it is, and it is pretty stupid. It is hardly a film at all, but there is a lot of running and jumping and zombie fighting and stabbing, along with magic casting and pretty girls, and that’s all stuff I like. I can’t blame you if you hate it, as there is so much to hate, but for me, it’s OK. Universal was hoping for more than “OK.”

Other Universal Mummy films include The Mummy (1932) The Mummy’s Hand (1940), The Mummy’s Tomb (1942), The Mummy’s Ghost (1944), The Mummy’s Curse (1944), The Mummy (1999), The Mummy Returns (2001), and The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008).

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