Jan 082019
 

cloverfield3I’m a little late for my worst fantasy and science fiction of 2018. Still, a late warning is better than none at all.  I’ve no doubt missed some of the sand, but I’ve done my best to look at every film that had a chance to get onto this list. And I’m not counting ultra-low budget films without a real release. These are films that had studio backing.

Note: If I was expanding this beyond F&SF, Mission Impossible: Fallout and Tomb Raider would take slots below, and MI: Fallout is arguably SF, but as more people than not wouldn’t count either of them, I left them off.

First, a few special awards for films that avoided this list:

Most Disappointing: Deadpool 2 (My Review)
Most Unnecessary: Solo: A Star Wars Story  (My Review)
Greatest Artistic Drop in a Franchise: Incredibles 2

Now to the 10:

 

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#10 – Cloverfield Paradox

Swiping from Event Horizon, 2010, Life, Alien, and many ‘80s SF films, it never decides what story it wants to tell, so fails to tell any. (Full Review)

 

#9 – Truth of Dare 

It’s a patchwork of previous movies. There is not a single moment you won’t predict, even down the order of the deaths. (Full Review)

 

#8 – The Nun

Yet another film in The Conjuring franchise, there’s talent all over this production, but there’s no story. It’s just “some evil stuff happens” till it stops. (Full Review)

 

#7 – Halloween

Maybe it wouldn’t seem like such a sleazy cash-grab if the filmmakers had anything to say or if it hadn’t all been done before in an earlier Halloween film. (Full Review)

 

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#6 – The Titan

A sci-fi story about surviving on Titan, except there’s only 20 seconds on Titan. 50% of the film is spent in a pleasant glass house, and the rest at what I assume was a local Spanish YMCA. (Full Review)

 

#5 – Batman Ninja

This is what you show someone if you want them to hate Batman, comics, superheroes, and anime. (Full Review)

 

#4 – Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich

Shouldn’t a Nazi puppet film be fun? The murders are mean spirited, which kills the comedy. The silly moments kill the horror. And everything kills the message. (Full Review)

 

#3 – Slender Man

There’s no scares, no emotional beats, and no clever plot moments—there’s hardly a plot at all. It isn’t even memorable enough to rate as truly awful. (Full Review)

 

#2 – A Wrinkle in Time

An ugly After School Special with all the charm ripped away, it’s dull, simplistic, and an insult to children (Full Review)

 

#1 – Ready Player One

It’s a toxic stew of everything that’s wrong with fandom. It’s an obnoxious, sexist, racist rant in favor of nostalgia-fanboy mania, but it was made so poorly that the hate groups didn’t even realize it was for them till after its theatrical run. (Full Review)