Oct 021962
 
one reel

A nuclear sub crashes into an iceberg, freeing Godzilla, who heads to Tokyo.  Meanwhile, a buffoonish pharmaceutical executive sends two agents to a tropical island where they discover King Kong.  When Kong drugs himself on narcotic berry juice, the nitwits decide to bring him back to Japan (just assuming that the drug will keep him unconscious) so that he can be used in advertising.  Instead, the ape escapes, finds the big lizard, and it’s pro-wrestling time.

Note: This review is for the Japanese version with English subtitles.

I try to ignore poor effects and makeup and judge each film for what it has to offer. I really do try.  But sometimes, it isn’t possible. I could, under other circumstances, ignore how horrible the Godzilla suit is, looking like a gray Pillsbury Doughboy with a Cecil the Sea Sick Sea Serpent head stuck on top.  Showing it under bright lights isn’t a clever idea, but it is passable from the side. I might have been able to forgive that the Black natives were all Japanese in black face wearing afro wigs. Some of the girls were quite cute in their native skirts after all.

kongvgodzilla

But the guy in the plastic, inflexible monkey mask, with a fuzzy sweater and over-long arm extensions that leave the mitten-like hands immobile…  No, that’s too much. There’s no way to ignore the ape costume.

The idea for this flick originally came from Willis O’Brien, a stop-motion artist on 1933’s King Kong, who wanted to bring Kong back in an impressive way. We can only sigh in relief that he died before this atrocity was unleashed.

Not that looking beyond the monkey mask helps much.  The story, such as it is, never bothers with anything like motivation or coherence.  People do things, normally stupid thing, just because.  Miraculous inventions (like super thread) come out of nowhere.  The editing makes it all that extra bit worse.  High school AV club members splice together ’50s VD instructional reels with more skill.

King Kong vs. Godzilla is a significant film in the history of the atomic lizard.  It was the first time he appeared in color (first time for the big ape as well).  More significantly, it was his first action/comedy film.  The dark themes were gone (well, all themes were pretty much missing).  Instead, it was just Godzilla stomping on some fake tanks and exchanging punches with another giant while the humans filled in time and acted as comic relief.  It would be the pattern for the next fifteen years.

Purists complain that the dubbing and reediting for the U.S. release ruin the film. Nah. It’s been years since I’ve seen that altered cut, with its additions of U.N. news reports, so the details are a bit foggy. I do recall that even as a ten-year-old, I found it embarrassing, but the Japanese version doesn’t change that.  The cuts remove much of the antics of the pharmaceutical employees, which improves things slightly.  Those characters spend a substantial amount of time doing silly things, but never anything funny. Zero. They fall down, faint, and make faces.  Your toddler cousin has a better routine.  If you are going to have any fun with King Kong vs. Godzilla, it will be by laughing at it, not with it. Chopping out much of the failed, intended comedy, and adding in pathetic dubbing can only give you more to snicker at.